# fishing just for guys?



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

so it hit me tonight that if your a girl and you go fishing with guys its wrong. I dont get how its wrong but it is. Its the fact that if you going fishing with a guy( and he is married.) its automatically cheating. WTF? So im thinking about leaving this site and just fishing alone, and away from everyone. This is not just a guys sport i love fishing and would do it everyday...yea im not the best but is great.


----------



## jeffmo (Apr 7, 2004)

give this place a fair chance.alot of good people here and lot of very good advice.


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

yea i know i love this site ive meet alot of good people and got some great information. its just i hate always being put down because im going fishing with a *guy!*
its crazy...


----------



## jennis9 (Jun 13, 2008)

kate007 said:


> so it hit me tonight that if your a girl and you go fishing with guys its wrong. I dont get how its wrong but it is. Its the fact that if you going fishing with a guy( and he is married.) its automatically cheating. WTF? So im thinking about leaving this site and just fishing alone, and away from everyone. This is not just a guys sport i love fishing and would do it everyday...yea im not the best but is great.



Kate, you only have three posts here on OGF.... hard to say that you've been put down too many times by the guys here. 

Not sure what you are expecting from your post -- please don't take this the wrong way. But it seems as though you may have been in a situation that made someone uncomfortable - and if you are innocent, who cares? If you are offending someone's better half at no fault of your own, maybe you could reach out and make someone feel less threatened. That would be less frustrating for you and them.

Fishing is a great sport -- and it is not a men's only club or forum. Lots of times you can't tell who's behind the keyboard -- and that makes it work. Because we talk about fishing, tackle and technique. 

Not sure how it 'hit you' tonight, but you might want to try another angle.


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

kate007 said:


> yea i know i love this site ive meet alot of good people and got some great information. its just i hate always being put down because im going fishing with a *guy!*
> its crazy...


Some people " get off " on messing with other people. It happens on all forums - but this site is great because the moderators (and some of it's other members) try their best to put a stop to the nonsense. Please try to think positive - and stick with this site. We need your input!


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

I wouldn't get down if I was you,there's nothing wrong with fishing with guys if you're a girl/woman.As long as it's on the up n up then all is ok.There's some good people on here & there's some fools on here as well.It's just life,there's good & there's bad everywhere.Women/girls have every much of a right to fish as we guys do.Hell I was my wife would go fishing with me once in a blue moon.So keep your chin up,keep fishing,have some fun out there,& catch a monster or two.


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

Thanx you guys and it wasnt the site that all of this happen. yes i have got alot of good info from this site and i have a new fishing buddy that we go all time. It just starts to get to you, and i think i just got sick of hearing about.


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

> Kate, you only have three posts here on OGF.... hard to say that you've been put down too many times by the guys here.


Its not on the site just thinking about removing my self from another tough spot.


----------



## FSHNERIE (Mar 5, 2005)

Kate...My daughter fishes, and she is better then most. Her boyfreind? dose not fish and she loves it. You will find a fishing buddy.


----------



## Iowa Dave (Sep 27, 2009)

Kate I don't personally have or see any problem with you fishing with a guy at all. Some people are jealous and really don't need to be. I would be more than happy to take you out on my boat if you want to fish for walleye on Lake Erie next time I'm up that way. I'm hopping the last week of July or first of August just have to see how work goes. I will send you a PM. 

David


----------



## jshbuckeye (Feb 27, 2005)

I havent seen you on here before Kate, but some info on what area and what you like to fish for might bring you a seasoned angler in the area to fish with. Being a woman I would make extra arrangements of sorts other then the way alot of us guys say hey I have an open seat if anyone is interested, and make it known who you are going to be fishing with, where and when. We need a womans perspective on things on this site, although some of us already know it all.


----------



## hardwaterfan (Apr 6, 2004)

> so it hit me tonight that if your a girl and you go fishing with guys its wrong. I dont get how its wrong but it is. Its the fact that if you going fishing with a guy( and he is married.) its automatically cheating. WTF?


that could be any activity, not just fishing. it could be kite-flying. maybe introduce yourself to the spouse, invite the spouse, or just meet at the lake. im not suggesting to ever lie, but meeting at the lake would just be easier. if you can hold your own head up high then do it, people judge other people based on how well they know themselves, not you.


----------



## Toxic (May 13, 2006)

Just keep doing what your doing and do not worry about what other people think! You cannot let other people influence your life. People disagree with me all the time. But I do not let it deter me from what I like, or want to do.


----------



## quackpot (May 17, 2009)

Kate where do you fish at? Don't let what people say run your life. Fishing is a great sport or hobby. Anyone is more than welcome to fish on my boat when ever I go male or female.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Guess I will add my .02 cents...As far as friends go,I have 4-5 female friends I see often to go do stuff with...All of them have boyfriends that I hang out with as well...Most of them have kids and I will meet them at the park,or mall,or what have you..I have been fishing with all of them as well lol..I have known all of them for many years..I think thier men know enough to know I dont see the girls as more then friends..Plus they know most bad guys will try to find a women by herself to mess with versus a woman who is in the company of a male...Now as far as women fishing in general....Its a requirement for any female I get with to like fishing lol..I could not be with a woman who didnt enjoy it..


----------



## MassillonBuckeye (May 3, 2010)

Go fishing with a single guy like me! heh


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

Thank you guys..all of you have helped me just got sick of people telling me what i can and cant do. it even comes from my family which makes it worse. I try to get out as much as i can but its hard anymore im getting busy.


----------



## 7thcorpsFA (Mar 6, 2010)

Sure wish I had a girl to fish with. My fishin buddy is a guy who is ugly and smells bad.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Great thread...I'm bettin' 5 pages.

Kate, I'll take ya fishing, honey. Pay no attention to your mean 'ole family. I'm married, but like you said, "what's the big deal?" We can meet anywhere. I'll come pick you up if need be.

BTW-- You are 18...right?


----------



## eriewalleye (Feb 22, 2008)

Kate, Don't let other people's opinion run your life. I have a neighbor woman, who is married and so am I, and she goes fishing on Lake Erie with me from time to time. Her husband doesn't like the big water but she does, and he doesn't care if she goes out on the boat with me. When we go, we go fishing and that is all, and I don't really care what other people think as long as our spouses believe us. I laugh at some of the looks we get because I know what they're thinking. LOL


----------



## back lash (Sep 13, 2008)

What did you do now kate? J/K..If some guys wife or girlfriend does not like you fishing with him,it is probably because he gave her a reason not to trust him.And now you are the "bad girl". By the way,we need to go out to the pond again.The weeds are getting bad,and I need you to dredge the place with your rage tail craws again.lol...B.L.


----------



## Lundy (Apr 5, 2004)

Toxic said:


> Just keep doing what your doing and do not worry about what other people think! You cannot let other people influence your life.


Great advice

As a long as you are comfortable with yourself that is all that really matters.



Wiper Swiper said:


> Kate, I'll take ya fishing, honey. Pay no attention to your mean 'ole family. I'm married, but like you said, "what's the big deal?" We can meet anywhere. I'll come pick you up if need be.
> 
> BTW-- You are 18...right?


Ridiculous response


----------



## DaleM (Apr 5, 2004)

Wiper Swiper said:


> Great thread...I'm bettin' 5 pages.
> 
> Kate, I'll take ya fishing, honey. We can meet anywhere. I'll come pick you up if need be.
> 
> BTW-- You are 18...right?


Comments like this one is what she's talking about. Wiper, how about a serious responce for a change? We, and she doesn't need this.

Kate ignore what he posted. There are many many great people on this site that will be glad to help you out. We do have many female members as well. I can understand why at times you'd think that though. Some people just can't leave things alone.


----------



## Big Daddy (Apr 6, 2004)

Kate, if you want to fish with other like minded women, look into the "Fishing Ladies of Ohio". It's a fishing club for women who enjoy the outdoors. I can get you their contact info, just send me a PM.

Hang in there, just do what makes you happy and don't sweat other's opinions. Enjoy your time outdoors!


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

Thank you guys this is more like a family anymore. i want to go fishing as much as i can and im going to ignore everyone that gives me a hard time anymore its not worth it. I love that you all are understanding...i wish more people were.

Lash- I will come out fishing soon so i can clean the pond out for you . I know it has to be nasty because im not comming out there enough to keep it clean. by the way thanx cause you've done a lot for me!


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Kate welcome to the site.I understand what you were trying to say but rest assured that's not what everyone believes or thinks.As shown also we all don't behave the same way.Hang in there as we have a lot of pleasant,knowledgeable guys willing to share their experience with you or anyone.We have our bad apples just like any group but overall we are a great group and help others. As for being a female you certainly aren't the only female fishing now days as I have seen many out there.The fish doesn't know if it's a male or female making the offerings.Good Luck and stay at it.


----------



## flathunter (Apr 5, 2004)

personally I dont think a woman, or man for that matter should be fishing or doing any activity if they are married and the person they are doing it with is not there wife or husband...If they do insist on recreational time with members of the opisite sex it should be with there wife or husband...Just my opnion and I am allowed it.

I have seen to many familys torn apart by simple things such as this, and yes it should really be fine, but sometimes the person who is offended by it does not see it as so cool.

For instance mommy stays home taking acare of 3 kids in diapers, while daddy is fishing with another woman....Jealousy kicks in and there goes the family.

I am sure most men would not want to stay home and take care of the kids while mommy was out on the water with another guy either...I said most not all.


----------



## RedJada (Jun 21, 2009)

puterdude said:


> we have a lot of pleasant,knowledgeable guys willing to share their experience with you or anyone.
> 
> Did I read that right? "pleasant,knowledgeable guys" Why do you think you guys are better at fishing than a girl? How do you know that a "girl" cant out fish you. Is it your afraid to give it a chance? Or your afraid a girl may know more about fishing than you? No offense to anyone here, but being a girl, and yes, I enjoy fishing. Heck, I may even fish better than you, maybe not.
> 
> ...


----------



## ShakeDown (Apr 5, 2004)

I guess it all depends on what everyone involved is secure and comfy with. If he's ditching his wife to fish with you, getting some heat is a given.

Wiper Swiper...that might be the creepiest thing I've read here, ever. Thanks for setting the bar so low for the rest of us, that we trip over it on our way to the toilet. What a charmer.


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

It really does depend but im not asking a guy/girl to leave someone at home to come fish with me. i understand if someone cant and i hope to god they are asking if they can do it before they just go. but if they dont why take it out on the one that was invited to it?

and i am with redjada on this but i dont want to make this a sexest thing. Im not very good i know what but i like to believe i am. I have a few people helping me where my dad left off and i hope one day i can know about everything. yes and you ask lash about it we go fishing and i clean the bottom of the pond of all the weeds.


----------



## killingtime (Apr 29, 2009)

redjada i dont think thats the point dick was making. if anything i think he was encouraging all women to fish and dont worry about what other people say or think. i didnt read anything about men being better fishermen than women.


----------



## Tokugawa (Apr 29, 2008)

Kate - my mom taught me to fish, so it certainly is not a male/female thing. Keep fishing.

There are two issues here - one is fishing and the other is who you fish with. I know that if I ever went fishing alone with another woman, my wife would be very upset. She has every right to be as my wife. You may want to find a way to go fishing that doesn't complicate your life and that let's you enjoy the time more.

My 2 cents - good luck!!


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Redjada,I certainly didn't mean to offend you or any of the other gals on here,Yes I should have said guys & gals instead of just "GUYS" .Killingtime got it right,male or female go fishing and enjoy it that's what I was trying to say.Forget about what others say or think.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

ShakeDown said:


> Wiper Swiper...that might be the creepiest thing I've read here, ever. Thanks for setting the bar so low for the rest of us, that we trip over it on our way to the toilet. What a charmer.


Oh please...so I didn't use the "LOL" smilie. Using it seemed creepier to me.

Time for an HONEST response?

Kate,

Your family is absolutely correct. You have no business meeting married men from the internet at remote locations under the guise of finding fishing partners. It's common sense. If you want to hear how the members on this site would act in your dad's shoes, ask them if they would approve of THEIR daughter behaving as you seem so dead set on doing. It ain't safe. Hire a reputable guide. Extend an invitation to the ladies who frequent these pages. Or, better yet, learn the way I did. From my father, and by reading every angling article I could get my hands on. Then...get your feet wet. You don't need some cyber joes to learn the craft. Your eyes, your ears, and your willingness are all that's required to advance your skills. Sure it's fun to share time on the water with a buddy. Choose you partners carefully. An interest in "fishing" isn't enough. You've got to share the same love of the resource, or it won't work. Going out with a new partner IS a blind date. Most blind dates don't go all that well. If your family doesn't approve of someone you have fished with several times, and you've got to know...well, they probably have a pretty good reason. I trust my family's judgement. They mean a whole lot more to me than a bunch of strangers on a message board.

Peace--The Swiper 

Now...for part two of the nonsense in this thread. I have seen more than 10 GUYS post similar cries for acceptance...and they get 2 replies. What's creepy is that everyone comes out of the woodwork when the poster identifies themselves as female.


----------



## BassBlaster (Jun 8, 2006)

Wiper Swiper said:


> Now...for part two of the nonsense in this thread. I have seen more than 10 GUYS post similar cries for acceptance...and they get 2 replies. What's creepy is that everyone comes out of the woodwork when the poster identifies themselves as female.


That exact same thought crossed my mind when I read this thread and is the exact reason why I didnt reply to it. Also, my wife would freak if I left her at home to meet some chick from the internet to go fishing as well and I have never given her a reason to wonder what I may be doing when I'm not home so I can see why some would have a problem with this situation.


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

I never said i was meeting people from the site. I ment fishing with guys in general...as in friends ive known for some time, or anything.


----------



## BassBlaster (Jun 8, 2006)

My wife would probably still have a little trouble with that but in my mind that is a little different.

I guess I would have to ask myself how would I feel if it were the other way around? If I didnt fish and she did and went with other guys, even ones she has known, I dont know how I would feel about it. I guess I have a mixed feeling about it, I dunno. She dont like to fish so no worries.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

kate007 said:


> I never said i was meeting people from the site. I ment fishing with guys in general...as in friends ive known for some time, or anything.


Ok...but, listen to what BassBlaster said (and, I agree with.) It doesn't matter who tells you no big deal. It's an awkward situation. If your family is uncomfortable with it...I would trust them for honest advice. Not the peckerwoods who hate their wives standing in line on some message board.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

flathunter said:


> personally I dont think a woman, or man for that matter should be fishing or doing any activity if they are married and the person they are doing it with is not there wife or husband...If they do insist on recreational time with members of the opisite sex it should be with there wife or husband...Just my opnion and I am allowed it.
> 
> I have seen to many familys torn apart by simple things such as this, and yes it should really be fine, but sometimes the person who is offended by it does not see it as so cool.
> 
> ...


I apologize for passing over this. You are correct, sir.


----------



## steelheadBob (Jul 6, 2004)

Wiper Swiper said:


> Ok...but, listen to what BassBlaster said (and, I agree with.) It doesn't matter who tells you no big deal. It's an awkward situation. If your family is uncomfortable with it...I would trust them for honest advice. Not the peckerwoods who hate their wives standing in line on some message board.


Or the guy standing in line waiting to get there kicks from the reactions from other members about the post they just made on some ones thread!

Kate, your just going to have to do what you think and feel is right and how it "will" or "will not" effect you or others.
You can follow what guys and gals on here say or dont, or you can follow what your family thinks or dont, your going to have to be your own judge and figure out whats right! Just because it is or isnt right for someone else, dosnt mean it is or isnt for you!


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

kate007 said:


> Thank you guys..all of you have helped me just got sick of people telling me what i can and cant do. it even comes from my family which makes it worse. I try to get out as much as i can but its hard anymore im getting busy.


:F Sounds like you need to take your family out fishing. That will "fix" them!


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Jigging Jim said:


> :F Sounds like you need to take your family out fishing. That will "fix" them!


I agree,take your family out fishing...I will admitt I never go by myself anymore...It just dosnt seem as fun...Maybe someone in your family will be so enthralled by landing a big one that they may make you take them whenever possible lol..Like I said before,guys and girls can be friends without being anything more...I have never had a female friend choose a man over her guy friends,they always tell them to get lost...I dont know any women that play into the jealousy game when it comes to guys tellin them to ditch their guy friends..I undertsand some people on here are from a different generation..But I would be fightin a guy who felt so inadequate about himself that he would tell me to get lost and not see my friend anymore..Now let me get this strait though..I would not encourage my girl to find and meet random guys and stuff lol..But I am talkin long time friends here...When I hang out with my female friends,99% of the time they talk about their man and their kids lol..


----------



## Reel Lady (Jul 4, 2004)

Kate,
I am a woman, and I have been fishing with "guys" for over 20 years. Being the super "Tomboy" that I am, I find it pretty difficult to meet other women that share the same interests as me, so naturally, I just feel more comfortable with "the guys" because of the things that we have in common. 
I have met many "guys" that I have fished with through fishing forums just like this. I am living proof that a male and female can fish together with nothing more. 
The funny thing here is that it is the guys that I fish with that end up being accused of sleeping with me, and not the other way around. I think these guys are projecting their feelings because perhaps they find it so incredibly difficult to believe that a man and woman can spend time out on a boat with nothing else ever happening. 
I do not make their thoughts or accusations MY problem. I am confident in who I am, and I am confident that I am there to fish, and nothing more. I have made some incredible friends through fishing, and 99% of them are guys, with many of them being married. 
To all of the "jealous" guys out there.... Does your wife work? Does she go shopping? If she does either of the above, then you can guarantee that if she is the type to be unfaithful, then she has MORE of an opportunity to meet someone at work than she does fishing. 
The fishing community is a VERY small community, and the internet has made it that much smaller. 
In ALL of my years of fishing with guys, I have NEVER had one even attempt to cross "that" line. Not ever. 
Guys may be guys, but I can absolutely say from my experience that the "Outdoorsman" is different than your typical guy. I'm not saying that they are angels and that they don't have the occasional stray thought, they are human after all. But these thoughts can occur whether they are at work or at the grocery store. Opportunity exists everywhere, and in my opinion, a woman is MUCH safer spending time on a boat with a fellow outdoorsmen than she is anywhere else. Outdoorsmen, in general, are very respectful to other outdoorsmen, and that includes women who share a passion for the outdoors as well. 
Kate, I would not hesitate for one moment to meet others online and then eventually hit the water together. Any man that frequents these forums is a publicly visible. They know that if they were to act inappropriate in any way, that it would become public knowledge very quickly. Inappropriate behavior by an outdoorsman is something that is not tolerated very well, and I don't know many men that would willingly blacklist themselves within the fishing community. 
One thing for sure is to make sure that your "guy" fishing partner informs their significant other that they are fishing with you. If they are unwilling to do this, then there is an issue, and I would suggest that you don't go if this guy wants to keep you a secret. 
Secrets are for people with a guilty conscious. If there are no secrets and there is nothing to hide, then one would have NO problem speaking the truth. 
If the truth is not spoken, this should be a big red flag in your mind. If there is a significant other, you may want to introduce yourself to her and reassure her that you are all about fishing. 
From my experience, it is the non-fishing community that has a MUCH harder time accepting the fact that a man and woman can fish together without anything else going on. 
Fishing is one of the few sports/activities that shows no discrimination between man, woman, or child. A line in the water, is just a line in the water. Who is on the other end of that line is completely and totally unimportant.
My final advice is to meet as many fellow anglers as you can. Attend the OGF outings to meet people (including spouses) face to face. There is absolutely NO reason to hire a private guide, there are PLENTY of awesome guys (and gals, including me) RIGHT HERE that would be more than happy to pick up where your Father had left off. This is a "Fishing" website, and not a "Dating" website. I want you to feel safe, and continue to reach out to those that can help you grow as an angler. 
So FISH ON Sister! You just keep on doing what you love, and don't let other (non-fishing) folks influence your decision to fish or not fish with someone based on nothing more than their gender. 
You are safe here, among other outdoorsmen, but outside the fishing community is a different situation with a different set of "do's and dont's".


----------



## mirrocraft mike (Mar 17, 2006)

WOW Just read all 43 posts.. Should have skipped over a few...

Here you go Kate

Reel lady says it all with some solid advice 
EXCELLENT RESPONSE !!!!


----------



## Nikster (Mar 14, 2007)

Whoa there!

Don't know you nor have read any of your posts. So if there is anything that you take that I write is offending to you then don't. It is MY OPINION & ONLY MY OPINION. With that said;

*I give a rats arse from people & their opinion in who I go fishing with. Never even had to give it a second thought. *

My wife goes with me about 5% of the time when on Lake Michigan rolling around in calm waters for Salmon. So that leaves 95% in fishing with a number of friends. 

One should not take any stupid comments from anyone on a serious note. Pursue your hobbies in the way you want. 

Nik

Nik


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Its great to see that some women have an open mind and avoid stereotypes like " a guy thing " or " a girl thing " , anybody can and would enjoy fishing and many other outdoor activities if they would give it an honest try. Its good to see more women posting on here too since it is for everybody. As for fishing with someone elses husband or boyfriend , or for a man..fishing with someone elses wife or girlfriend , I would leave it up to the other person. If that persons husband or wife , etc. is truly ok with it then fish on  It dosent matter what anybody else thinks and they should mind their own business. But on the other hand if there is any chance at all that the persons spouse may not be totally in agreement then its a recipe for trouble , and it isnt that persons fault. Its completely natural for a little bit of jealousy to develop and even suspicions for some people , and thats not good for anybody. So the way I see it is there is no right or wrong about it , just that being cautious never hurt anybody. I know my wife would not want me to be spending time alone with another woman out fishing and I can respect that , so I would never do it. I dont think I would appreciate her hanging out with another guy either unless it was like with a group of friends or something. But if she were to be ok with it , I know beyond any doubt that we could have a nice time fishing as friends and no different than fishing with a guy friend. And if you were single and fishing with a single guy , then who would care ?


----------



## bdawg (Apr 14, 2009)

Kate,

I would suggest that you go to one of the Meet n Greet outings that OGF puts on from time to time. I've gone to 2 of them since I joined and they've been great. It would be a good oppurtunity to meet some of the people before scheduling a fishing outing with them at some secluded ramp. Like other posters said, most outdoorsman are good people, but some are bad apples. I've been looking for people to fish with on this site for a year and still have not hooked up with anyone. I've given a few guys my number by private message, but get no calls back. Maybe I should give some girls my number instead? I think my wife would be okay with it. I have 3 girls that I already take fishing, my daughters. Also have fished with my aunt who loves fishing.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Nikster said:


> Whoa there!
> 
> Don't know you nor have read any of your posts. So if there is anything that you take that I write is offending to you then don't. It is MY OPINION & ONLY MY OPINION. With that said;
> 
> ...


A good strait to the point comment Nikster..You only live once..Why let other people dictate your journey in life with their BS...


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Iraqvet said:


> A good strait to the point comment Nikster..You only live once..Why let other people dictate your journey in life with their BS...


Because the "other people" in Kate's life are her family? Their "BS" should be considered.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to a few of you social workers to hear both sides of her story. Kate's kinda left out the details on why the family finds her conduct so objectionable. Is it possible that they may actually have a point?

Every family's a little different. But, mine has never come down on me with BS, or tried to dictate my journey in life.

In fact, when stern "advice" was required, after a little cooling off, I always came to the conclusion that they made perfect sense! 

Trust your family, Kate. Not a bunch of strangers who know nothing about you.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Wiper Swiper said:


> Because the "other people" in Kate's life are her family? Their "BS" should be considered.
> 
> Perhaps it would be beneficial to a few of you social workers to hear both sides of her story. Kate's kinda left out the details on why the family finds her conduct so objectionable. Is it possible that they may actually have a point?
> 
> ...


I am no social worker..And I am not one of a few guys on here who were inviting her to fish or ask her about her age...I have seen first hand what a "family" can do to one cause they wouldnt let someone think for themself..I will use a female friend as an example...She met a guy who moved up here from Georgia..They hit it off and started dating..And a few months into it,he got her pregneant..Well turns out his "family" was super religeous..When they told them about their situation,I had to come get her from the house..They made her wait for me outside..I got there and the guy's mom came out and started yelling to me about how my friend was a blankety blank blank and how she ruined her son's life by getting pregneant..She starts crying and talks about her son being a saint and all that and how it was her fault about everything...Well,she also decided she wouldnt allow her son to do nothing til the baby was out and confirmed to be his..When the kid was born, she wouldnt let him go to the hospital..She also decided my friend would have to take them to court for anything,including DNA tests..He listend to his "family" the whole time..Funny thing is,in the state of Ohio if you are not married,the state will have you take a DNA test free of charge..His family made him go to court,and that offer did not stand anymore,and now he pays extra money to the state every month to cover the cost of it..And of course,the kid was his and he had to pay back child support as well...Long story short Wiper,your family isnt always right cause they are family..Now I could understand them tellin Kate not to meet random guys and fish with them,cause that could be dangerous..But for her family to tell her not to fish with guys at all sounds pretty weird...It sounds like they have a one track mind when it comes to men and women...


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

I totally agree that just because they're you're family that they don't always know what's best for you.What's best for each person should be decided by THAT person(of course they're 18yrs old n considered a legal adult) & no one else.Only we know what's best for us in any given situation.

Kate do what your gut instinct & what your heart tells ya to do.You can take what others tell ya into consideration but ultimately the decision is all yours to make.Live your life they way you choose to do so & fish on girl!!!


----------



## Iowa Dave (Sep 27, 2009)

I told my fiance' Marsha about this and she agreed that I should ask Kate next time I was up on Erie if she wanted to go. I have extended that invitation to Kate thru a PM. We both thought it crazy for others to think anything other than what it is for someone who has a boat offering another who does not an open seat and the chance to fish someplace they have never been. 

Kate you are most certainly welcome to fish with me when I am up on the Big Pond and have an open seat. 

Iowa Dave


----------



## JignPig Guide (Aug 3, 2007)

Like Reel Lady said...  "Fish On Sister". It doesn't matter who you're with, as long as you are enjoying your time on the water.

Don't sweat the small stuff. There are much bigger things to worry about. Such as, when will you hook into a giant. Now that's somethin' to worry about.

Good luck!


----------



## swantucky (Dec 21, 2004)

I have crossed this particular bridge myself. Being married for a heck of a long time the idea of fishing with a female never crossed my mind. A few years back I met a great married couple that both wanted to get into walleye fishing. They both bought the gear and joined some buddies and I. Both the husband, wife and I became great friends. My spouse does not fish but also got to know this couple well.

Her husband works out of town alot and can't take her. They agreed they were not comfortable with her fishing alone(river fishing). When she wants to go and can get away from the baby she calls and we go. The biggest thing is everything upfront and honest. All spouses involved are cool with it. Sneaking around would be a different story.

Which leads me to one of my favorite river jokes. Her and I will be fishing and an aquaintence will walk up and ask if that is my wife. I reply "no my wife does not fish, this is my girlfriend" and just go back to fishing. For some reason that just cracks me up.


----------



## fishingjunkie (Aug 25, 2009)

This whole thread has me boggled. 

In theory, men and women should be able to be great friends without any of the negative assumptions that others may attach to the relationship.

In reality, too many times it may progress into something damaging to the marriage. 

I have several very close male friends, and my BF has a close married female friend. We are both okay with this. Others on here have already vouched that they experience great friendships with members of the opposite sex as well.

Sadly, I have seen too many instances of such friendships becoming more intimate than anyone ever intended and people get hurt. This may include an emotional intimacy without physical/sexual intimacy if the "friend" becomes more important in the married person's life than the spouse.

IMO, I think Kate and her friend should do what makes them happy, but only if the spouse involved is comfortable with the situation. If his spouse is unhappy with the situation and he chooses to continue the behavior in spite of her feelings, the guy isn't worthy of having as a friend or fishing buddy.

Kate, don't get stuck in a bad situation because you don't want to miss out on fishing. OGF members have already extended invitations to you and offered you great advice. Reach out and you'll meet wonderful people here and you'll enjoy some awesome opportunties to fish without all the drama that may be involved in your current situation! Good luck!


----------



## bassman2 (Jul 14, 2007)

I find this thread quite amusing. A guy can post an issue/want someone to fish with and get a few hits. But a woman post.....and wow....the guys come out of the woods. I do not know about others reading this thread, but it seemed like "male ego and testosterone" was coming out of my computor! I aske the "old fellow about fishing with girls" and he shuttered, I ask what was that all about. 
"Don't recommend it, or severly caution the guys who might!"
"Whys that", I asked
"When I was young and single I asked a girl to go fishin' , thinking I would impress her with my skills and ability. Needless to say, she put me to shame. Out caught me. Crushed my ego.....from that day on I vowed to never fish with another woman!!!!!"
"But I've seen you fish with Sarah (his wife) many times.?"
"Yes......she's the girl who out fished me!"


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Lets take a look at it from the other side for a minute. What if it were not fishing , what if it were going out to watch movies , going to dinner , just hanging out in general ....all of these and more could be considered hobbies and fun things for like minded friends to do and could be done without any form of intimacy other than friendship. But would it be right if one or both persons were married or engaged to another ? Would you want your husband or wife or whatever to be hanging out with someone else , going to movies , etc ? Just because the topic is fishing dosent change anything , there is an obligation to spend your time ( with a member of the opposite sex ) with your spouse or girlfriend and avoid any situation that could possibly cause doubt or suggestion. Sure , maybe the spouse is ok with it now , or atleast "says" they are but it sure is creating an opportunity for trouble later down the road.....most married men know what Im talking about. Is it really so necessary to fish with a married man or vice versa ? Or is it better to err on the side of caution , protecting your relationship and family from even the "appearance" of wrongdoing ? The decision is up to you , you have to go with your gut instinct , but the other side has a valid point too.


----------



## fishingjunkie (Aug 25, 2009)

Yonderfishin, that was what boggled my mind. Everyone is focused on the fishing aspect when in reality that has very little to do with the post. I don't believe it's the activity, but the details that surround this situation. As I already mentioned this type of situation normally just begs for trouble. (Not always, but the potential is definitely there.) 

As I already mentioned both my BF and I have friends of the opposite sex, but we don't spend much time with those friends on a one-on-one basis. It's not a trust issue, but a choice. 

This is a volatile topic, but ultimately, it's Kate's decision. There's not necessarily a right or wrong answer. It's a choice.


----------



## swantucky (Dec 21, 2004)

yonderfishin said:


> Lets take a look at it from the other side for a minute. What if it were not fishing , what if it were going out to watch movies , going to dinner , just hanging out in general ....all of these and more could be considered hobbies and fun things for like minded friends to do and could be done without any form of intimacy other than friendship. But would it be right if one or both persons were married or engaged to another ? Would you want your husband or wife or whatever to be hanging out with someone else , going to movies , etc ? Just because the topic is fishing dosent change anything , there is an obligation to spend your time ( with a member of the opposite sex ) with your spouse or girlfriend and avoid any situation that could possibly cause doubt or suggestion. Sure , maybe the spouse is ok with it now , or atleast "says" they are but it sure is creating an opportunity for trouble later down the road.....most married men know what Im talking about. Is it really so necessary to fish with a married man or vice versa ? Or is it better to err on the side of caution , protecting your relationship and family from even the "appearance" of wrongdoing ? The decision is up to you , you have to go with your gut instinct , but the other side has a valid point too.


I guess I never looked at it that way. Lets face it, fishing/hunting are male dominated sports. In my eyes it would be tough for females to find other females to go all of the time if they were really into it. Good job bringing up a perspective I had not thought about.


----------



## FISHIN216 (Mar 18, 2009)

Fishing would be considered spending time with eachother which would make you closer emotionally which could eventually become initimate if there is chemistry and the girl is attractive. now if you are going with some butch chick there prob is no issue. I find it extremely attractive when a good looking girl enjoys fishing(like my wife)..we are animals and we have instincts that are just natural..some guys dont feel this way(or they say they dont) which is BS. If my wife said she met some guy and they were gonna go fishing or out to eat I would be pissed. period. I'm not a jealous person but how embarassing would it be to have a friend come out and say that he saw your wife out with some guy..lets be real here


----------



## fishintechnician (Jul 20, 2007)

bassman2 said:


> I find this thread quite amusing. A guy can post an issue/want someone to fish with and get a few hits. But a woman post.....and wow....the guys come out of the woods. I do not know about others reading this thread, but it seemed like "male ego and testosterone" was coming out of my computor! I aske the "old fellow about fishing with girls" and he shuttered, I ask what was that all about.
> "Don't recommend it, or severly caution the guys who might!"
> "Whys that", I asked
> "When I was young and single I asked a girl to go fishin' , thinking I would impress her with my skills and ability. Needless to say, she put me to shame. Out caught me. Crushed my ego.....from that day on I vowed to never fish with another woman!!!!!"
> ...




that is one of the best posts i have read in a long time!!

When my wife and I first strated dating she was fine with me fishing at first, but then mentioned that she would like to spend more time with me but I was always gone fishing. I looked at her and handed her a pole and said that if she wanted to spend time with me she was more than welcome to come along. I didn't know what I was getting myself into!LOL I taught her the basics and she caught on really quickly, now darn near everytime we go she outfishes me. We have been fishing together for almost ten years now and I can tell she really loves it and so do I. I have also recently (past couple of years) gotten her into hunting and gotten her, her license. It is great to spend time together outdoors doing what we like to do.

What my point is, do what makes you happy. Go out and fish and enjoy yourself wheater it be with a friend or spouse or alone. Get out there and get a line wet. And if you go with a male don't worry about it. Others shouldn't judge you for your actions, and if they do you shouldn't let it bother you. I have met a couple of really good friends/fishing buddies on this site, and I have gotten alot of great advice here. In the end it is your decision so do what will make you happy.


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

:F She could always go fishing with unmarried, single men - or ladies who fish or want to learn. Then that whole homewrecker thing would be a mute point... Going fishing alone can be dangerous.


----------



## fishintechnician (Jul 20, 2007)

FISHIN216 said:


> Fishing would be considered spending time with eachother which would make you closer emotionally which could eventually become initimate if there is chemistry and the girl is attractive. now if you are going with some butch chick there prob is no issue. I find it extremely attractive when a good looking girl enjoys fishing(like my wife)..we are animals and we have instincts that are just natural..some guys dont feel this way(or they say they dont) which is BS. If my wife said she met some guy and they were gonna go fishing or out to eat I would be pissed. period. I'm not a jealous person but how embarassing would it be to have a friend come out and say that he saw your wife out with some guy..lets be real here


I agree it is attractive when a member of the oposite sex has the same likes and dislikes as you, but if you are faithfull and trust that your spouse is faithfull then it shouldn't bother you, or at the least you should be able to handle it. My wife does things like go to the bar w friends and family some are guys and some are girls. I'm fine with it because I know that she loves me and we are faithfull to each other. If she wanted to go fishing w/ someone when i wasn't able to that would be fine. Actually she has gone hunting with buddies when i wasn't able to.


Now ont he other hand if she chose to do these activities with someone else when I WAS able to go or told me I could not come with them then yeah I would be upset and would prolly think soemthing was up. But more than likely we would all go together and have a great time. I have made the offer to several of my friends wives/girlfriends to come fishing with me/us on my boat. 
To me it is nothign more than enjoying good company while doing something that I love. If you are both mature responsible adults and everyone is in agreement then you should have no problems. The problem is no one is faithfull anymore and that automatically sends everyone into a state of caution about there spouses. just seems that alot of people have trust issues and that is what needs to be dealt with. The way I look at it is if she is goign to cheat on me then she would do it regardless, why would she go fishign to do it? And saying " no you can't go" would be controlling,no one is the "boss" in a relationship you have to work together to make it work if not then you are fighting each other all the time and that is never good.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Though it is not necessarily true in every situation , a wife or husband being fully comfortable with spending time with someone else can be a warning sign. Thats what happened with my first wife. I fully trusted her and thought she would never do such a thing but some time after she started hanging out with "friends" , I caught her in an affair. I realize that this one situation does not represent everybody out there but atleast in this one instance I should have been a little more observant and maybe not so trusting of this woman who I trusted so much. Rather than being content in waiting until her and I had a chance to do things together it was so easy for her to just go out and have fun with "friends" , many times leaving the kids home with me. The moral of the story,....sometimes things are not how they look , and sometimes they are exactly how they look. People earn trust by not putting themself in a situation where integrity could be doubted.


----------



## FISHIN216 (Mar 18, 2009)

yonderfishin said:


> People earn trust by not putting themself in a situation where integrity could be doubted.


That is extremely well put. and also sometimes you have to be "controlling". IMO women need guidance. just talking about the way it really is. and great response reel lady but if you realy knew what is going through a guys head all day you would run away or better yet swim to shore


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

FISHIN216 said:


> That is extremely well put. and also sometimes you have to be "controlling". IMO women need guidance. just talking about the way it really is




Uh oh , .....that one might earn you a few choice words


----------



## fishintechnician (Jul 20, 2007)

I'm not sayign that I would just totally turn a blind eye and let her do as she pleases but I'm not a father figure either, i trust her because she has not given me a reason not to we have been together for almost ten years. Sometimes she does leave the kids with me while she goes and does stuff but that is A two way street, and we also make time for each other with no kids. I trust my wife whole heartedly and i hope she does me as well. It is a two way street and both parties will ahev to learn to compromise some what.


Now that being said I agree most women need some kind of guidance, but i am not going to give her commands unless it is absolutely necassary, which isn't very often. I guesse it is different for everyone but in my opinion you have to be somewhat flexible. And besides all those times when she wants to go do stuff just gives me an excuse to get out and wet a line


----------



## jcustunner24 (Aug 20, 2007)

kate007 said:


> It really does depend but im not asking a guy/girl to leave someone at home to come fish with me. i understand if someone cant and i hope to god they are asking if they can do it before they just go. but if they dont why take it out on the one that was invited to it?


There is some good "general" advice in this thread, but in my opinion, your description of the situation is way too vague.

What we KNOW from what you said, is that some dude invites you to go fishing and leaves his significant other at home. We also KNOW that some people, including family members of yours, have an issue with it. Other than that, a lot of the advice being given on both sides of the issue, is presumptuous. At the end of this, I'm going to be equally presumptuous.

The questions are numerous on this one.....
Is the wife/girlfriend angry?
Have you met the wife/girlfriend to clear the air? Is she ever invited? Does she know before the trip or find out after?
Does your "buddy" have a history of cheating?
Did you and your "buddy" hook up in the past?
Why is your family disapproving?

It seems from your posts that you're upset because you've been accused of doing something you're not doing and feel the blame should be on the buddy with a significant other and not you. Exes loathe mistresses as much as they loathe the husband who cheated. If you're participating in the activity and KNOW the other person is deceiving their significant other, then you share the blame.

I'm all for women fishing, and the ones on this site have more knowledge than most men I know, but the title of your thread and the actual topic aren't even close to the same. You're not really asking about women fishing, you're stating that all women who fish with men are accused of cheating/philandering. That's been proven by RedJada and ReelLady (and many others) to be untrue.

This is only MY opinion, but it seems to me that you have a bit of a guilty conscience about your behavior. Whether the relationship is, or ever will be, sexual is irrelevant. Your action is helping to cause relationship issues for another couple. If this fishing buddy is a true friend, then shouldn't your primary concern be preventing those issues rather than promoting them? 

Those saying to forget about everyone else and just go fish, remove the gender from the scenario. If you and your best friend fish every day and his wife is jealous because she never sees him, then as his friend, wouldn't you feel some responsibility to prevent that from happening?


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

All of you guys are making great points, and it's good to see that the mods have allowed it to be hashed out. Kate's got plenty to think about. It looks like she came to the right place to hear both sides. 

It doesn't matter how hard we try to say that men and women are the same creature, and should be interchangable in all situations...it's simply not true.

Personally, I kinda like women who don't want to be "one of the boys."


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Disregard , I removed this post because it could be taken out of context in a negative way.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

yonderfishin said:


> Disregard , I removed this post because it could be taken out of context in a negative way.


It wasn't that bad.

You've got it right. Yer just thinking about it too hard. It is what it is...reality.


----------



## fishingjunkie (Aug 25, 2009)

Oh, I had to respond to this comment, Wiper Swiper! I love to fish and play poker among other hobbies, but I have NO INTEREST in being "one of the boys." I like being a woman, dressing like a woman (even when I'm fishing) and acting like a lady. That shouldn't prevent me from doing activities that are predominately attended by men. 

And, yes, I know you were razzing some of us fisherwomen! 

On a final note everyone needs some type of "guidance" on different topics. Gender doesn't matter. That's as diplomatic as I can be Fishin216!  (And I have no delusions on what "may" be going on in some guys' noggins. That's why I don't put myself in the situation that is being discussed here.)


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

fishingjunkie said:


> Oh, I had to respond to this comment, Wiper Swiper! I love to fish and play poker among other hobbies, but I have NO INTEREST in being "one of the boys." I like being a woman, dressing like a woman (even when I'm fishing) and acting like a lady. That shouldn't prevent me from doing activities that are predominately attended by men.




WooHooo! best of both worlds , theres a keeper !


----------



## FISHIN216 (Mar 18, 2009)

fishintechnician said:


> Now that being said I agree most women need some kind of guidance, but i am not going to give her commands unless it is absolutely necassary, which isn't very often. I guesse it is different for everyone but in my opinion you have to be somewhat flexible. And besides all those times when she wants to go do stuff just gives me an excuse to get out and wet a line


i have been with my wife since highschool. thats 9 years and we are great together and I am not controlling but there comes a point when a MAN has to put his foot down and be "the boss". I think women like when a man gets to the point and does'nt be one of those "whipped" guys. She goes out with friends from work and I always know where she is and who she is with. she is my best friend and I care about her more than anyone and I dont want to see her end up on forensic files. and ya when she tells me she is going out its just another opportunity to go out and do some night fishing. but fishing with another female just would'nt seem right to me or her


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

I recommend that Kate makes a decision - let the persons involved in her "situation" know - and then move on. Time to start over again.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Chrominator said:


> Would it be alright if a divorced Hells Angel wanted to go trolling with a Nun?


Does the Pope wear a big hat? 

Nobody said it wasn't alright...they said it was a bad idea. Big difference.


----------



## Chrominator (Oct 11, 2007)

Wiper Swiper said:


> Nobody said it wasn't alright...


Really? From the little that I've read, just about every angle was covered.


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

WOW i never thought this would get this far. Im happy that soo many people are stating what you think about this. either way i would wish he would have told his girlfriend or i would have never went. but you learn as it happens. plus nothing ever happened and it was for like a whole half hour. which looking back on it wasnt worth it. Either way im over it and next time i will talk things out better, or just not go. Plus never took any post as some one was being rude because its what you think and feel and im happy you can put it out there. 

There shouldnt be soo much darama in fishing. fishing is to be relaxing not so crazy.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

kate007 said:


> WOW i never thought this would get this far. Im happy that soo many people are stating what you think about this. either way i would wish he would have told his girlfriend or i would have never went. but you learn as it happens. plus nothing ever happened and it was for like a whole half hour. which looking back on it wasnt worth it. Either way im over it and next time i will talk things out better, or just not go. Plus never took any post as some one was being rude because its what you think and feel and im happy you can put it out there.
> 
> There shouldnt be soo much darama in fishing. fishing is to be relaxing not so crazy.


Good reply Kate , and I dont think anybody here meant anything negative , its great that you dont take it that way. And you are right , there shouldnt be so much drama in fishing. But its been an interesting thread , thank you for starting it and keeping some of us bored folks entertained for a little while.


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

:F I'm starting to feel like a Relationship Counselor!


----------



## kate007 (Feb 5, 2010)

lol yea it was kind of fun to come home from work and read what everyone thought. Thank you all for your input.


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

kate007 said:


> lol yea it was kind of fun to come home from work and read what everyone thought. Thank you all for your input.


Yah, we're just one big, dysfunctional family!


----------



## steelheadBob (Jul 6, 2004)

Jigging Jim said:


> Yah, we're just one big, dysfunctional family!


dysfunctional = fishermen................... LOL


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

kate007 said:


> WOW i never thought this would get this far. Im happy that soo many people are stating what you think about this. either way i would wish he would have told his girlfriend or i would have never went.
> 
> There shouldnt be soo much darama in fishing. fishing is to be relaxing not so crazy.


I don't know how old you are Kate, or really anything about you. But I know how a responsible person who isn't interested in any monkey business would handle this situation.

If I were a girl in your shoes, I'd make cetain it was me who asked the girlfriend/wife if it's OK. If I wasn't comfortable doing that, than I know I shouldn't be going. And if the guy I was going with isn't comfortable asking ahead of time, than I know he is definitely up to monkey business. Why would he hide it if he wasn't?

And it sounds like you were originally waffling on whether or not to continue this fishing relationship, even after fidning out that his chick is unhappy.
There's no black and white, you obviously can't continue.

And you're wondering why you're getting so much drama around this? Really?


----------



## bopperattacker (Sep 12, 2008)

Bubbagon said:


> And you're wondering why you're getting so much drama around this? Really?


Dude. aren't you married??? You should know this, all women LOOOOOOVE DRAMA.. Without it, their lives wouldn't be complete!!!!!


----------



## jennis9 (Jun 13, 2008)

bopperattacker said:


> You should know this, all women LOOOOOOVE DRAMA.. Without it, their lives wouldn't be complete!!!!!



UUhhhhhh, with 86 posts in response to a vague statement and NOT the whole story, looks like the GUYS are winning on the drama front here. 

If you don't feel like reading ALL 86 responses, here's a general idea:
[Kate, plug your ears for a minute... if you haven't guessed this is a little poke back at the boys]

Kate: 
"I quit. This sucks"

Guys: 
"OH, I'll help you! I'll take you fishing!!!!"
"As long as you're legal"
"Oooooh, NO ME! I'll take her!"
"Don't quit, Kate"
"Who cares what anyone else thinks!"
"Do your own thing" 
"You're welcome on my boat anytime"
"Women need some guidance"
"Use your head and make a good choice" 
"If you look like a [male] then it would be OK, who could be tempted?" (Yup, saw that one before it was erased)

So, maybe we shouldn't so easily lump all women in as drama queens.... you sound like a bunch of clucking chicks! It's funny to see all of you tripping over each other for _three pages_ to opine on a situation you have little facts on - you didn't even ask what she likes to fish for! I find it funny.

On the flip side... It's good to see all of us having a lighthearted but honest discussion. Fishing IS a masculine sport - and I think RedJaja, Reel Lady are right on. fishingjunkie said it best for me, some women just don't want to be one of the boys but they want to enjoy fishing.


----------



## anglermama (Mar 12, 2010)

I fish with guy friends all the time...my husband does not mind one bit, and actually prefers it when I am in the river during walleye season. I hunt with one of our buddies as well. It is nice when I have to drag a deer a distance or when I am throwing it in the back of the truck!  I also hunt and fish with these guys girlfriends and have no issue with them hunting/fishing with my hubby. Having three kids, the hubby and I can not always enjoy these activities together, and to be honest it is great that he is more than willing to be with the kids so I can do these things. Heck he didn't even step foot in the river once this past year, and I was fishing it as often as I could! I see no problem with hunting or fishing with the oppisite sex, as long as you are open and honest about it. 
That being said....Kate...if you happen to be in NW ohio...PM me, I am always looking for someone to fish with!


----------



## jcustunner24 (Aug 20, 2007)

jennis9 said:


> this is a little poke back at the boys


Just make sure you're not poking back at every one of the guys. You and I seem to have a pretty similar opinion.


----------



## jennis9 (Jun 13, 2008)

Nope, JC, just makin a statement about *drama* -- *and only in jest*. Just struck me as funny.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Okay, but this isnt drama. Taking 20 minutes to get ready to go grocery shopping , and then stopping to look at almost every single item in the store whether you need it or not while making comments about how you need some new shoes or what so and so does with her coupons.....not thats Drama!


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

Jennis,
What she is involved with is drama. Real drama. Break up relationships drama.
In no way does that equate to a guy like me posting a 3 minute statement pointing out the obvious.

It's no matter whether she's a man or a woman. If a man and a woman are spending time together and one of their spouses/girlfriends is not aware of that time, that's an issue plain and simple and that story always ends poorly.

I have more respect for my wife and the spouses of my friends than to particpate in such shady situations.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

kate007 said:


> lol yea it was kind of fun to come home from work and read what everyone thought. Thank you all for your input.


Glad you enjoyed it!

As for the rest of you, if we're going to meet my prediction of 5 pages in that awesome #19 post...keep the drama flowing!


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

This thread wasn't worth anything until you jumped in Bill. You crack me up.

BTW, I just got back from fishing with a hottie over on the GMR. Oh, and nice house you got there!


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

I don't believe there's actually enough drama to get to 5 pages or is there?


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Bubbagon said:


> This thread wasn't worth anything until you jumped in Bill. You crack me up.
> 
> BTW, I just got back from fishing with a hottie over on the GMR. Oh, and nice house you got there!


You came this far and didn't even honk on the way by???

Behind my back, out whorring around in my kitchen...why...you purty little...

Hope you slayed 'em!


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

I ate the last piece out of your bucket of chicken too.
Sorry, I was ravenous.


----------



## bopperattacker (Sep 12, 2008)

jennis9 said:


> UUhhhhhh, with 86 posts in response to a vague statement and NOT the whole story, looks like the GUYS are winning on the drama front here.


HEY NOW.................. Bababooey. I was just saying in general, and in general I was 100% joking... There's more male drama queens on the OGF than female...


----------



## Reel Lady (Jul 4, 2004)

yonderfishin said:


> I fully trusted her and thought she would never do such a thing but some time after she started hanging out with "friends" , I caught her in an affair. I realize that this one situation does not represent everybody out there but at least in this one instance I should have been a little more observant and maybe not so trusting of this woman who I trusted so much.


I truly am sorry to hear that your wife had been unfaithful. But here is a question for you. Do you believe that if you didnt trust her like you did, that she never would have had an affair?



yonderfishin said:


> People earn trust by not putting themself in a situation where integrity could be doubted.


I totally disagree, and believe that trust is born out of the complete opposite. I believe that people earn trust by being in a situation where integrity could be doubted, and end up proving that they are completely trustworthy by NOT engaging in the behaviors that others were so quick to predict they would. 
This next statement is not directed at you Younderfishin, it is just my thought on the whole trust issue that exists in many relationships. 
You cannot be with your spouse or significant other 24 hours a day to monitor their every move. The truth is that an affair could arise from just about any innocent situation you could imagine. It could be the UPS driver, the carpet cleaners, the flirtatious guy in the car next to me at a stop light, my college professor, my co-worker, my neighbor, my girlfriends husband, the cashier, my waiter, etc. 
So if I avoided situations where my integrity could be doubted, then I would decline all UPS deliveries, never get my carpets cleaned, never drive my car, never go to school, never get a job, never meet or talk to my neighbors, have no couples as friends, never go shopping, never go out to eat, etc. Basically, in order for me to avoid any contact with men that could possibly lead to trouble or question my integrity, Youd have to lock me in a closet and throw away the key. 
The result? There may be a sense of relief knowing that zero opportunities exist for me to be unfaithful. Me? Id be miserable, lonely, resentful and depressed for being denied the right to participate in activities that I enjoy because of my partners insecurities and trust issues. 



FISHIN216 said:


> And also sometimes you have to be "controlling". IMO women need guidance. just talking about the way it really is.


ROFL. This is not the 50s anymore, although Im sure that there are still those that feel the need to control or be controlled by their partner. Hopefully they will find each other. 
And, from my experience there are times when everyone could benefit from a little gentle guidance, be it Man or Woman. 



FISHIN216 said:


> Great response reel lady but if you realy knew what is going through a guys head all day you would run away or better yet swim to shore


Here is the scoop on that thought. They can think any thought they want, I dont care as their thoughts do not affect me. From the start, I make it very clear that I am all about fishing, and have NO other intentions or desires. My male fishing friends respect me as an angler as well as a woman, just as I respect them and their significant other or spouse if one exists. So basically, I am not going to avoid fishing with a guy because he may have some stray thoughts. I cannot control his thoughts, I can only control mine. His thoughts have no bearing on our ability to fish together, providing that he never chooses to act out on his thoughts. 
Honesty is very important here. Not just being honest with others, but being honest with yourself at all. If someone fears that they could not control their thoughts or actions if they were to go fishing with me, then they would be wise to skip on the invitation. Its also critical that if there are any spouses or significant others in the picture, that they are aware of what is going on. If a guy chooses to hide the fact that he is going fishing with me, that is NOT okay, and that would be a HUGE red flag regarding his intentions. Obviously, if there was nothing to hide and no ulterior motives, there would be no problem in telling her. And if for any reason she was very uncomfortable with the situation, I would talk to her myself and let her know my intentions and do whatever I could possibly do to help ease her feelings. 



Iowa Dave said:


> I told my fiance' Marsha about this and she agreed that I should ask Kate next time I was up on Erie if she wanted to go. I have extended that invitation to Kate thru a PM. We both thought it crazy for others to think anything other than what it is for someone who has a boat offering another who does not an open seat and the chance to fish someplace they have never been.
> Iowa Dave


Hats off to you and your fiance Marsha &#61514;



yonderfishin said:


> Or is it better to err on the side of caution , protecting your relationship and family from even the "appearance" of wrongdoing ?


If I erred on the side of caution, then I would basically have no life. I am completely trustworthy and would absolutely refuse to live my life and base my decisions on someone elses issues with jealousy or lack of trust. 



fishingjunkie said:


> As I already mentioned this type of situation normally just begs for trouble. (Not always, but the potential is definitely there.


Life in general just begs for trouble, unless of course you live in a cage. 



swantucky said:


> Lets face it, fishing/hunting are male dominated sports. In my eyes it would be tough for females to find other females to go all of the time if they were really into it.


Exactly. That is why I am doing all that I can to get young ladies fishing 



Jigging Jim said:


> :F She could always go fishing with unmarried, single men - or ladies who fish or want to learn. Then that whole homewrecker thing would be a mute point... Going fishing alone can be dangerous.


But that would only be giving in to others insecurities and lack of trust. These people need to trust that their partner could be in these situations, and still come home to them, and only them. 
Also, the thought of being labeled a Homewrecker does not sit well with me. If a home is wrecked, it would not be my doing. It would be because he failed to be honest with his spouse/girlfriend. That, is NOT my problem. Now, if I was to find this to be the situation, I would stop fishing with him, because I have no desire to associate myself with people of this character, nor would I want to end up in the middle of something ugly, where I am completely innocent, and never had the knowledge that he did not tell her in the first place. 



fishintechnician said:


> I agree most women need some kind of guidance, but i am not going to give her commands unless it is absolutely necassary, which isn't very often.


Most PEOPLE need guidance throughout different times of their life. This is not a woman thing, as I have known plenty of guys that needed some serious guidance because they were thinking with a particular anatomical feature, and NOT with their BRAINS, like most women do ;-) 



Wiper Swiper said:


> It doesn't matter how hard we try to say that men and women are the same creature, and should be interchangable in all situations...it's simply not true. Personally, I kinda like women who don't want to be "one of the boys."


I have never felt like I wanted to be one of the boys, and to be quite honest, I embrace the fact that I am a woman. But as far as interests and hobbies, men that share the same interests as me can talk my talk. They understand and can relate to me just as I understand and can relate to them. 
But, I do know that there are other women like me out there, like the 200+ other women who fished in the Womens Bassmaster Tour. Unfortunately, they are just few and far between. So its not that I prefer to be friends with men over women, I just prefer to be friends with people that share my same passions. 



bopperattacker said:


> You should know this, all women LOOOOOOVE DRAMA.. Without it, their lives wouldn't be complete!!!!!


Not this girl. I hate drama


----------



## steelheadBob (Jul 6, 2004)

So Marci, tell us whats on your mind!!!! LOL  Just kidding, very good response!!%!%!%


----------



## Lundy (Apr 5, 2004)

I'm putting a closure time limit of January 1, 2011, 250 posts , or 10 inappropriate posts, which ever comes first

If anyone elects to participate in too many of the 10 inappropriate posts, appropriate actions will result

I would accept any guidance that is offered on this subject. I am not a female but do have a girls name

Thanks,
Kim


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Reel Lady said:


> I have never felt like I wanted to be one of the boys, and to be quite honest, I embrace the fact that I am a woman. But as far as interests and hobbies, men that share the same interests as me can talk &#8220;my&#8221; talk. They understand and can relate to me just as I understand and can relate to them.
> But, I do know that there are other women like me out there, like the 200+ other women who fished in the Women&#8217;s Bassmaster Tour. Unfortunately, they are just few and far between. So it&#8217;s not that I prefer to be friends with men over women, I just prefer to be friends with people that share my same passions.
> 
> 
> Not this girl. I hate drama


First off...I am so stoked by the length of your post that after we get done quoting it, I'm upping my 5 page estimate to 7 pages. 

When you come back, you come back with a bang. 

I've fished with female co-anglers. Some of the most uncomfortable angling I've done. I guess I'm a pig.

I appreciate the drama, but you and I have a zero chance of fishing together. My wife would make me pay.

Maybe she's a nut...but, I do love her. Your passion for the craft is admirable. Unfortunately, it doesn't apply to Kate's particular dilemma.

Peace.


----------



## FSHNERIE (Mar 5, 2005)

I Agree Lundy......


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Lundy said:


> I would accept any guidance that is offered on this subject. I am not a female but do have a girls name
> 
> Thanks,
> Kim


Bravo! THAT was funny!


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

Reel Lady's got Carpal Tunnel now!


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

Wiper, of course you're a pig. But for reasons not covered in this thread.

Lundy, you're funny.

Good luck Kate-Agent-007.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Wiper Swiper said:


> First off...I am so stoked by the length of your post that after we get done quoting it, I'm upping my 5 page estimate to 7 pages.
> 
> When you come back, you come back with a bang.
> 
> ...


Shoot fishing with some female friends of mine is way more comfortable and relaxing..They dont kill me with farts,they dont try and pee on my truck tires and laugh about it,they usually bring their kids so thats fun,they give way better advice to me about relationships then my guy friends do,and they always always always have tylenol lol..So I dont mind fishing with girls..All of them were well liked by my girlfriends..I never once look at any of them like they are a piece of meat just cause we have different "parts" lol..I see and respect them for being good friends that like to fish or shoot with me..But a few have some sisters that are a different story all together lol..But thats some stuff I might send to penthouse...


----------



## FISHIN216 (Mar 18, 2009)

Reel Lady said:


> I truly am sorry to hear that your wife had been unfaithful. But here is a question for you. Do you believe that if you didn&#8217;t trust her like you did, that she never would have had an affair?
> 
> 
> I totally disagree, and believe that trust is born out of the complete opposite. I believe that people earn trust by being in a situation where integrity could be doubted, and end up proving that they are completely trustworthy by NOT engaging in the behaviors that others were so quick to predict they would.
> ...


I respect you 100% but all your argument said is that it is OK for women to enjoy fishing(which it is) I talk to a few women fisherman I see in my normal spots alot and I do not look at them any differently then male fisherman. It was never about that. It is about a trust issue and It is 100% fact and you could probably do a study on it. when a married women is seeing another man to be alone with or spend time with in any way(not the 30 seconds you see the UPS guy, the cashier, that guy at the red light)get real you are spending time with an unrelated member of the opposite sex in a sometimes intimate setting. THINGS COULD HAPPEN. its called nature somebody is going to slip up eventually. Trust me its not like the 50's in my household. as a matter of fact I do most of the cleaning and cooking in my house(not joking) sorry for quoting the whole deal


----------



## jcustunner24 (Aug 20, 2007)

Great post Reel Lady, aka Marcia, but comparing you to the original poster isn't fair or accurate. This topic had designs built for drama. No offense to the OP, but I firmly believe from reading your posts, Marcia, that you would never put yourself in an even remotely similar position. I am sure Kate is a wonderful person, but this situation has never been about "fishing just for guys" and has been entirely about fishing with a guy behind his girls back and figuring out where the blame lies. To me, there is no "you go girl" involved here and plenty "oh no girl." 

You, Marcia, are a PRO, and should be proud. This situation is shady at best.


----------



## bassman2 (Jul 14, 2007)

Reel Lady said "it's not the fifties any more", true, but what a shame it's not. And what I'm refering to is one of the basic moral issues of this post.....married man fishing with another woman......
Some might say we've progressed, but we haven't...we've digressed as a culture. Compare the 50's TV to TV of today. Todays TV is predominatly sex and violence. We do not hold the same values of honor and integrity today. The reason a married man should not fish "spend casual time with" another woman , isn't neccessarily a matter of trust....but HONOR! You do not put your name, your families name in jepardy of gossip and slander by those who see but maybe do not understand.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

bassman2 said:


> Reel Lady said "it's not the fifties any more", true, but what a shame it's not. And what I'm refering to is one of the basic moral issues of this post.....married man fishing with another woman......
> Some might say we've progressed, but we haven't...we've digressed as a culture. Compare the 50's TV to TV of today. Todays TV is predominatly sex and violence. We do not hold the same values of honor and integrity today. The reason a married man should not fish "spend casual time with" another woman , isn't neccessarily a matter of trust....but HONOR! You do not put your name, your families name in jepardy of gossip and slander by those who see but maybe do not understand.


I see some of your points,but not others..I do wish it was the 50's though..I think most women of my generation (1984 - current) leave a lot to be desired,not all,but alot...But I dont see your point on the honor thing...You have random strangers,and people that you know...Who cares about strangers..And people who know you will know what the situation is...So I really dont see how thats a big deal...I would never drop a 100% sure bet on a good female friend,for a 50% chance of having a good girlfriend...Friends stay,but lovers come and go...


----------



## bassman2 (Jul 14, 2007)

First, I stated married, opposed to single. Second, I stated, casual opposed to professional. When a married man esteems his name, character and marriage....he DOES NOT cavelierly behave in a manner that can bring disrepute to him or his family. Even the most innocent conduct can start the gossip flying. It is the stranger, the casual aquaintance, who give the slander wings.....and once it takes flight it cannot be captured and put back it its cage. Your wife and kids may very well know you are an honorable man, but that does not stop the "sardonic grins" of those who get pleasure from evil and bringing good men down to their level. Avoid the "appearance" of evil!


----------



## back lash (Sep 13, 2008)

I am gone for a week and come back to 115 post's on this thread. The funny thing is that the person she is talking about didnt have the nerve to be one of those 115 that left a reply.(Sorry I didnt tell you that my girlfriend was going to loose her mind over nothing)..( Sorry I didnt tell her that we were going fishing together)...(Sorry I told you that she was an EX,when she wasnt)..any of these would have worked.

For those of you who dont know Kate007(all of you)here is a quick description: she is an awesome person who would never do anything to hurt a relationship. She likes to fish,but knows very little about some species of fish. She is NOT a tom-boy. She is funny,smart,and if you catch her on a good day, she is a smarta$$. She is over 18( Lol ) . She is just a young ladie that likes to fish but doesnt get any tips from guys because she is a lady, and ladies dont know how to fish...lol...(that was a joke).

I agree that meeting up with people online is kinda dangerouse,but thats how I know her...I should say WE know her..my wife knows her also. A few of us were talking on the OGF chat and she chimed in with a simlpe "hi" and the rest is history. She comes fishing with a few of us at "the pond" and is a pleasant person to fish with. the reason she asked for opinions on this subject is because she finds fishing with someone an inocent action...and it is. If you guys had the chance to meet her, you would like her company on a trip out fishing also....Just my 2 cents...B.L.


----------



## fishingjunkie (Aug 25, 2009)

This entire thread is nothing but "opinions" and it's crazy that some people believe their opinion is right and others are wrong. And love the comments on partial quotes. I can't read this anymore. It's giving me a headache and the drama is killing me.


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

This thread is great.

I'm sure Kate is a nice girl. But c'mon, this is silly.
The a-hole here is the dude who lied to his girlfriend and also lied to Kate about having a girlfriend. Plain and simple.

So why is Kate so confused as to why this chick was mad? It sounds like she caught her boyfriend in a lie that involves spending time with another girl. Of course she's peesed.

_"the reason she asked for opinions on this subject is because she finds fishing with someone an inocent action...and it is"_
Phooey!! That's BS. This has ntohing to do with fishing. They could have been at the movies together (an innocent action), getting a bite to eat together (innocent action).
The problem is the lying and deception from this one particular dude. That's it.

I have no idea why someone would share such an obscure story on a fishing message board other than to be seeking some kind of consensus acceptance from strangers who don't know you.

But don't let that fact slow anybody down. This is great. And we have at least one page to go.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Reel Lady said:


> I truly am sorry to hear that your wife had been unfaithful. But here is a question for you. Do you believe that if you didn&#8217;t trust her like you did, that she never would have had an affair?
> 
> 
> I totally disagree, and believe that trust is born out of the complete opposite. I believe that people earn trust by being in a situation where integrity could be doubted, and end up proving that they are completely trustworthy by NOT engaging in the behaviors that others were so quick to predict they would.
> ...



First of all , the point is not that I trusted her , but that her willingness to go out a lot without me should have been a warning sign , and the message was to the guys who say their wife goes out with other men regularly to go fishing or whatever and they "trust" completely as well.

Secondly , its ridiculous to think trust is earned by repeatedly putting yourself in situations where your integrity could be doubted...whether anything happens or not. You dont earn trust by putting yourself in a possibly compromising situation and then feeling proud of yourself because you didnt go as far as you could have. You earn real trust from another by showing you are not interested in a possibly compromising situation in the first place. You think that by showing your husband or boyfriend that you "could have" crossed a line but you didnt is really building trust ? The fact that you "could have" in the first place means you were closer than you should have been and does not help your trust situation in the long run. And ,....there is a huge difference between waiting on a UPS delivery , driving your car , or any of the other things you mention and deliberately going somewhere with a married person and spending time together just the two of you .....you are being really unrealistic with your comparisons. Im not trying to lecture you , just replying to your answer since I believe you were looking for a reply. Otherwise I would have let the subject drop.

If you "erred on the side of caution" you would never have needed to even post this reply because you wouldnt feel the need to justify anything.


----------



## bopperattacker (Sep 12, 2008)

I think I could be the first one to say. EPIC THREAD... this gets thread of the week FO SHO... FOOOOOOOOO SHOOOOOOOOO


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

WooHoo!! 5 pages!!!!

Now I'm gonna go and become a millionaire and launch my AshleyMadison.com for outdoorsmen/women.
The whole concept is genious. It comes with it's own built in alibi. 
"What do you mean, honey, we were just fishing."
"Huh? All we were doing was camping."
"Nope. Just canoeing together for the weekend."

I'm a friggin genious... despite what my wife says.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Bubbagon said:


> And we have at least one page to go.


Where in the heck is page 5! Sheesh!

When I said co-angler last night, I meant tournament fishing cause that's what Marcia was talking about. Couldn't pee off the back of the boat...had to watch my potty mouth...couldn't tell a joke unless it was one of those knock/knock 2nd grade variety...couldn't yell "look at the lungs on that one!"...it sucked.

Iraqvet, that's WHY I fish with the boys!

The longest fart is always funny. The binocs in the boat ain't for looking at the osprey. My pee can is graduated in ounces...because, with men, EVERYTHING'S a contest. Hooking a water snake is hilarious if it scares a guy...I think it's a criminal offense if there's a chick in the boat.

Men and women NEED time away from each other. I think I just figured out another reason why I fish. It's a time to be course, crude...pig like. That way it's out of my system by the time I get back to the wife!


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

I see it now! WHEW!

OK...I'm done.


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

Ahhhhhh, now there the essence of swine I was referring to.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Bubbagon said:


> WooHoo!! 5 pages!!!!
> 
> Now I'm gonna go and become a millionaire and launch my AshleyMadison.com for outdoorsmen/women.
> The whole concept is genious. It comes with it's own built in alibi.
> ...




Well,....according to some , married people can go out and do whatever they want with whomever they want anytime they want to and its totally acceptable , if their spouse has a problem with it then apparently they have a trust issue and its their problem not yours.  I know you are kidding.


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

BTW Yonder, I do agree with your general point.

Very early in my marriage, I used to bartend a couple nights a week so we could save up for a house. Bartending and marriage don't go together too well.
I never did anything inappropriate, but I was in several situations that were certainly inapprpriate.
I learned soon after that, that it's about respect. Respect for my wife. That if I couldn't behave as if she was right besdie me, I probably shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
And also that "situational perception" is indeed important. That if I truly respected my wife I wouldn't want to put myself in situations that would even appear inappropriate or embarrassing to her.


----------



## Mushijobah (May 4, 2004)

Bubbagon said:


> Very early in my marriage, I used to bartend a couple nights a week so we could save up for a house. Bartending and marriage don't go together too well.
> I never did anything inappropriate, but I was in several situations that were certainly inapprpriate.
> I learned soon after that, that it's about respect. Respect for my wife. That if I couldn't behave as if she was right besdie me, I probably shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
> And also that "situational perception" is indeed important. That if I truly respected my wife I wouldn't want to put myself in situations that would even appear inappropriate or embarrassing to her.



Now these are some words of wisdom that I'll be taking home with me for a little later in life. Great way of looking at it.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Wiper Swiper said:


> Where in the heck is page 5! Sheesh!
> 
> When I said co-angler last night, I meant tournament fishing cause that's what Marcia was talking about. Couldn't pee off the back of the boat...had to watch my potty mouth...couldn't tell a joke unless it was one of those knock/knock 2nd grade variety...couldn't yell "look at the lungs on that one!"...it sucked.
> 
> ...


Well I can start by assuring you that peeing off the boat or down by the river is not just for boys!!...My female friends dont care what I say when in regards to another woman's assets..Yeah its fun with th guys..But I would never turn down a trip with my female friends..Heck I even took some girls out on a first date to go fishing...They all liked it..Yeah men and women do need time apart,thats true..But I couldnt have a wife that never wanted to fish or shooting with me...


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

This is ALWAYS a tricky subject to talk about because the implications go much further than most of us are willing to admit. I am sure this next statement will draw some criticism but through my own experience and the experience of many friends and family members , not to mention counseling, I can say with pretty good confidence that anyone and everyone could be tempted to cheat , given the right circumstances and time. Not that everyone would act on the temptation , but under certain circumstances its almost guaranteed that the temptation would come up atleast for one of the people involved. Ive seen too many couples who love each other split up or divorce because of it and the biggest common denominator was time spent away from each other and with someone else. We are all human and nobody is completely immune to it in spite of good intentions or thoughts that it would never happen to us . If you disagree , thats fine , and this bit of information dosent pertain to you. But if you find yourself in agreement , even partially , then you would also have to admit that hanging out alone with someone elses husband or wife / girlfriend or boyfriend , fishing or not , is not very smart. It willingly and deliberately puts one or both involved in a possible game of russian roulette , by choice nonetheless. Silly to do when it is so easy to just avoid the situation.


----------



## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

:F This thread needs to end. I wish we could have this much interest concerning our Trash Clean-ups! Good luck in whatever decision you make, Kate.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

yonderfishin said:


> This is ALWAYS a tricky subject to talk about because the implications go much further than most of us are willing to admit. I am sure this next statement will draw some criticism but through my own experience and the experience of many friends and family members , not to mention counseling, I can say with pretty good confidence that anyone and everyone could be tempted to cheat , given the right circumstances and time. Not that everyone would act on the temptation , but under certain circumstances its almost guaranteed that the temptation would come up atleast for one of the people involved. Ive seen too many couples who love each other split up or divorce because of it and the biggest common denominator was time spent away from each other and with someone else. We are all human and nobody is completely immune to it in spite of good intentions or thoughts that it would never happen to us . If you disagree , thats fine , and this bit of information dosent pertain to you. But if you find yourself in agreement , even partially , then you would also have to admit that hanging out alone with someone elses husband or wife / girlfriend or boyfriend , fishing or not , is not very smart. It willingly and deliberately puts one or both involved in a possible game of russian roulette , by choice nonetheless. Silly to do when it is so easy to just avoid the situation.


I agree about about people and their temptations sometimes..But I think its person specific...I have my type of girls...Outside them I really dont have to urge to screw anything that walks just cause they are a woman and I am a man..But saying two people who are alone together will cheat is not a scientific fact..If thats your opinion, I understand and respect it...But lets say you meet a woman and want to date her..Come to find out she works as an accountant at a factory with another another guy in a tiny little office and no one bothers them..Whould you tell her to quite or tell her boss to hire another woman,or just tell her you cant be with her??..


----------



## Bubbagon (Mar 8, 2010)

Some of the "logic" used here eludes me.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Iraqvet said:


> I agree about about people and their temptations sometimes..But I think its person specific...I have my type of girls...Outside them I really dont have to urge to screw anything that walks just cause they are a woman and I am a man..But saying two people who are alone together will cheat is not a scientific fact..If thats your opinion, I understand and respect it...But lets say you meet a woman and want to date her..Come to find out she works as an accountant at a factory with another another guy in a tiny little office and no one bothers them..Whould you tell her to quite or tell her boss to hire another woman,or just tell her you cant be with her??..



Not so much scientific fact as it the nature of the beast , and usually pretty much accepted as truth by most who have experience with it. To answer your question , the two people work together and in a small office but not by choice so the situation is different . However if they both chose to work as much overtime as possible even when not necessary or to go fishing together after work then I might develop a problem with it. 
You might have your type of girls and not really interested in any other but can you truthfully say you have NEVER thought about it around any others ? I dont think theres a man alive that can say that without lying.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Me thinks me see a stop sign ahead.But all in all it's been an interesting read.We have opinions all over the board and we are still at "To each Their own"

Good Luck Kate sorting it all out,but just fish,fish and fish some more.The world is confusing enough,go fish & relax.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

It has been a fun topic ,and just about everybody has had a chance to add to it. I dont think it has gotten out of hand or anything , but interest in it is starting to wane anyway so it will probably all come to an end on its own here shortly. To each their own.


----------



## jennis9 (Jun 13, 2008)

Post #1 -- in case anyone forgot where it all started. 

I have to say some portions of this thread belong on a Jerry Springer show, many make sense and are intelligently written, but I still think the _original_ was so vague that it surprises me that there are 136 responses and so many pages. <scratches head>


----------



## saugeyesam (Apr 20, 2004)

jennis9 said:


> Post #1 -- in case anyone forgot where it all started.
> 
> I have to say some portions of this thread belong on a Jerry Springer show, many make sense and are intelligently written, but I still think the _original_ was so vague that it surprises me that there are 136 responses and so many pages. <scratches head>


Was thinking the same thing..... When I read this the word Trolling came to mind. So I will say this, don't stop fishing because you think it's only for guys. My sister fishes and even helps with my tournaments every year and is respected by everyone who has met her, male and female. She fishes with other guys and her boyfriend isn't bothered by it because he is comfortable and secure in their relationship because him and my sister are both mature adults. But most of the people she fishes with are people he fishes with and we were all fortunate enough to have gone to school and grown up together. The best thing to do is surround yourself with people who live a drama free life. If you insist on wanting to fish with a man, maybe it's best to find one that is single to avoid the problem you're having now. Or find a couple that fishes together and ask to tag along introduce yourself and get to know each other it will make your trips more enjoyable and stress free. Now that being said I think you should stay a member of this site because there really is a wealth of knowledge to found here, you may not find a fishing buddy but you will at least learn new tactics, places, baits, and much more that you can apply to your outings. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


----------



## bopperattacker (Sep 12, 2008)

sadly.. I can relate to the ORIGINAL POSTER Kate007 or whateva.... I play a lot of tennis. Pretty much I play tennis,fish, and sit in my office cube.. I play against a former BGSU womens college player once a week that I've known since I've been like 10.. My ex always gave me crap. She even came to watch us play numerous times, and it was nothing but a friendly best of 3 sets game... Sometimes it's the partner, and you just have to do what ever you want to do, and what makes you happy.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

bopperattacker said:


> sadly.. I can relate to the ORIGINAL POSTER Kate007 or whateva.... I play a lot of tennis. Pretty much I play tennis,fish, and sit in my office cube.. I play against a former BGSU womens college player once a week that I've known since I've been like 10.. My ex always gave me crap. She even came to watch us play numerous times, and it was nothing but a friendly best of 3 sets game... Sometimes it's the partner, and you just have to do what ever you want to do, and what makes you happy.


Exactly..No one should control someone else's life based on what if's..I would never let a woman tell me I cant hang out with anyone thats female besides her...My female friends are the same way with me...I feel bad for some wives on here cause I could only imagine what kind of life they live locked down 24/7 at home...This thread got to carried away with what ifs and taking the situation out of context...


----------



## FISHIN216 (Mar 18, 2009)

You can call it "controlling" when really its just getting your way. just cause you want her to do what you want and can make that happen . what is the problem? If you think she is putting herself in a shady position and can talk her out of it does that make you controlling?? and ya 50's TV was nice but it was a bunch of BS. people could still beat there kids bloody back then..but you dont see that on HAPPY DAYS. the 50's were violent as hell. go look at the records. its a perception. the news just only wants to cover sex and violence now a days because PEOPLE WATCH IT!! and It really does not count with girls that you have known since you were a kid because you are locked into the friend zone


----------



## bassman2 (Jul 14, 2007)

In the 50's the two most common problems in school was "talking in class" and "chewing gum". The divorce rate was in the teens, and children born out of wedlock was practically nil. Were there problems then....yes....but the moral code was much better....aborting babies and std's wasn't rampant. todays moral climate.....it's in the sewer. Fishing's the same, but the equiptment is much much better!


----------



## fallen513 (Jan 5, 2010)

bassman2 said:


> In the 50's the two most common problems in school was "talking in class" and "chewing gum". The divorce rate was in the teens, and children born out of wedlock was practically nil. Were there problems then....yes....but the moral code was much better....aborting babies and std's wasn't rampant. todays moral climate.....it's in the sewer. Fishing's the same, but the equiptment is much much better!




Exactly. We've been infiltrated by mongrels that have ruined society. Those b*[email protected]!


----------



## Reel Man (Jul 4, 2004)

I&#8217;ll weigh in on several points that have been brought up in this thread. I agree with some of the points and disagree with others.
Agree: 

That if you are fishing with someone of the opposite sex that does not tell their significant other the situation has a bad smell to it and it&#8217;s best to avoid it.
Relationships are a matter of respect. Don&#8217;t ever involve yourself in a situation that makes your significant other uncomfortable or that you would be uncomfortable with them doing.
Men can be pigs as demonstrated by some of the posts on this thread. I understand someone in their 60s or older struggling with what is the role of a man vs. a woman in our society. They were raised in a different generation. There is however no excuse for someone younger than that to carry on like they are one step removed from some of the 3rd World Countries that treat women like second class citizens. Of course some of you guilty of those types of comments will claim you are just trying to be funny but here&#8217;s a tip for you, &#8220;Don&#8217;t quit your day jobs because you are neither cute or funny&#8221;. That&#8217;s the kind of &#8220;funny&#8221; you get from grade school kids that haven&#8217;t matured and honed their social skills. 
Men will often think inappropriate thingsthey don&#8217;t express verbally. I&#8217;m not responsible for anyone&#8217;s thoughts but my own and no woman is responsible for what any guy might be thinking or wishing. That&#8217;s on the guy. We seem to lack the ability to take personal responsibilities for our own short comings it seems. 
Go to an OGF Outing and meet some of the members of this site. Great advice! I still remember meeting Triton Bill and Ruminator and his wife out on West Branch in our beginning boating days. We&#8217;ve met some awesome members of the site at Hawg Fest and Member Appreciation Events.
Disagree:
That if a guy and gal fishes or spends time together it&#8217;s inevitable something is going to happen. In my single days I only wished this were true! All the disappointed young male youth can vouch for the fact that&#8217;s not the case. I can also say that I have been fishing with many guys and never once found myself attracted to them lol. It all depends on what you are looking or hoping for when you head out on a boat with someone. I would say that if someone fears something might happen if they are out fishing with someone of the opposite sex they have made the right decision by not going out with them. That&#8217;s good old fashion common sense!
Women need guidance. I don&#8217;t disagree with the statement just the context of it. It&#8217;s already been said that we all can benefit from the wisdom of others but a statement like &#8220;women need guidance&#8221; infers that they just aren&#8217;t as sharp as the boys. That&#8217;s a ridiculous presumption if you meant it the way it sounded.

Of course there are more points I agree and disagree with but they really don&#8217;t need mentioning. Here are a few of my general observations.
The problem with society and divorce rates and affairs are not simply a result of changing moral values. Divorce rates have climbed because women have entered the work force and now experience financial independence. Divorce has become a practical alternative in a bad relationship. Unfortunately all divorces aren't the result of a bad relationship. Sometimes it just comes down to the faults that we all possess. You can also bet that it is far, far more likely that an affair will spring up at work where you see someone 40+ hours a week then it will from going fishing with someone. You are probably spending as much or more time with women at work if you add it up then you are with your spouse. Pandora&#8217;s Box has been opened and it&#8217;s never going to be closed again so it&#8217;s best we learn to control our behavior in context of today&#8217;s society.

My screen name gives it all away as far as my relationship with Reel Lady. Many of you already knew that and for those that didn&#8217;t you may have already deduced it by the length of both of our responses. 
I don&#8217;t give a second thought about Marcia going out and fishing with anyone be it male or female. I can&#8217;t always go out with her and it&#8217;s almost always more fun to be out with a like minded outdoorsman. There are a whole lot more guys that fish in our neck of the woods then there are women so it stands to reason that Marcia is going to be fishing with the boys when I&#8217;m not out with her. I happen to know that she is all about the fishing. I&#8217;m lucky if I can get her to take a 30 second break to take a drink of water. I&#8217;ve even tried to distract towards other activities while on the water to only hear &#8220;I&#8217;m fishing right now do you think you can wait till we get home&#8221;.

Wiper Swiper: You made the statement that you don&#8217;t like fishing with women because you can&#8217;t fart and curse. I should probably let you know that as a guy I really would not be interested in smelling your gas and I prefer intelligent conversation over cursing. It&#8217;s not so much a gender thing as you might think as much. I&#8217;m sure there are women out there that can deal with your farting and cursing far better than I could. 

Kate: The bottom line is there is nothing wrong with fishing with someone of the opposite sex but realize that there are some guys with ulterior motives, some that may have a stray thought, and others that would see nothing more than a fellow outdoorsman. You may want to avoid the obvious perverts but understand that you are not responsible for someone else&#8217;s thoughts or their relationship with a significant other if they have one. They are responsible for those things. Do keep an eye out for improper behavior though and keep in mind that you could be the wife or girlfriend of a guy that is acting inappropriate someday. Afford a guys wife or girlfriend the same courtesy you would want if you were in their shoes. If you smell trouble make your way out of it immediately. Make certain your choices allow you have a clear conscience. 
We don't all have the same personalities or comfort levels. Our relationships with our significant others vary so it comes down to realizing what limits we need to place on ourselves.


----------



## Wiper Swiper (May 24, 2005)

Reel Man said:


> Wiper Swiper: You made the statement that you don&#8217;t like fishing with women because you can&#8217;t fart and curse. I should probably let you know that as a guy I really would not be interested in smelling your gas and I prefer intelligent conversation over cursing. It&#8217;s not so much a gender thing as you might think as much. I&#8217;m sure there are women out there that can deal with your farting and cursing far better than I could.


Haha.

I should probably let you know that as a guy I really would not be interested in a day on the water with a sensitive, metro-male anymore than I would with a butchy female.

The point was, my boat is my baliwick. When I have been forced to fish with a female (tournament draw), out of respect I was forced to change MY behavior. I don't fish to improve my manners. The dynamics of the situation made for a horrible day on the water. I have never felt I was fishing with a dolt when he dropped the F-bomb because a 4 pounder just threw his crank 10 feet from the boat. That's just how men act...when they're away from the women.

The tangent is interesting, but again, it has nothing to do with Kate. She's been given sound advice from her family, and the more honest members in this thread. Smart folks try hard to remove the appearance of impropriety...whether they're fishing, or just life in general. She wasn't doing that. But, I think she gets it now.


----------



## RedJada (Jun 21, 2009)

Reel Man said:


> I&#8217;ll weigh in on several points that have been brought up in this thread. I agree with some of the points and disagree with others.
> Agree:
> 
> That if you are fishing with someone of the opposite sex that does not tell their significant other the situation has a bad smell to it and it&#8217;s best to avoid it.
> ...


I have been following this thread from the beginning. Its just amazing some of the comments that have been said and how often the thread starts going another direction. But I think Reel Man has the best post yet. On topic, and it shows he has read though all the post's.
To me fishing is fun and relaxing. When it becomes work, frustrating or constant problems. Then I just move on to where I can fish, have fun and relax again. I enjoy fishing so I'm going to do it no matter what.


----------



## Chrominator (Oct 11, 2007)

fish only with rich guys....


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

Chrominator said:


> my kind of woman...


She was one of a kind lol...And she was single too!!...But she took that serious and she knew better then to put herself in a situation that would be really hard to deal with if things went south..Its one thing to date at work and then break up...But its very hard to deal with that over there cause there isnt a whole lot you can do to make the situation go away..The sad thing is alot of guys hated her for not givin them a piece..Back in the states I would have tried to get with her til she slapped my face numb lol..But over there I respected her for not handing it out like snow cones in hell...


----------



## FISHIN216 (Mar 18, 2009)

this thread is DONE but just one more lil rant. I HATE the "NOT EVERY" argument. example: I will say some thing to my wife about how certain people do this and that and her only argument is well not EVERY blank does blank..dumb logic really and annoying, of course everybody is different but many do lead a very predictable route


----------



## BigDaddy300 (Nov 1, 2004)

Wiper Swiper said:


> That's just how men act...when they're away from the women.


Yeah the whipped ones. LOL! Sounds like there are a few here


----------



## back lash (Sep 13, 2008)

BigDaddy300 said:


> Yeah the whipped ones. LOL! Sounds like there are a few here


exactly what I was thinking.


----------



## 7thcorpsFA (Mar 6, 2010)

fallen513 said:


> Exactly. We've been infiltrated by mongrels that have ruined society. Those b*[email protected]!


Yah! What he said! I like the way you think buddy!


----------

