# oops



## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

so,, i was at giant eagle shopping and i reached for a box of honey nut cheerios. I slowly and silently started to pass a bit of gas.. well, im feeling it and just let it rip, I think I even grunted. lol. i looked around and an older black lady was giving me the eye... she said "i bet that felt good' i replied "damn right that did" we both laughed about it and went on about our day.. 

i only post this because nobody got offended by a fart


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## bobk (Apr 30, 2004)

Well I'm offended and I wasn't even there. Go wipe Susan.


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

It was dry..


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

ezbite said:


> so,, i was at giant eagle shopping and i reached for a box of honey nut cheerios. I slowly and silently started to pass a bit of gas.. well, im feeling it and just let it rip, I think I even grunted. lol. i looked around and an older black lady was giving me the eye... she said "i bet that felt good' i replied "damn right that did" we both laughed about it and went on about our day..
> 
> i only post this because nobody got offended by a fart


I think I heard you in the next aisle.......


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## SICKOFIT (Feb 23, 2014)

Snakecharmer said:


> I think I heard you in the next aisle.......


A friend & I were in Walmart several years ago looking at fishing equipment when I let loose of one of the stinkiest bombs to ever come out of a human. An unsuspecting woman walked around the corner and right into the stench and muttered O , my Lord as she turned and ran the other way. That's about as hard as I have laughed my entire life


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## fastwater (Apr 1, 2014)

bobk said:


> Well I'm offended and I wasn't even there. Go wipe Susan.


 You guys crack me up


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## All Thumbs (Apr 11, 2004)

my brother in law and i was at the hospital visiting someone and just as we got up to our floor on the elevator, he let one rip. we got off real fast and let a family on. just as the door was closing we could tell from their expressions it was one of his really ripe ones. he said it was his proudest moments.


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

SICKOFIT said:


> A friend & I were in Walmart several years ago looking at fishing equipment when I let loose of one of the stinkiest bombs to ever come out of a human. An unsuspecting woman walked around the corner and right into the stench and muttered O , my Lord as she turned and ran the other way. That's about as hard as I have laughed my entire life


HAHA now thats funny


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## Flathead76 (May 2, 2010)

Should have let out a silent but violent then crop dusted her.


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

Flathead76 said:


> Should have let out a silent but violent then crop dusted her.


we like to call it a 'fly by"..


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## Flathead76 (May 2, 2010)

ezbite said:


> we like to call it a 'fly by"..


Well whatever you call it. The only thing better is afterwards you looked at her giving her the sniffing poop face like she dropped it. Straight face required.


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

SICKOFIT said:


> A friend & I were in Walmart several years ago looking at fishing equipment when I let loose of one of the stinkiest bombs to ever come out of a human. An unsuspecting woman walked around the corner and right into the stench and muttered O , my Lord as she turned and ran the other way. That's about as hard as I have laughed my entire life


Spit my coffee when I read that....LOL


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## boatnut (Nov 22, 2006)

Crop dusting giant eagle....nice!


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

I found Tom's Video...
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?...8C027D636C1C7A0187DD8C027D636C1C7A0&FORM=VIRE


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

ok reading this at work is not recommended, my co workers think I am possessed because of the amount of laughter this morning


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

and since we are sharing, on a recent vacation with my in laws I was driving the family around Myrtle Beach, reached over and lock the windows, raised a cheek, let er rip and watch as my front seat passenger tried like the devil to get the door unlocked and find fresh air while dry heaving.....not naming any names but he is a member of OGF


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

Ok... We heard Tom's side of the story....Now from the black woman.

Mabel, I just can't believe what happened. You know the Giant Eagle on Main? Well I was shopping to get some greens and ribs and I pushed my cart down the cereal aisle... Well there this big old white honky reaching for some Honey Nut Cheerios and next thing I know , there was this low drawn out fart coming from that old geezer. Man the stank. Smelled like a week old diaper. Then he has the nerve to say to me. " Damn that felt good" . Mabel I about fainted from the gas. Can you believe that goober? Gassing right in my space. I about slapped him aside the head but I had to get the hell away from that skunk factory. He even followed me down the aisle with a goofy smile on his face as if he was proud of himself. What's this world coming to....


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

Snakecharmer said:


> Ok... We heard Tom's side of the story....Now from the black woman.
> 
> Mabel, I just can't believe what happened. You know the Giant Eagle on Main? Well I was shopping to get some greens and ribs and I pushed by cart down the cereal aisle... Well there this big old white honky reaching for some Honey Nut Cheerios and next thing I know , there was this low drawn out fart coming from that old geezer. Man the stank. Smelled like a week old diaper. Then he has the nerve to say to me. " Damn that felt good" . Mabel I about fainted from the gas. Can you believe that goober? Gassing right in my space. I about slapped him aside the head but I had to get the hell away from that skunk factory. He even followed me down the aisle with a goofy smile on his face as it he was proud of himself. What's this world coming to....


Lord I need to ignore this thread until after work.


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## snag (Dec 27, 2005)

Shhh you guys are crazy!


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## Fishballz (Aug 15, 2015)

Absolutely hilarious thread, can't stop laughing!!! Thank you lol


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## lacdown (Apr 25, 2007)

Just curious... why does it matter that she's a black lady?


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## BronzeBackHunter (May 6, 2013)

It does not matter. He was giving details of the story. 
Looks like this space isnt safe enough for you huh?


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## Shortdrift (Apr 5, 2004)

ezbite said:


> It was dry..


Too bad.


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## Shortdrift (Apr 5, 2004)

BronzeBackHunter said:


> It does not matter. He was giving details of the story.
> Looks like this space isnt safe enough for you huh?


I agree and you beat me to it. Someones always trying to take a well meaning and humorous post/story/picture in a combative ar argumentative direction. What a way to live.


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

We have an innocent dog in the house. She shares my bed. I fart. One time when I ripped one in the morning it startled her and she went on alert, ears up, as if some invisible intruder had entered the room. So now Linda and I joke about the Fart Monster.

If you want farts, go hang around horses.


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## lacdown (Apr 25, 2007)

I don't think there's an issue recognizing differences between races/cultures/genders at all and think people get too sensitive about stuff too. I was curious as to why her being black changes the story in any way. It doesn't matter to the story and I relay stories sometimes calling out race also and find myself asking if it's necessary. There wasn't anything combative or argumentative about it.


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## fish4wall (Apr 14, 2004)

so years ago my wife had gastric bypass. after that her farts were silent...and YES extreamly deadly.
well we'd go to the grocery store. she'd wait till no one was in the aisle and rip one..
and every time she did this some little old lady would round the corner...
who ALWAYS got the stink eye????? ME!!!
guess who doesn't go shopping with her any more......THIS GUY!!!


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)




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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)




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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

lacdown said:


> I don't think there's an issue recognizing differences between races/cultures/genders at all and think people get too sensitive about stuff too. I was curious as to why her being black changes the story in any way. It doesn't matter to the story and I relay stories sometimes calling out race also and find myself asking if it's necessary. There wasn't anything combative or argumentative about it.


 I guess Tom could have said there was a person of unknown age, sex, and race that witnessed a sound from unknown location but I don't think the story would be as nearly as funny. The only way Tom's story could have been funnier is it was a nun or his Sunday school teacher.


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

Snakecharmer said:


> I guess Tom could have said there was a person of unknown age, sex, and race that witnessed a sound from unknown location but I don't think the story would be as nearly as funny. The only way Tom's story could have been funnier is it was a nun or his Sunday school teacher.


ooooooor OR she could of been caring one of bobk's GLOCKS!!


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## ress (Jan 1, 2008)

I work in a nursing home. Nuff said!


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

ress said:


> I work in a nursing home. Nuff said!


A.K.A. Gas Station?


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## Flathead76 (May 2, 2010)

ezbite said:


> ooooooor OR she could of been caring one of bobk's GLOCKS!!


She probably didn't get to that isle in the store yet. They are located on the shelf between the plastic Pepsi bottles and bang snaps.


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## ress (Jan 1, 2008)

MMM Boy!!! Duck and Run!!!!


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## cement569 (Jan 21, 2016)

must be a giant eagle thing, a few years ago was shopping there with my brother who passed away a few years ago in an accident, we were there to get fixens for a rabbit dinner and we came around the isle and there was a very good looking young lady there she bent down to get something off the shelf and let one go..... it sounded like a fog horn and my brother being the corker he was ...... just blurted out... nice one and she took off red faced around the corner. we laughed all night about it....... god I miss my brother


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## Saugeye Tom (Oct 6, 2010)

lustofcrappies said:


> and since we are sharing, on a recent vacation with my in laws I was driving the family around Myrtle Beach, reached over and lock the windows, raised a cheek, let er rip and watch as my front seat passenger tried like the devil to get the door unlocked and find fresh air while dry heaving.....not naming any names but he is a member of OGF


You


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## Lazy 8 (May 21, 2010)

All this talk makes me wanna make a pot of brown beans and corn bread.


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## fastwater (Apr 1, 2014)

Saugeye Tom said:


> You
> View attachment 242455


Must be saving that other one for a special occasion.


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## fastwater (Apr 1, 2014)

lustofcrappies said:


> and since we are sharing, on a recent vacation with my in laws I was driving the family around Myrtle Beach, reached over and lock the windows, raised a cheek, let er rip and watch as my front seat passenger tried like the devil to get the door unlocked and find fresh air while dry heaving.....not naming any names but he is a member of OGF


Just wanted to add that I get a sneaking suspicion that this is NOT over.
Just hope there are no innocent bystanders that get in the crossfire when payback comes around.


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

Lazy 8 said:


> All this talk makes me wanna make a pot of brown beans and corn bread.


I figured you to load the gas tank with some Genny Cream Ale... One of the best for beer farts..


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## lawrence1 (Jul 2, 2008)

I've had the displeasure of stumbling upon this in the stores, nasty, smelled like something must have crawled up inside them and died. Either everybody farted at once or someone chit their pants.


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## Saugeyefisher (Jul 19, 2010)

I will never get why farting is so funny! No matter how old I get,how grumpy I am. A good fart will always make me laugh. Even all alone driving in the car. If I squeeze out a good one I cry from laughter. My mom always asked,"what's wrong,did it tickle your but-hole?"......


My 5 year old boy is a walking ball of gas. And has already learned the----- fart real loud in a crowded area,an with out missing a beat you hear,"ewwww,daddy that's disgusting,stop it!"...lol bless his little heart!


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

Saugeye Tom said:


> You
> View attachment 242455


I said I wasn't going to name names lol...... It was funny after that moment all I had to do is threaten to let one rip and the windows were immediately down and the locks checked on the van


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

fastwater said:


> Just wanted to add that I get a sneaking suspicion that this is NOT over.
> Just hope there are no innocent bystanders that get in the crossfire when payback comes around.


Fast Water, he better have a good one cause he knows what he's up against lol


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## Lewis (Apr 5, 2004)




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## russelld (Jun 10, 2013)

My favorite thread I need a good laugh I take a medicine that when I fart the smell makes me leave the area and I know I have a half hour more


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## fastwater (Apr 1, 2014)

lustofcrappies said:


> Fast Water, he better have a good one cause he knows what he's up against lol


Again, while battling, please be careful of innocent bystanders...and carry some TP.


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## Saugeyefisher (Jul 19, 2010)

One thing I keep hearing though,please someone with more knowledge on the subject feel free to chime in. But is it true,the older you get the more careful you have to be letting them rip? I've herd sudden accidents may accure?


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

Our Secret Word for today is *Flatulist*.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulist

Edited to add, you may recall the Governor (Mel Brooks) in _Blazing Saddles_ was named William J. Le Petomane.


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

Saugeyefisher said:


> I will never get why farting is so funny! No matter how old I get,how grumpy I am. A good fart will always make me laugh. Even all alone driving in the car. If I squeeze out a good one I cry from laughter. My mom always asked,"what's wrong,did it tickle your but-hole?"......
> 
> 
> My 5 year old boy is a walking ball of gas. And has already learned the----- fart real loud in a crowded area,an with out missing a beat you hear,"ewwww,daddy that's disgusting,stop it!"...lol bless his little heart!


 So as a good father, have you taught him how to cup him hand and place it under the opposing armpit and flap his opposing arm to create a "fart" noise? He needs to know that before entering school.


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## Lazy 8 (May 21, 2010)

Snakecharmer said:


> I figured you to load the gas tank with some Genny Cream Ale... One of the best for beer farts..


Nah, believe it or not, I don't drink. But I always heard Strohs and those pickled eggs in the gallon jar behind the bar made for some hairy ones the next day.
Speaking of that, have you ever had any chunky ones? Or the walking ones? Poot, poot, poot, poot, poot, poot..........


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

Farts are air bags for turds.


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## Saugeyefisher (Jul 19, 2010)

Snakecharmer said:


> So as a good father, have you taught him how to cup him hand and place it under the opposing armpit and flap his opposing arm to create a "fart" noise? He needs to know that before entering school.


He has not mastered that one yet,but can blow a straw through his armpit,and make some pretty good sounding ones


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

fastwater said:


> Again, while battling, please be careful of innocent bystanders...and carry some TP.


war is not possible without the possibility of innocent casualties lol


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## UFM82 (Apr 6, 2004)

My wife is appalled when somebody rips one but, as a guy, I can't help but laugh. Face it, if you are in a room with nothing but guys and somebody farts everyone cracks up! Farts are hilarious! Strangest phenomena ever...


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## CFIden (Oct 9, 2014)

Anyone ever eat those little slider hamburgers from the big white building? I don't know what's in those things but every time I have them I'm deadly.


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## Lazy 8 (May 21, 2010)

Heck, all I have to do is look at a bowl of beans and I'll start ripping em.


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## SICKOFIT (Feb 23, 2014)

Saugeyefisher said:


> One thing I keep hearing though,please someone with more knowledge on the subject feel free to chime in. But is it true,the older you get the more careful you have to be letting them rip? I've herd sudden accidents may accure?


Never trust a fart if you are over 50. If you are over 50 you know exactly what I mean. Oops !!


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## SICKOFIT (Feb 23, 2014)

CFIden said:


> Anyone ever eat those little slider hamburgers from the big white building? I don't know what's in those things but every time I have them I'm deadly.


That's why we don't call them sliders , we call them rectal rockets.


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## ress (Jan 1, 2008)

Hershey Squirts.........


SICKOFIT said:


> Never trust a fart if you are over 50. If you are over 50 you know exactly what I mean. Oops !!


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## 1more (Jan 10, 2015)

CFIden said:


> Anyone ever eat those little slider hamburgers from the big white building? I don't know what's in those things but every time I have them I'm deadly.


White Castle!


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## MIGHTY (Sep 21, 2013)

I'll add a story since we're talking about giant eagle.... 6-7 years ago myself and 3 buddies went in one evening to get some snacks for a football game. Some time passed and 3 of us were ready to check out but no one knew where Adam went. We paid and stood there waiting for him. Finally I called him and asked what he was doing and he said he was on his way and that he had to go home. So we all got into my truck and headed back to the house and we asked him what was wrong. He said "well I haven't felt the greatest all night and I had bubble guts hit me really hard out of no where so I ran to the bathroom and let loose. The roll of toilet paper was low and it was the cheap thin kind. So I started to wipe and I got a little dab on my thumb and when that happens you gotta smell it ya know? Buuuut I accidentally got it too close to my nose and yea....I gotta go home and take a shower now."


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## ress (Jan 1, 2008)

TMI....lol


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## MIGHTY (Sep 21, 2013)

Yea, I was kinda weirded out but laughed my arse off.....


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## Shortdrift (Apr 5, 2004)

Four of us were salmon fishing out of Port Breeze and went to a well known prime rib restaurant for dinner. It was loaded with fishermen and suddenly somebody ripped the loudest fart I ever heard. There was a lot of laughter from a table behind us which quickly spread through the place. 
We went back to the same place the next evening and the same thing happened and we found out it was a woman at that same table creating that voluminous sound. Guess she's a regular. We were headed home the following evening and I thought I felt the ground shake and shudder as we passed the restaurant that evening.


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## Lil' Rob (Apr 11, 2004)

I got to do a little crop dusting while boarding a plane on Friday...I heard some not-so-pleasant reactions behind me...

Not sure what was worse...the stench I let out, or the Chinese food the guy in first class was eating.

I am just glad it was a short flight and there were no further urges to let loose during the flight.


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

Lil' Rob said:


> I got to do a little crop dusting while boarding a plane on Friday...I heard some not-so-pleasant reactions behind me...
> 
> Not sure what was worse...the stench I let out, or the Chinese food the guy in first class was eating.
> 
> I am just glad it was a short flight and there were no further urges to let loose during the flight.


I love being able to crop dust in planes and airports. I have noticed a huge level of pungency after eating food in an airport.


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## PromiseKeeper (Apr 14, 2004)

Shortdrift said:


> Four of us were salmon fishing out of Port Breeze and went to a well known prime rib restaurant for dinner. It was loaded with fishermen and suddenly somebody ripped the loudest fart I ever heard. There was a lot of laughter from a table behind us which quickly spread through the place.
> We went back to the same place the next evening and the same thing happened and we found out it was a woman at that same table creating that voluminous sound. Guess she's a regular. We were headed home the following evening and I thought I felt the ground shake and shudder as we passed the restaurant that evening.


I was waiting on you to say it was Lundy LOL


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## Saugeye Tom (Oct 6, 2010)

lustofcrappies said:


> I love being able to crop dust in planes and airports. I have noticed a huge level of pungency after eating food in an airport.


pervert


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

PromiseKeeper said:


> I was waiting on you to say it was Lundy LOL


it probably was he just didnt want BANNED.lol. (sorry kim)


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## fastwater (Apr 1, 2014)

ezbite said:


> i probably was he just didnt want BANNED.lol. (sorry kim)


I would be more afraid of getting banned for the plastic gun thread you started.


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

all pun intended.. SHEET..


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## fastwater (Apr 1, 2014)

ezbite said:


> all pun intended.. SHEET..


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## Dovans (Nov 15, 2011)

Yup, at work today... let one go and said.."thats for you EZ"


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

LOL, dont do it for me.. do it for yourself


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

Saugeye Tom said:


> pervert


You're thinking about a different kind of crop dust....lol


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

This is Paul Reubens of Pee Wee Herman fame.


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

FOSR said:


> This is Paul Reubens of Pee Wee Herman fame.


that was a great movie.


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## Wow (May 17, 2010)

Between this and your frog call ,Tom, You are the complete package.

If you need ammo in a hurry try dry roasted peanuts and an orange . --Tim


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## Specgrade (Apr 14, 2017)

I was at work and just finished some Taco Bell for lunch. Very small shop (few people) and I felt the need to float an air biscuit. Big mistake as I felt my drawers sag and get warm. Darn it! I went commando the rest of the day and chucked them drawers in the big green box outside.

There ya go, my story. I know you care, lol.


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

I'm not sure why...But back to the top.............


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## Shad Rap (Nov 10, 2010)

Specgrade said:


> I was at work and just finished some Taco Bell for lunch. Very small shop (few people) and I felt the need to float an air biscuit. Big mistake as I felt my drawers sag and get warm. Darn it! I went commando the rest of the day and chucked them drawers in the big green box outside.
> 
> There ya go, my story. I know you care, lol.


Damn you couldn't close it off any quicker that your drawers sagged???..dang...I've sharted in my undies many times and those babies just went straight to the trash can...free-ballin...


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## snag (Dec 27, 2005)

See what you started Tom!


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## Eastside Al (Apr 25, 2010)

Cant fix. Oops


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## buckeyebowman (Feb 24, 2012)

Here's a little different twist on the story. Way back in the day we got the idea that fox urine would be a good cover scent to use when bow hunting deer. One evening we came out of the woods, stowed our gear and hopped in my buddy's car. The stench coming from my buddy's boots about fogged my glasses! 

We'd always stop at a little convenience store for beer on the way back to his place. He asked me to go in because he stunk so bad. Once I got inside, I realized that all the reek wasn't coming from my friend! I went to the counter where this absolutely ancient woman was running the register. She was screwing up her face because I smelled like I hadn't bathed in a month! 

I paid for the beer, she slapped my change on the counter and tried to make a run for it. I couldn't resist having a little fun, and asked her for a bag! She reached under the counter for one and I hear this deep, guttural cough, almost like a dry heave, come out of her.

She slapped the bag down on the counter and headed for the hills!


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## lustofcrappies (Jun 19, 2017)

S


buckeyebowman said:


> Here's a little different twist on the story. Way back in the day we got the idea that fox urine would be a good cover scent to use when bow hunting deer. One evening we came out of the woods, stowed our gear and hopped in my buddy's car. The stench coming from my buddy's boots about fogged my glasses!
> 
> We'd always stop at a little convenience store for beer on the way back to his place. He asked me to go in because he stunk so bad. Once I got inside, I realized that all the reek wasn't coming from my friend! I went to the counter where this absolutely ancient woman was running the register. She was screwing up her face because I smelled like I hadn't bathed in a month!
> 
> ...


Saugeye Tom could tell you a few things about a shart lmao. BuckeyeBowman, did you ever figure out if the smell truly was the fox sent or did you step in a pile of shart


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

I wonder if I'm coming down with some kind of stomach flu. My guts are a wreck today.

I was fine overnight, just a lot of farting in the morning. That ended with a normal dump, OK. But my stomach has pain with a hint of nausea, and it seems to be moving down my gut. I can feel stuff gurgling and moving. Maybe bad food going through me?

I'm hoping that a nice relaxing case of the runs will resolve all this. I hope this isn't just Day One.

Like a fool, I'm wearing white pants.


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## Trucked (Apr 6, 2004)

SICKOFIT said:


> A friend & I were in Walmart several years ago looking at fishing equipment when I let loose of one of the stinkiest bombs to ever come out of a human. An unsuspecting woman walked around the corner and right into the stench and muttered O , my Lord as she turned and ran the other way. That's about as hard as I have laughed my entire life


I do that to my wife all the time. I'll give her a good one and then go to another isle or back away and watch they people that pass her. She gives me those shooting daggers at me.


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## Dovans (Nov 15, 2011)

Today, I farted while getting off the xray table... Truly embarrassed.


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## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

Dovans said:


> Today, I farted while getting off the xray table... Truly embarrassed.


My Aunt went to a chiropractor and when he pulled on her leg it was like pulling a finger. She about died of embarrassment ( about 50 years ago)...She is now 94..


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## Fishballz (Aug 15, 2015)

Dovans said:


> Today, I farted while getting off the xray table... Truly embarrassed.


Nothing to be embarrassed about getting an x Ray


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## ress (Jan 1, 2008)

I get the walking farts,, every step gets a little burp!


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## Pike (Apr 7, 2004)

EZ is this you?


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)




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## ress (Jan 1, 2008)

Pike. That was awesome!


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## lawrence1 (Jul 2, 2008)

Poop jokes are not my favorite but they're definitely number two.


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## spikeg79 (Jun 11, 2012)

Last week I was with the wife at a local Urgent Care. While the nurse was in the room I was holding one in, she left and shut the door and I let it rip  I thought it was going to be a silent bomb but it turned out to be a noisy one. I didn't realize the dang door wasn't all solid wood though so the nurse apparently heard it too cuz I seen her shadow stop when I let it rip lmao


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## Specgrade (Apr 14, 2017)

Yo, Pike...some dude started tooting at me I'd answer back with my own report. Party on!


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## buckeyebowman (Feb 24, 2012)

lustofcrappies said:


> S
> 
> Saugeye Tom could tell you a few things about a shart lmao. BuckeyeBowman, did you ever figure out if the smell truly was the fox sent or did you step in a pile of shart


Nope! All fox pee. Don't remember what brand it was, but it stunk to high Heaven! Also, once I witnessed an encounter between a buck deer and a mature fox, I stopped using it. That deer didn't like having that fox around one little bit!


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## CountryKat (Apr 5, 2004)

It was several years ago but I was coming back home from Louisiana on a plane. I had a window seat in the 4th or 5th row. Well about 15 minutes into the flight I let a silent but deadly slip out. It took about 2 seconds to fill area with the worst stench to ever come out my body. I quickly reached up and turned the air knob on and turned it forward towards the next seat. I never took my face from the window but I could see hands reaching up turning their fans on. This went up my row and then started coming back down the other side. When we landed and were on 75 my buddy who was driving spoke up and said "somebody **** there pants on that plane" that's when I lost it. You see, he was 2 rows from the back on the other side. It's not like an elevator because you simply can't get off on the next floor. Man i'm laughing so hard now i'm crying.


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## Lazy 8 (May 21, 2010)

So if a tree fall in the forest and no one's around, will it make a noise?
So I'm in the grocery store over by the frozen foods and I let a big, fat, hairy, chunky one out. It didn't slip out, it came out on purpose. But what pissed me off was, nobody heard it. What a waste. I hate that. EZ, at least you had an audience.


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## Hawg Wobbler 52 (Nov 19, 2021)

Good reading, not quite white snapper for intrigue and suspense but quite a lot funnier.

Definitely a best of OGF.


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## Ol' Whiskers (Aug 11, 2004)

all you older guys know to never trust a fart????


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## Hatchetman (Apr 13, 2004)

Ol' Whiskers said:


> all you older guys know to never trust a fart????


That's called a "shart"


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## Ten Bears (Jan 12, 2012)

ezbite said:


> so,, i was at giant eagle shopping and i reached for a box of honey nut cheerios. I slowly and silently started to pass a bit of gas.. well, im feeling it and just let it rip, I think I even grunted. lol. i looked around and an older black lady was giving me the eye... she said "i bet that felt good' i replied "damn right that did" we both laughed about it and went on about our day..
> 
> i only post this because nobody got offended by a fart


The ex and I were out walking the dog one night. I let out a silent bomb that would curl plate glass. She held her nose and remarked on the change in atmospheric aroma. Right then Copperweld steel started pouring in one of the blast furnaces. I remarked what a stink they made when doing that! Ha!!!! You all thought I was going to blame the dog huh?


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## RodsInTheMud (3 mo ago)

Wife was in Giant Eagle one day and an elderly couple was walking in front of her. The man let a loud one rip, he instantly looked at his wife and ask, what’d ya say honey?


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## Safety1st (Apr 20, 2007)




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