# what would you do?



## trackdog (Apr 9, 2005)

Getting married in July, future wife wants me to sell my boat to help pay for the wedding, got a 1975 aerocraft 19ft with a 120 chevy 2 motor [iron duke I think] boat is in great shape, don't want to sell but she's right we do need the money........... promised me, promised me, yeah promised me we would get another boat next spring so I'm holding off till june so I can fish this spring I'll post some pics when I get ready to sell........I'm thinking somebody will say keep the boat sell the girlfriend lol.


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## Fishman (Apr 5, 2004)

Well my man side says "sell her, keep the boat" but my realistic side thinks she is cutting you a pretty good deal! Make an official document that goes something like this.

I _______ (wifes name goes here) promise to allow my husband trackdog to get a new boat in the Spring of '06 if he sells his current boat to help with the wedding expenses. If for one reason or another we cannot afford a boat in the Spring of '06 I will sell my engagement ring and take up a second job to help make the payments.

While your at it make sure you throw in something about "hot dinner by 5" .

Hope that helps


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## trackdog (Apr 9, 2005)

that sounds like it might work, looking forward to new boat.


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## H2O Mellon (Apr 5, 2004)

Get it in writing!  

Sell the boat now....... then get one thats BETTER next year. But I warn you sometimes "Next Year" or "Next Spring" never comes.


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## trackdog (Apr 9, 2005)

I know about that Mellon, been married twice before lol.


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## mrfishohio (Apr 5, 2004)

I don't know...how much is the boat worth? How much is it going to cost to replace it? If it meant the down payment on a house or something, but for some cake & flowers?? Your call, best of luck. Only you know your financial situation, if she and you have good jobs and will really be able to get a new one.  
You know the old joke, you might be saying it next year. I got a new boat for my wife, pretty good trade, eh?


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## bill_gfish (Apr 5, 2004)

For her to even ask is selfish. What has she given up? Been married twice huh. Glutton for punishment? Am I the only one that sees this? Sorry, not to jump at you or sound like I know what the heck I am doing in my marriage but this is a red flag to me.

bill


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## snifer (Mar 26, 2005)

trackdog, ive been married for 9 yrs know and have always wanted a boat. its been a long wait but it was my wifes idea to get a boat this year. i never pushed the boat too much but my dream finally came true. if it is the third time getting married it sounds like this is the one so hopefully you can take her word. good luck


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## FSHNERIE (Mar 5, 2005)

Keep the boat....If you cannot afford to pay for a wedding,How you gonna buy a boat in the spring.I sold my motorcycle when I got married,,,Took me 15 years to get another one.You will find a way to pay for the wedding.I caterd my own wedding,saved lots of $$$$.For you'r honey moon take her fishing on the boat,She dose fish???

Good Luck


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## ARGEE (Apr 5, 2004)

GET MARRIED ON THE BOAT,THAT WAY SHE WILL NEVER WANT TO SELL IT AS IT WILL BE FOR SENTIMENTAL REASONS.


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## Fishman (Apr 5, 2004)

Agree has made the best suggestion, go with that!


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## steelheader007 (Apr 8, 2004)

...have her say "obey" in the marriage vows at the alter... lol ..


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## lastv8 (Oct 11, 2004)

she wants you to sell your boat? and she not even your wife yet? things like that don't get better after the wedding and a few kids. here is my advice .... RUN ....RUN......RUN


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## jb525 (Apr 15, 2004)

Well Bro, Im going to give you my limited 22 years of marriage to 1 woman advice which came to me via mom/dad after their 41 years together before mom's passing on to glory. First I will speak to your question. If your intended is known to you well enough and you know she is being honest with you and not just trying to change something about you that she doesn't like such as fishing and the something such as a boat or fishing is something your not willing to give up in your life, then sell the boat and marry her because you will soon find that marriage is a constant compromise of things to make both of you happy and it doesn't matter whether you get another boat ever, that is something that will be dictated by financial constrains and Priorities such as a roof over your head vs boat ownership and you never want something such as a boat to be a point of contention where you blame her for your decision to give up the boat. So think about this and be honest with yourself for your sake and her's because marriage is the one lifelong contract between the 3 of you. Your wife,You, and God. God bless you and your intended's decision.


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## ncraft150 (Apr 5, 2004)

I've heard that before. I promise we'll get another. Took me three years the first time then I put my foot down. I'd say if you don't mind getting rid of it then get rid of it. If you truely want to keep it tell her how you feel and stand your ground.


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## Shortdrift (Apr 5, 2004)

That one totally cracked me up!  Only thing wrong is it could be a double edged sword. If you want to get rid of her, you may have to include the boat
to get the job done.


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## smallfish (Feb 20, 2005)

good post jb525. My very short marriage of 27 years has led me similiar thoughts. I always wanted a boat but could not afford one when we were young . About 15 years ago my wife scraped together enougth to get me a 12' v bottom with a 5 horse and a small trolling motor for Christmas .I would never have bought something that small. She was so worried that it would not be good enoughth for me.I have had bigger boats since , but I still have it and I will never sell it. Good luck. Steve


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## Stoshu (Nov 6, 2004)

My brother sold his Harley for an engagement ring....10 years later, still no bike...Be careful, discuss the situation rationally, and think about it carefully. We have thought about selling our camper in the past, but decided against it, as we knew we would probably not get another. We found other ways to get the money we needed.


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## Fishman (Apr 5, 2004)

Shortdrift said:


> That one totally cracked me up!  Only thing wrong is it could be a double edged sword. If you want to get rid of her, you may have to include the boat
> to get the job done.



Ouch, he brings up a good point. You're darned if you do and darned if you don't!


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## Reel Lady (Jul 4, 2004)

Hi Trackdog  Welcome to OGF...  
In response to your dilemma... My theory is this...."You get what you can afford". Seriously...I dont see any reason to start selling things off to pay for a wedding. You could never ever replace this boat for what you will get out of it by selling it. Did you buy her an engagement ring? If so, then if the boat has to go, then I say that the ring goes too! Hey, what's fair is fair. 
A wedding is about the union and commitment made between a man and a woman. You dont need all of the fancy embellishments to make it "More Special". A big fancy wedding that costs alot of money, (or more money than you really have to spend) in my opinion is just not a financially wise. 
I think I can safely assume that she does not fish? Hmm.. well, that's a whole different thread.... lol 
Don't go into debt for a wedding, don't sell what you already own for a wedding, don't spend your entire savings on a wedding. Use that money for a house, a car, life insurance, college, or retirement... _ANYthing... _ just not a wedding. 
I hope that she is not laying major guilt trips on you about this... but ya know what??? LIke the song says...."You Cant always get what you want... you get what you need" 
Trackdog, I know that some of these responses may or may not have been what you were hoping for, including mine. But.. I can promise you that I will always offer you my honest and unbias opinion. 
Good luck to you, your future bride, and your decision...
Marcia


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## Fish4Fun (Apr 6, 2004)

Trackdog, I have been married only a short time only 5yrs. We have been together for 8yrs. She has never once asked me to sell my boat or any hunting or fishing items as she knows how important they are to me. As the bread winner and the responsible party in this marriage and raising 4 kids i have sold 2 boats my decision alone as she never asked and questioned me when i did but hay we needed money more than a boat at the time. Trust me on this one something else more important will always come up and take that boat money or harley money. So only way i would sell that boat is if your in dier need of cash. As for the wedding my wedding cost under $1000, we got nice cake, and preacher and had an outside wedding at a gazeboo overlooking a nice pond and had the reception in the garage. We only invited imediate family and friends not the people that we never see anyway. I think highly overpriced weddings are not worth it. Theres alot of other things to go in debt for like a new boat. If you really think you'll have the money for a new boat next yr and need the cash then sell it but think hard about it. you already have the boat now. Only you know what you really need and what has to be done.


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## WalleyeGuy (Apr 9, 2004)

ARGEE still gas the best plan.
Throw a broom on the deck, join hands , jump over the broom, throw some salt over your shoulder and its done deal.
Keep the boat and only pay for a box of salt and a new broom handle.
OR.. do as I and just shack up for 10 years to see if she still willing to help cough up a new vessel


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## Fish4Fun (Apr 6, 2004)

and if you do sell the boat have a decent wedding and have one heck of a honey moon, thats the fun part the rest is just for show for all the people.


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## FSHNERIE (Mar 5, 2005)

Trackdog...How old are you? How old is she???


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## chaunc (Apr 11, 2004)

Any woman who would ask me to sell my boat or stop fishing, isn't the woman i want to spend my life with. I dont care how pretty she is. I refuse to live my life unhappy. You've been married twice already.... and you haven't learned much at all. Do you still live at home with your parents? Or is she a lot younger than you and you want to impress her and her family? Again i say... I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE UNHAPPY! I've been married twice too, divorced twice, paid child support for 5 kids, and been single for the last 18 years. Dumped 2 chicks who make $80k a year because they said i fish too much. Dont need the hassle in my world. I date but i see no point in getting married again. Just keepin it real. Food for thought.


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## catfishhunter33 (Apr 6, 2004)

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## catfishhunter001 (May 31, 2004)

Why dont we help him keep his boat? if everyone sent him $5.00 for a help keep a fishermans boat fund he wouldnt have to sell it.. I hate to see a fisherman have to make a choice like that we all got a few bucks we could let go of for a fellow fisherman Right!!! then we all could make his situation a little better ... WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?? GOOD IDEA OR NOT ....


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## steelheader007 (Apr 8, 2004)

..theres alot of iron in those words and i agree! Sorry just like the author before me "keeping it reel"! I love my wife, and she would never ask me to depart with any of my feeshing stuff, she may ask me not to purchase some thing, or dont think I need that one thing right now. She would never make me give up any part of some thing that makes me happy or that I love.


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## truck (Apr 12, 2004)

Don't sell the boat,what will be next?


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## fishingful (Apr 5, 2004)

got married 2 years ago and the whole thing cost me under 1000 bucks (997.52  ) had the wedding outside in her parents yard the mayor did the cerimony for free had a hall at the vfw (vet's get 1/2 off the hall rental) got 2 kegs and my mom did the cake...........the food came from sams club and i made the eggs and veggie trays myself and had a friend serving the beer and and another serving food and that cost me a bottle of rum and a bottle of jack  .........................so it can be done my wifes sister is having hers at the shariton and they are taking out a loan for 30,000 for the whole thing thats just crazy thats a downpayment on a house for 1 day i hope the chicken is good  ............................dont sell it


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## bkr43050 (Apr 5, 2004)

I am not going to jump on the bandwagon of "Warning Sign - Run!" because I don't know you or your situation. But I can say that I agree with what many have said about replacing the boat next spring. Chances are you are not going to be able to replace it at the same price so in the long run you are going to take a major hit. And there is something worth thinking about. Is she making a sacrifice as well? If the answer is yes then you may need to give it some consideration or come up with an alternative plan. If you are truly going to be able to afford the boat next spring it seems that maybe some things could be done at this point to avoid the sale. For example, borrow from bank, folks, etc. After all the collateral for the loan could be the boat. The last thing you want to do is start off a marriage with something to be resentful for if she "made" you sell the boat. If it happens it needs to be something you believe in as well. And from the sound of your initial post that does not sound like the case at this point.


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## Guest (Apr 25, 2005)

Trackdog, I have some advice that I think would help but I'll have to keep most of it under my belt so I don't get any more scoldings from the moderators. But anyway, I'm sure your fiance is a real sweet lady and all that stuff but what this is is a control issue. If you give in on this, the next thing you know she will be trying to control all aspects of your life and you'll be sitting home folding laundry the rest of your life instead of fishing.

I don't claim to be an expert on women although I am but as the always keen Truck said "what will be next?" When you give they just keep taking and taking and they are NEVER satisfied. Nothing is ever good enough, there is always something you could have done better. Don't sell the freak'n boat. Put the wedding on a credit card, don't register for gifts, invite a bunch of people, get a bunch of kegs and cheap food and hope that you get a bunch of money for a wedding gift and that should defray most of the costs. If you're to be wife is talking $1,500+ for a video and pictures then I suggest you take the ring back now!


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## lark101_1999 (Apr 12, 2004)

something i never umderstood why spend alot of money to get married put it onto a new house or something its hard enough fighting over money u dont have without going into the hole before the i do's are said


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## mrfishohio (Apr 5, 2004)

Lot's of good points brought up. You'll have to make your own decision. When we got married 27 years ago we had nothing. Rented a back room of a bar to hold the reception, got married by the mayor of the small town down the street. Didn't have a honeymoon, stayed in our apartment. I guess it's all about what you want or need and why. I don't know your situation, I don't know you or her, etc. Just seems odd you need to sell your boat. I'd have to seriously consider just how much are you going to get for it & can you do without that (whatever the boat money is paying for) at the wedding. Of course on the other hand, if she has a good income then you can replace it, but then again. If that's the case, then you could simply take out a loan & pay it back too....


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## trackdog (Apr 9, 2005)

thanks to everyone for there reply


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## lastv8 (Oct 11, 2004)

hey trackdog, you asked us. now I will ask you. what would you do?


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## Fletch (Apr 10, 2004)

I'm not a good person to ask and this is why.
I went down to the boat shop in 2001 and ordered a new boat the exact same color as my old one. My wife would have never found out if it weren't for my Son (About 6 years old at the time). He said "Dad, you got new boat seats" and then "Dad, you got a new depth finder" and then "Dad, you got a new boat" followed by "Mom, guess what Dad did"!  
It took about 2 months for her to forgive me. And no I don't have any plans on getting another boat (in this lifetime!).


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## trackdog (Apr 9, 2005)

this is what i would do, if i really wanted to keep the boat i would keep it and borrow money if i needed it for the wedding ...... i guess i should have said that when i bought this boat it really wasnt what i wanted but i got a really good deal on it and it was real clean and now i dont want to get rid of it but it's not that big of a deal so next spring i can get a 14ft v-bottom what i wanted in the first place....oh well, live and learn i guess, still waiting for delaware to clear up.


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## gulfvet (Apr 14, 2004)

I got married 25 yrs ago this coming June. We had a very simple ceremony with rings handed down from my Grandfather and my Mom. We got her dress for $425. The whole thing cost us under $700. I know that was then and things have gone up, but you can still do things A LOT more cheaply than a lot of folks think. The size and expense of the wedding doesn't mean the marriage will survive (look at Hollywood). And you don't need to start out your married life in the hole or at zero. Keep the boat and sell it later if you need to to keep your house or pay a big doctor bill. In the meantime, you can fish for the table instead of sport and show her how a boat can help earn its keep.


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## Stoshu (Nov 6, 2004)

fishingful said:


> .....so it can be done my wifes sister is having hers at the shariton and they are taking out a loan for 30,000 for the whole thing thats just crazy thats a downpayment on a house for 1 day i hope the chicken is good



We did ours 10 years ago for under 5,000. That included a small hall and catering for 125 people....chicken....They should be serving Prime Rib at that price....I'm sorry, but in my humble opinion, that's rediculous to take a loan out for that much for one day....go more conservative, and put that money to better use.


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