# What if you gotta go?



## whodeynati (Mar 12, 2012)

So I was fishing today on the Ohio River. Then about 4 hours into the trip it hit me. I find myself having to take a poop. I had to tough it out for 6 more hours. At times I was absolutely miserable. So my question is what do you guy/gals do if you gotta go? 
Sorry if anyone finds this post tasteless. 
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## buckzye11 (Jul 16, 2009)

Being the greatest question iv'e ever read on OGF... i had to respond
You go. Take some TP with you, if you think the urge get the best of you, find a good bush to hide behind on shore.


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## whodeynati (Mar 12, 2012)

Oh I have had my fair share of incidents on shore, but never had it that bad on the boat. I'm guessing next time I'll just beach the boat and go. 
I saw a toilet seat thay snaps onto a 5 gallon bucket. But I'm sure my wife/fishing buddies wouldn't want to see me drop pants and go into that thing... lol 

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## fredg53 (Sep 17, 2010)

Man been there if ya gotta go go anywhere thats why i always have a bit of tp. 

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## James F (Jul 2, 2005)

Find the most private area and do your business.Been there many times,always carry TP. forget that bucket $*&^ it's just another mess to deal with


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## Bassnpro1 (Apr 6, 2004)

TP is the most essential gear on my boat. I have never gone out without it


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## tadluvadd (Feb 19, 2012)

and if no tp is at hand,use the next best thing---big sturdy leaves.just make sure your not wiping with poison ivy or oak!


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## fishingful (Apr 5, 2004)

If no to and no land a bucket and sock works or underpants works just depends on how bad you got to go lol

I have come home wearing one sock more than once and no socks a couple of times


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## lacdown (Apr 25, 2007)

Hilarious

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## whodeynati (Mar 12, 2012)

I'm so glad I asked this question. These responses are cracking me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has the urges to go. 

When me and the wife first started dating we went catfishing on the bank. I had to sneek away to go do my business. Needless to say I came back with a sleeveless shirt. She thought I was disgusting, but she ended up marrying me. 

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## thedudeabides (Apr 13, 2009)

Coleman also makes ecco friendly sanitary wipes that come very handy for everything. But sometimes its good not to wear your best undies.

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## gerb (Apr 13, 2010)

i had a situation once where we were fishing some flats in the middle of the bay. i had been drinking QUITE heavily the night before, and it hit me like a stack of bricks. we were only in about 3ft of water, so i hopped off the boat and did what i had to do. there was no holding back. even being in the water, it was just a terrible, terrible experience.


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## Gone Wishin (Mar 16, 2013)

Hit the shore. Use socks. I had a bad stomach ache once, went through both socks and had to cut the pocket out of my pants for round 3. So funny Looking back. Sorry for the graphic content. 

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## I Fish (Sep 24, 2008)

Uhh, yea. I had to figure this out a long time ago. Fishing with women made it so. We use a 5 gallon bucket and a rain poncho. It sounds odd, but sounds better than my sharts or her whining. Just put on the poncho and do your business with the bucket. Good luck!


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## hang_loose (Apr 2, 2008)

What could you be charged with if some ranger with an attitude caught you dropping a "Scioto Salmon" off in the woods discretely?


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## gerb (Apr 13, 2010)

scioto salmon!? omg HAHAHHA


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## Salmonid (Apr 14, 2004)

ha ha, been there done that.. anyways the Ohio River doesnt allow you to just pull up on shore, the last few feet are sludge and most boats wont get to shore without you getting stuck, also if you do get the nose of the boat to shore, your first step off the boat may be your last, as you may sink up to your thighs in muck. Best to get up under a bridge where there are good rocks along the shore or my buddy even jumped up on an old floating barge one time and took care of business, LOL

Salmonid


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## ezbite (May 25, 2006)

years ago during the summer i had a buddy that had to go, we were many miles out in lake erie casting erie deries, so he puts on a life jacket, unhooks the anchor rope from the anchor, ties the rope around his chest, drops his shorts, jumps in and proceeds to do his business. i thought that it was a good idea at frist, then i saw the floaters all around him


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## buckzye11 (Jul 16, 2009)

If only fishing wasn't SO relaxing! EZ, i got a good "visual" of your story... LOL, cracked me up!


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## geoffoquinn (Oct 2, 2011)

I always wear a t shirt I don't care about. The sleeves make great toilet paper.


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## geoffoquinn (Oct 2, 2011)

geoffoquinn said:


> I always wear a t shirt I don't care about. The sleeves make great toilet paper.


A ranger walked up on me once with my shirt off while I was cutting the sleeves off and asked me what I was doing. He was just trying to check my fishing license but I thought he knew. Scared the crap out of me.


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## Skarfer (Jan 27, 2006)

You guys ever hear of the 'orangutan hang'????


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## Wannabitawerm (Apr 13, 2004)

Always take about 1/2 dozen unscented baby wipes with me in a freezer bag. When I gotta go, I'm goin. I'll try to hide a bit but if you're that determined to watch, bring score cards because if I don't care at that particular time, it will be epic. Mother Nature calls and sometimes she is pissed! 


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## ohiobuckhunter (Aug 30, 2012)

This is why God made boxer briefs. The leg portion of the underwear work great and you can have more than 1 visit from Mother Nature. My wife asked me after a deer hunt why I was missing a leg and why I didn't just take them off... I basically told her that my morning constitution arrived before 7 and I planned to hunt through the afternoon delivery also. Luckily I tagged out fairly early and made it home. Most of the time I have TP on the hunt/boat... I have boxer briefs all of the time - to start!


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## Bazzin05 (Feb 2, 2011)

I used to fish with a guy that had crohn's disease and I can tell you he would just run to the back desk of the boat and hang his moon off the back while holding onto the outboard motor. I always knew when I was fishing on the back deck and he came a running back that I needed to get to the front deck on the double. 

On my boat I have done the beaching it on the shore and finding a place and while fishing by myself I have just hung off the back of the boat a time or two. But TP is always stocked on my boat.


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## lordofthepunks (Feb 24, 2009)

This is all foreign to me.... All bodily functions go away when I'm fishing, been fishing on my own boat since I was 12 years old and never had this happen...


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## Bucket Mouth (Aug 13, 2007)

Use some construction adhesive and seal up your leaky valve ahaha.....


I had a bit of a panic while ice fishing houghton lake. thought i was gonna have to turn the shanty into an outhouse and destroy a few holes. We left a bit earlier than we wanted to but i didn't have to sully the ice...


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## Eriesteamer (Mar 9, 2007)

To EZ my brother used your way when we was out Erie and it worked. Now to me I have plastic grocerie bags on boat the poop poo size and either use a 5 gallon bucket to insert then in and away we go. Or you can try a stoop and hold bag to away we go. Then you can stash the bag when done fishing. A tip take 2 or 3 as you can not be sure it is a one hit that is it. I always have a used but amply of TP in my tackle box for shore use it beats a hand full grass to wipe your axx and no worry there.


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## gerb (Apr 13, 2010)

geoffoquinn said:


> Scared the crap out of me.


mission accomplished


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## Daveo76 (Apr 14, 2004)

Surprised not to have seen this yet:S:S


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## dstiner86 (Jun 5, 2012)

Dude I've been there once wading down a local flow i mean number one is never a problem but number two man no one wants to do that outdoors..but i had to soon i found a tree wished i didn't have Mexican the night before and cleaned off with not poison ivy leaves.. Hell a little poison ivy on the ass sound better then a dump in the pants. Lol
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## Gone Wishin (Mar 16, 2013)

Dstiner i'd rather dirty my shorts in the middle of a desert than get poison ivy on my back door. Your crazy


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## Saugeye Tom (Oct 6, 2010)

fredg53 said:


> Man been there if ya gotta go go anywhere thats why i always have a bit of tp.
> 
> posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire


thats what we do and DON"T LOOK. in the boat 5 gal bucket


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## olewhiskers (May 10, 2009)

Been lucky myself so far. BUT know a guy that used his cooler and his sock to wipe with. at least the cooler had a tight lid, he chucked it in the dumpster at the docks. I thought to myself hope nobody goes dumpster diving thinking they found a good cooler. still lmao...........


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## Scum_Frog (Apr 3, 2009)

'orangutan hang'

Absolutely Hilarious!

I have fished a few times with a guy who also has crohns....he would grab a bucket fill it up half way "to help from the splash" LOL and also easier clean up....hover over that thing and shoot out baby cosby's....gross and hilarious at the same time.....Ive had some bad experiences and lost a lot of sleeves and socks in the woods.....now I FORCE myself to get something out before ANY trip. I dont want it happening too me lol.

On a side note we went on a quad trip this past weekend and seen three girls get out of a side by side and drop pants right in front of us and all three let out brown bombers.....literally regurgitated in my mouth multiple times! Made a great story but terrible memory. LoL:S


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## Lowell H Turner (Feb 22, 2011)

This just adds to the term "BOMBS AWAY!"


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## Workdog (Jan 10, 2007)

Oh great...went out to catch Crappie and ended up snagging crappy. Sounds like some of you guys need to slap a Boat Waste Disposal sticker on your poop chute.


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## Tightlines (Jun 29, 2012)

I heard of a guy that went out on erie with a charter one day and thought he had to do the #2 so he went down to the 'head'. Closed the door, dropped his pants and he sat down to do business. We'll he was sittin there and the boat was rock'in and all of a sudden he had to throw up. So he wheels around, gets on his knees and as he heaves to puke in the throne #2 sprays out the back across the closed door.


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## IGbullshark (Aug 10, 2012)

i have crohns and luckily i have never had this happen. i have become pretty good at holding it. that being said, i have never been miles away from shore or anything.


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## dstiner86 (Jun 5, 2012)

Tightlines said:


> I heard of a guy that went out on erie with a charter one day and thought he had to do the #2 so he went down to the 'head'. Closed the door, dropped his pants and he sat down to do business. We'll he was sittin there and the boat was rock'in and all of a sudden he had to throw up. So he wheels around, gets on his knees and as he heaves to puke in the throne #2 sprays out the back across the closed door.


Lmfao!!! disgusting but hilarious!!!!


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## rustyfish (Apr 27, 2004)

lucky me, my kayak has that covered.


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## saugmon (Jun 14, 2006)

hang_loose said:


> What could you be charged with if some ranger with an attitude caught you dropping a "Scioto Salmon" off in the woods discretely?


I don't think they could do anything. I always heard the cops can cite you for taking a whizz in public but when it comes to #2,they can't. Guess #1 is usually associated with drinking so you can controll it better. When #2 hits,you can't control that, LOL!

I try to go before I get into the boat. I've never had to do it on Erie but once on Indian. Out in middle of Indian lake and calculating which restroom would be the quickest-chipewa,blackhawk,lakeview harbor,moundwood including length of channels, LOL.


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## I_Shock_Em (Jul 20, 2008)

If you gotta jump in the water to go, just pray that they are sinkers and not floaters  Can't be fun to have a turd roll up your back


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## HookEmUp (Apr 14, 2012)

This thread is hysterical! I cant imagine how awkward it must be to go #2 under water, and being dragged along at the same time.


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## chardoncrestliner (Dec 19, 2012)

Wear "depends," because at my age it's not optional.


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

I was at Griggs with a friend once and he briefly took a dip in the river without saying anything. It was a floater.


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## chardoncrestliner (Dec 19, 2012)

This kind of sums it up.


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## maverick17 (Apr 1, 2012)

I_Shock_Em said:


> If you gotta jump in the water to go, just pray that they are sinkers and not floaters  Can't be fun to have a turd roll up your back


I would do this.

strip nekkid, jump in, shake it out, and pray it don't float.

step 2 - Move to a new honey hole


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## Slatebar (Apr 9, 2011)

Funny thread,,I never had problems on the water.. but it brings back some working days memories when I worked in low coal 28--32 inches. I have seen many, and I mean many men accidently take a dump in the top of they're coveralls.In fact about every new guy does it and the old heads have did it to..(have did it myself) . Think you wouldn't , try putting on a pair pants ,shirt and a pair coveralls ,,, now get in a confined area , say under a table and try doing your thing..lol


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## gerb (Apr 13, 2010)

I_Shock_Em said:


> If you gotta jump in the water to go, just pray that they are sinkers and not floaters  Can't be fun to have a turd roll up your back


i wish. i threw out one hell of a chum trail that went by the boat with my 2 buddies watching in disgust.


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## 9Left (Jun 23, 2012)

Bassnpro1 said:


> TP is the most essential gear on my boat. I have never gone out without it
> 
> 
> Posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire


lol..i dont think anyone has ever "gone" without it!


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## Wow (May 17, 2010)

Does a whodeynati poop in the woods? ...............He does now. --Tim


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## CarpCommander (Jun 20, 2007)

Ive got yall beat.

2 years ago. Bow season. 30' in my hang on treestand. Son, Ive got SKILLS! It was epic.

I cant believe I pulled it off at all. It wasnt pretty.....but ya, when ya gotta go, ya GO.


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## allwayzfishin (Apr 30, 2008)

I always have some wet naps in a ziplock with me.....I feel so fresh and clean after wiping with those....they are free to take at most restaurants. No mudd butt for me when im fishing in 80 degree weather with high humidity.

Funniest thing I ever saw was my buddy, who is a marine force recon sniper, jump in the ocean, tread water for a minute....I looked at him and said, '' dude, what the hell, we are fishing for sharks and you jump in??'' Just keep a look out he says, as a freash turd comes floating up next to him, he then gracefully splashes it away as if it was a little stick. I was laughing so hard when I set the hook on a 5ft blacktip. He jumps up into the boat laughing too. I never forget that. Man, that dude was crazy


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## samfishdyt (Sep 15, 2010)

Angelsweet said:


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My thoughts exactly


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## 7thcorpsFA (Mar 6, 2010)

I_Shock_Em said:


> If you gotta jump in the water to go, just pray that they are sinkers and not floaters  Can't be fun to have a turd roll up your back


 Back when I was in the army, a few buddies and I were at Rough River Lake just a ways south of Ft. Knox Ky. We were partying heavy near a lot of other people and there wasn't anywhere for me to hide while taking a dump. It was one of them real emergencies and I had to think quick. My buddies were laughing at my sudden misery so I walked into the lake up to my neck and started to pinch a few loafs with women and children less than 50yrds away. They thought it was just some drunk fat boy taking a swim in the drink. As the first bomb emerged I was shocked to feel it rollin up my back. Again I had to think fast so I started to walk slowly away from it. I found that if you walk fast it gets sucked into your body, but if you move slowly you can get away from it. Soon I was leaving a trail of evidence behind me and as my drunkin buddies figured out what I was doing they began to piss their pants laughing and calling me all kinds of nasty things. When I was done I cleaned up the leavins with my underwear and emerged from the lake a new man! I became a hero and legend back at Ft. Knox.


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## Snyd (May 5, 2004)

7thcorpFA - That is the funniest thing I have every heard. I fell off my chair reading this. I can't top this so I wont even try.


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## leupy (Feb 12, 2007)

I will do what ever needs done in front of who ever thinks they need to watch with whatever is handy but I am not going to swim with it.


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## SamiFish (Apr 24, 2013)

When I used to row on crew, Hell Week (think 12 hours of training everyday from 8a-8p) would take place on a cruddy lake (unfortunately, Mission Bay in San Diego is not water traffic free beyond 8am or so) where we'd just be pushed until you puked (and then probably some more).

Make a long story short, 24 guys in three 8-man boats with 3 very cute female coxswains (lil people who sit in the back and yell at us to "row!") and my buddy has to go somethin' fierce and we're at least an hour's row from facilities. Worse yet we're all in spandex unies and in the middle of the lake - so we'd be a good row to get to shore too - it's pretty easy to damage your $40k boat landing on beaches that weren't designed for crew boats (it's why we usually launch off piers). [I'm chuckling as I write this and remember.]

My buddy can't take it any longer and announces his predicament. The following scene takes place:

The boats are all stopped. The coxswains are disgusted. Our coaches are just mad as bees in their motorized launch. My buddy has to crawl out of the boat (which is not easy, we all have to tip the other way to keep from flipping - go check out a crew boat if you're not familiar with it and you'll see what i mean) jump into the scummiest grossest water i've seen in awhile (I saw a couple CARP that had died in it), shimmies out of his spandex and swims little circles while simultaneouslyl pooping and treading water but with enough forward movement to try to leave his solid waste in his 'wake.'

It was so weird at the time (esp with the girls there) and we felt so bad for him, we just couldn't even laugh at him or poke fun for at least a few hours.

Thank your lucky stars next time you gotta go on your boat. youve got WAY more options and privacy than my buddy did. Haha, just remember: it could be worse - much worse


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## supercanoe (Jun 12, 2006)

I've pooped off my boat more than once. I used to try to hang over the rail. I have found it more comfortable to lean on the motor and hang out the stern. You have to be close friends with your fishing buddy before you can poop at the other end of the boat from him.


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## dstiner86 (Jun 5, 2012)

@samifish ..that's hilarious!!! Visualizing it had me in almost tears.. However i feel bad for your buddy. Bet he was pretty quiet for awhile after that. 

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## cjbrown (May 22, 2007)

whodeynati said:


> So I was fishing today on the Ohio River. Then about 4 hours into the trip it hit me. I find myself having to take a poop. I had to tough it out for 6 more hours. At times I was absolutely miserable. So my question is what do you guy/gals do if you gotta go?
> Sorry if anyone finds this post tasteless.
> posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire


 Just do not dump it on the middle of the path...


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## cjbrown (May 22, 2007)

CarpCommander said:


> Ive got yall beat.
> 
> 2 years ago. Bow season. 30' in my hang on treestand. Son, Ive got SKILLS! It was epic.
> 
> I cant believe I pulled it off at all. It wasnt pretty.....but ya, when ya gotta go, ya GO.


 LOL, When I first glanced at your screen name, thought it was CrapCommander...


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## Jigging Jim (Apr 3, 2010)

I guess that's why Pirate Ships have a Poop Deck !


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## hang_loose (Apr 2, 2008)

cjbrown, my screen name and yours aren't to far off from CarpCommanders.

Plus others.


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## JimmyZ (May 18, 2004)

whodeynati said:


> Oh I have had my fair share of incidents on shore, but never had it that bad on the boat. I'm guessing next time I'll just beach the boat and go.
> I saw a toilet seat thay snaps onto a 5 gallon bucket. But I'm sure my wife/fishing buddies wouldn't want to see me drop pants and go into that thing... lol
> 
> posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire


Been there, done that. Out on Erie. I got to keep the bucket.


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

I dated a woman who had a Marinette on Indian Lake, it had a lavatory and the toilet had a "macerator" - basically a garbage disposal setup.



> &#1090;&#1077;&#1083;&#1077;&#1092;&#1086;&#1085;&#1072;


That's "telephone" but I can't make out anything else in that spam.


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## WishinIwasFishin (Apr 5, 2005)

Unfortunately I'm a pro.

I have done it many times in Norris Lake and Lake Cumberland - always swim forward and leave in the wake. 

I'm sure I have done it on many banks and if no paper in the river. Always face upstream.

I filled a hollow wheel chock on a small lake while in the boat - twice - on a small lake with houses around.

My 5 year old daughter - I just had her pee in the livewell and flushed it out. Pretty simply actually and mine is shaped like a toilet. I keep solids out.

Always, always have paper on hand.


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## Stampede (Apr 11, 2004)

I try to treat fishing like hunting,allways watch what i eat the night before.Hunting ,i know where the down trees are ,forked limbs work great,and usually have a back rest built in.Always have a p" bucket on the boat for the women and wet ones brand wipes and always know your shore line,where you can pull in.Experence teaches you that!


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## Bonecrusher (Aug 7, 2010)

I used to eat a lot of spicey foods. I had a spot about halfway home from work one day. It was secluded but a house was across the road. I used this spot multiple time in the 10 years I have driven that road home. One day sticks out in my mind.

The day of the hot wing contest at work. For lunch we ordered abot 400 wings and went to town. I wounded up being the winner with 50 or 60. As I am trucking home on the west edge of Delaware it felt like somebody spilled a wheel barrow full of wet concrete into my stomach. I knew it was game on. I floored the old Ford, knowing I had 3 miles to the drop zone. I'm on the country two lane and that old Ford looked like something from the Dukes of Hazzard. I slid sideways into the cemetery parking lot. Jumped out of the truck and headed for the hidden hillside rescue zone. When I got to the hill I missed a step and wound up rolling down the hill screaming in agony. I got to the bottom of the hill and thought I had broken my wiping arm. After I finally got everything handled and got myself cleaned up I started going up the hill. I get to the top of the hill and the guy that lives across the road was waiting for me. He says "what in the hell is your problem?" I explained what happened and he might not want to go down there for a couple days. He started laughing and headed home. About 7 years later I am standing in my girl friends kitchen and got to meet her dad for the first time. You guessed it, the guy from across the road. All he could say was "I know you from somewhere" I had to laugh. Today that same guy is my father in law.


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## 7thcorpsFA (Mar 6, 2010)

Snyd said:


> 7thcorpFA - That is the funniest thing I have every heard. I fell off my chair reading this. I can't top this so I wont even try.


 Glad you enjoyed that one. Here is another. Hope you like it! Back in the early 70's my buddies parents took us to Dale Hollow Lake for a few days of fishing. It was a hot muggy summer morning when his dad said, you guys can take the boat and mother and I will rent one. They were a nice proper family that never uttered a bad word. I was a crude hillbilly child at age 15. It was about 11am when we motored into a creek arm and began to troll. The water was high and submerged trees lined both sides of the creek making it impossible to get close to the shoreline. My plumbing had been locked up for a couple of days when suddenly I felt a bad cramp in my inerds. I says fire up the motor boy and get me to some dry land quick or I'll have to hang this thang over the side and drop a load before your eyes. We went a few hundred yards when we came upon a dry spot that went straight up a mountain. I jumped out and began to climb straight up, grabbing little trees and roots and looking frantically for a place to relieve my pain. I ran out of time about 15ft. up and grabbed onto a small tree that was hanging straight out over the creek. I quickly shimmied out and hung backside down with my feet on the ground and my arms wrapped around the tree. I must have looked like a hairless ape hanging over the creek. Then I yelled at my buddy, " Hey man, check this out!" As the Pringles can sized monster blasted away from the mother ship I couldn't help but think of the B-29 that dropped the Atomic bomb called Fat Man on Japan in WWII! I looked at my friend as the 10 pound peanut log began it's long 15ft. drop into the murky waters. He had turned purple and began gagging violently. I saw the giant specimen hit the water with a loud KER- PLUNK and muddy water splashed into the boat! Looking again at my buddy I saw projectile vomit spraying from his nose and mouth! Soon I slid down to the boat and grabbed some paper towels to wipe my greasy butt. This caused him to lose the remainder of his used gravy and biscuits on top of his Evinrude. I almost felt sorry for him as I yelled, Hey man I'm hungry! Let's go get some lunch!


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## Slyfly76 (Mar 9, 2013)

7thcorpsFA said:


> Glad you enjoyed that one. Here is another. Hope you like it! Back in the early 70's my buddies parents took us to Dale Hollow Lake for a few days of fishing. It was a hot muggy summer morning when his dad said, you guys can take the boat and mother and I will rent one. They were a nice proper family that never uttered a bad word. I was a crude hillbilly child at age 15. It was about 11am when we motored into a creek arm and began to troll. The water was high and submerged trees lined both sides of the creek making it impossible to get close to the shoreline. My plumbing had been locked up for a couple of days when suddenly I felt a bad cramp in my inerds. I says fire up the motor boy and get me to some dry land quick or I'll have to hang this thang over the side and drop a load before your eyes. We went a few hundred yards when we came upon a dry spot that went straight up a mountain. I jumped out and began to climb straight up, grabbing little trees and roots and looking frantically for a place to relieve my pain. I ran out of time about 15ft. up and grabbed onto a small tree that was hanging straight out over the creek. I quickly shimmied out and hung backside down with my feet on the ground and my arms wrapped around the tree. I must have looked like a hairless ape hanging over the creek. Then I yelled at my buddy, " Hey man, check this out!" As the Pringles can sized monster blasted away from the mother ship I couldn't help but think of the B-29 that dropped the Atomic bomb called Fat Man on Japan in WWII! I looked at my friend as the 10 pound peanut log began it's long 15ft. drop into the murky waters. He had turned purple and began gagging violently. I saw the giant specimen hit the water with a loud KER- PLUNK and muddy water splashed into the boat! Looking again at my buddy I saw projectile vomit spraying from his nose and mouth! Soon I slid down to the boat and grabbed some paper towels to wipe my greasy butt. This caused him to lose the remainder of his used gravy and biscuits on top of his Evinrude. I almost felt sorry for him as I yelled, Hey man I'm hungry! Let's go get some lunch!


That might be the funniest dam thing I've ever read, makes me miss when I was young and we were all heatherns.lmao


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## ohiojmj (Apr 16, 2004)

Minnow bucket, tp, rinse well before using bucket.....works for me on lake erie to pinch a bad one off


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## muskyhound (Jan 22, 2011)

7thcorpsFA said:


> Glad you enjoyed that one. Here is another. Hope you like it! Back in the early 70's my buddies parents took us to Dale Hollow Lake for a few days of fishing. It was a hot muggy summer morning when his dad said, you guys can take the boat and mother and I will rent one. They were a nice proper family that never uttered a bad word. I was a crude hillbilly child at age 15. It was about 11am when we motored into a creek arm and began to troll. The water was high and submerged trees lined both sides of the creek making it impossible to get close to the shoreline. My plumbing had been locked up for a couple of days when suddenly I felt a bad cramp in my inerds. I says fire up the motor boy and get me to some dry land quick or I'll have to hang this thang over the side and drop a load before your eyes. We went a few hundred yards when we came upon a dry spot that went straight up a mountain. I jumped out and began to climb straight up, grabbing little trees and roots and looking frantically for a place to relieve my pain. I ran out of time about 15ft. up and grabbed onto a small tree that was hanging straight out over the creek. I quickly shimmied out and hung backside down with my feet on the ground and my arms wrapped around the tree. I must have looked like a hairless ape hanging over the creek. Then I yelled at my buddy, " Hey man, check this out!" As the Pringles can sized monster blasted away from the mother ship I couldn't help but think of the B-29 that dropped the Atomic bomb called Fat Man on Japan in WWII! I looked at my friend as the 10 pound peanut log began it's long 15ft. drop into the murky waters. He had turned purple and began gagging violently. I saw the giant specimen hit the water with a loud KER- PLUNK and muddy water splashed into the boat! Looking again at my buddy I saw projectile vomit spraying from his nose and mouth! Soon I slid down to the boat and grabbed some paper towels to wipe my greasy butt. This caused him to lose the remainder of his used gravy and biscuits on top of his Evinrude. I almost felt sorry for him as I yelled, Hey man I'm hungry! Let's go get some lunch!


Dude I haven't laughed that hard in years, my eyes are still wet and my face hurts from laughing so hard.

I have been lucky so far have been in server pain holding it but never had a problem on the lake.

But give me a Wendy's frosty and I will paint anything you want in 30 minutes after eating one.


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## Silent Mike (Aug 9, 2009)

I recommend the charmin travel baby wipes. You may think to yourself "wow this guy is using baby wipes?!" the following statement is 2 fold: You dont know what you are missing! 1.) It gets the job done quicker, and 2.) you literally dont know what you are missing, its like taking a shower with a dry towel. The dry TP is for damage control and the wet wipes are special forces hahaha


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## gerb (Apr 13, 2010)

peanut log!? thanks for the laugh hahahahha


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## Lowell H Turner (Feb 22, 2011)

Once upon a "Wild Kingdom" type show actually watched a segment where a grizzly bear cops a squat and then ambles on over to a large pine tree, raises his little stub tail and wiped his butt. I could not help but to wince at the thought of using the roughest toughest kind of "toilet paper" other than maybe a boulder...


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## jshbuckeye (Feb 27, 2005)

if you need answers the net has em


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## 7thcorpsFA (Mar 6, 2010)

jshbuckeye said:


> Loop N' Poopâ¢ - YouTube if you need answers the net has em


 That's a great idea for the weak! But half the fun for me is finding just the right log or rock to giter done! I can think of a few times when that strap would have been handy though. Like the time I backed up to a tree in an extreme emergency. I leaned my back against it without taking proper precautions. When I got home I realized that I had a terrible case of poison ivy up my crack and lower back. I still have scares from that dump!


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## Burks (Jun 22, 2011)

Does a fisherman crap in the woods?

Only one way to find out


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## dstiner86 (Jun 5, 2012)

Burks said:


> Does a fisherman crap in the woods?
> 
> Only one way to find out


I almost did saturday... I knew I should of forcefully relieved bowels because 2 miles into a 9 mile trip I was ready to explode... luckily I talked myself out of it cuz I lm partial to my socks had no tp and the water seemed cold... but end the end I should of just did it cuz I went into the river after tipping the yak and it actually wasn't as cold as I thought. .definitely not to cold to clean off myself instead of enduring another 2 miles till the "I gotta go now" sensation passed..

posted using Outdoor Hub Campfire


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## guppygill (May 8, 2004)

Ha ha, all good ones. I was fishing the ohio river on shore at New Cumberland, had to go real bad, fishing by the old brick factory, bricks laying all around. I managed to build a square toilet out of bricks behind a tree, and cut loose. Used my damn fishing towel to clean up. 

One early morning, while driving van to go fishing, had to go so bad, I pulled side of road real quick, jumped in back of van with my floor mat, went, and then had to toss floor mat.


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## FOSR (Apr 16, 2008)

> a grizzly bear cops a squat


There's an old Soviet joke that a Russian army general was unfortunately eaten by a bear. It was awful, the poor bear was crapping medals for three days.


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## Gone Wishin (Mar 16, 2013)

Found this on the net....


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