# how long can you stay mad



## sherman51 (Apr 12, 2011)

hey everybody
im just needing to vent. and you guys seem to be very understanding.

i have a son who is 28, he doesnt have a job or any income. what he does have is a girlfriend and 2 beautiful little girls. so they are living with us. and i just get tired of giving them money i really dont have. but those girls have to be taken care of. well when i can find something for them to do i will hire them to do it. just makes sence. well yesterday i hired him to change my oil. then alittle later a friend borrowed my car to go get a water line. he called and said the car had died. so i went to him. when i got there he had the hood up and the dip stick in his hand. he said it didnt have any oil. well one time i had changed the oil and the old seal from the filter had stuck to the motor. and i had told him to watch for this. so i just knew thats what it was. so i went home to get some oil. but i knew it probably wouldnt help. when i got to the house i looked around and didnt see any oil anywhere that it would have leaked out. so i went into my fishing pole barn(which is what my wife named it)but i checked my oil supply, and there was nothing missing. i checked the trash for empty bottles, there was none. and he was gone. but it turnes out he forgot to put the oil back in. i have done pretty good so far i havent yelled at him, but i have been pretty hateful. he has changed my oil a 100 times. but i always check them afterwards. is it partly my fault for not checking it before letting the car be used?? i feel like it is, but i just cant seem to get over being mad at him. i know he is awful forgetful, but i never dreamed he could do something like this. he was on his way back home because he remembered at the store that he had got oil in his hair and went in to clean up and didnt go back out and put oil in it. so is it as much my fault for loaning the car without checking it. and to someone who i know would never look at the guages right after the oil being changed. i taught my son after you change the oil to check it then start it and make sure you have pressure then look for any leaks, then shut it off and check the oil again and top it off as needed. they are always just alittle low after the filter gets full. just how long can i stay mad?? untill i get the money to fix it. this really puts a kink in my plans. my boat is in the shop, i,ve got to pay for it. i was planning on geneva next month and then 2 weeks the first of aug. this money would go along way towards fixing our car. but i just bought this boat and all new rigging for it. im just afraid if i dont get to use it atleast in aug i may never be able to forgive him. and it could be alot worse. we do still have a truck to drive for now. please let me know your thoughts on this mess.
sherman


----------



## M.Magis (Apr 5, 2004)

This is none of my business, but I think it may be time for a talk. About more than changing oil&#8230;.. There comes a time when everyone has to man up, and he reached that time when he had his first child. Good luck.


----------



## AC_ESS (Nov 15, 2008)

Sounds like there are other issues at hand. Its time for someone to grow up and get a big boy job, appartment and take care of his family. 
As far as the car I hope the engine did not lock up because of no oil, if so I hope You have ins.
As far as how long can you be mad, is this the straw that broke the camels back?


----------



## Intimidator (Nov 25, 2008)

Hey Sherman, It's time for some "Tough Love"! He is way past the point of having you raise him and his family, he's not going to find a job with you taking care of his responsibilities. Set a firm date for him to have a job and then set a date for him and his family to be out! He has responsibilities that are his and he needs to take care of them the best he can! Be calm but firm!


----------



## 5Cent (Jun 4, 2004)

Sherman you have every reason to be mad, you wouldn't be human if you weren't! The car issue seems like it is the last straw, especially since your life and your $ has to change even more to make up for a "absolutely, irresponsible, I forgot moment"! I'm sure if it were his car, he would have remembered to put oil in it.

I agree with the previous 2 posts, it's time for a talk. One thing I didn't read was how long they have been under your roof. If he was working and lost his job and you're helping them for a bit, that is understandable. If he's been there since he graduated HS, hasn't attempted to move his life along, meanwhile brining 2 new ones into this world...oohh boy.

As a 28yr old myself, I could never freeload off my parents, and I don't think it's right that parents allow their children to do that. What does it teach them? Seems most people my age (and definitely younger generations) don't respect anything that is not theirs, or think things come easy in life. 

If the talk doesn't go well (he better darn listen to what you have to say!), maybe it's time to boot him out, raise your granddaughters the right way under your roof until he gets a solid foundation. I don't know your family situation (wife, work, $), so only u know what's best. But I promise you deserve to live the life you want, how you want, and where you want, without anyone else getting in the way!


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

Put me in the group that says it's time for a SERIOUS man to man,father to son talk. He may get mad at you for laying down the law but it seems that's exactly what's needed in this case. He as a man and father should want to do everything and anything possible to provide for his family (legally). While I was outta work last year it ate at me everyday until I got a job that all the finacial burden was placed on my wife. You sound like a good guy/father and should be able to enjoy your life now without the added pressures of helping to raise him,his woman,and their kids. Sit him down and explain it to him calmly,firmly,and compassionately and let the chips fall where they may.Good luck to you and may you find the answer/solution you're seeking.


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Well its none of my business but since you posted this on here it kinda opens the door for opinions , good or bad. But if he is like this at 28 , I would say he has been mooching off dear old dad for wayyy too long now. Time for some tough love and a lesson on reality. I would set a time limit for him to find a job and if he dont have one by that time , even if its just flipping burgers at Mcdonalds , the wife and kids can stay but he has to move out. The whole car fiasco just shows he needs to learn responsibility and he never will unless he has to bear the consequences for his actions. You have every right to be mad , he is not a child any more , he should be raising his own kids , not still being raised by his parents. Sorry for being so blunt about it but I have family members like this and it really bugs me that their parents dont do something about it , they just keep letting the adult children use and take advantage of them with no end in sight.


----------



## creekcrawler (Oct 5, 2004)

Sorry, but gotta chime in here.

When I was 23, I started my own business.
Before I was your son's age, I bought my house.

You are just making it worse. The kid has no job, but you let him move in his girlfriend and kids?? You gotta be kidding me.

If he has no income & nowhere to live, he has absolutely no business worrying about a girlfriend right now (or two kids).

Hate to say it, but you're just being an _enabler_.

I'm sure it can't be easy with your own kid, but time for some _really tough love_ there.

And, at 28 years old, you shold be able to at least handle an oil change! I would killed him! And you are being gullible enough to ask if it might be your fault??


----------



## 10fish (May 12, 2005)

Kinda in the same spot but it's with my sister and brother in law. Yep tough love- told them the two girls ( 2 & 4) can stay with me, I'll feed em keep em safe until you get it together BUT you two mooching grown ups need to get out. They have been hopping from house to house wearing out their welcome, but at least the little ones are safe , well fed , and happy. As much as it pains me to see family making wrong choices , they are grown and they can sleep under a bridge if thats all they want out of life. BUT the little ones deserve better and thats where my concern stops. To answer your question, I will stop being angry with them , when they give me good reason. 

" the saying is in the doing- so less saying and more doing"


----------



## firstflight111 (May 22, 2008)

time to man up ..i was out of my mom and dads at 17 ...i now have my own house 3 kids and a wife ..at 40 i am retired house is paid for .both suvs are paid for ..liveing the good life now... i can go fishing or hunting when ever i want... i can take the kids anywere they want to go because i am not straped down with a sucky job ....oh i worked my butt of when i was young .i put in 12 to 16 hour days 7 days a week to get what i have now ..now i can kick back and enjoy my kids and my life


----------



## sherman51 (Apr 12, 2011)

yea i pretty much understand where all of you are coming from. and we would have already put him and his girlfriend on the street. but me and my wife just are not able to take care of 2 small girls. we are both in bad health. and im not going to go into that. now when they do get just alittle older if things arent a whole lot better then we will keep the girls and send them on there way. i really would like to see him find a deacent job and move out. there just isnt much around here right now. i know that, and there is alot of people out of work. i did want to hear from some people outside looking in. and i feel pretty much just like you guys do. i just needed to vent alittle and get alittle support on my feelings. and so far i havent been dissapointed. but i am really just pissed about the car. but it can be fixed. i could not put them out with 2 small granddaughters 1 still in diapers. but like i say i make it very clear to them it wont be long before we will be able to care for the girls. and not only have i taken care of myself since i was 14, but also helped my mother take care of my brothers and sisters for years. after i got married and couldnt find work shortly there after, so i joined the marine corps so i could provide for my wife. and worked 12 to 16 hours a day sometimes 7 days a week, after i got out so i could raise my kids, and fish and hunt. now i am disabled and do good just to fish alittle. thanks to all you guys that have posted. i needed to hear what you have to say. and that it is ok for me to stay pissed for alittle while.LOL.
sherman


----------



## JamesT (Jul 22, 2005)

nice to know we've got at least one "modern-day Horatio Alger Jr" type on here.


----------



## Bonecrusher (Aug 7, 2010)

Kick the boy out keep the girls. Let him live on the street for a month or stay with friends. Eventually the friends will get sick of the crap and will cut him loose as well. It sounds like your son needs a real swift kick in the a**. Sorry but I am going through the same thing with my brother and your post really touched a nerve. I am going through the same crap. 

It's hard to do but it seems like it is long, long overdue.


----------



## jcustunner24 (Aug 20, 2007)

M.Magis said:


> This is none of my business, but I think it may be time for a talk. About more than changing oil.. There comes a time when everyone has to man up, and he reached that time when he had his first child. Good luck.


Very well put. Sherman, you sound like a good man, but you don't need to know our life stories to know that your son is taking advantage of you. Judging from what little we do know of you (disabled, incapable of taking care of his kids without his help) then if your son has any compassion he'll hear your plea, get a job, and help dad out. Venting's great, and it's nice to have a place to do it, but in this instance anything short of having a talk with him just prolongs the inevitable.

Good luck.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

I think there are a few things people should keep in mind here...Times have changed..I am not siding with this guys son...But gas isn't 50 cents a gallon anymore and you are gonna be hard pressed to find a DECENT place to rent for under $400 a month...Some of you expressed how great you're doing and how great you were when you were young...Some of that might have came from luck and such..But not everyone can just start their own business or get lined up for a great job without some help..I went to high school with a guy who graduated with me in 2003...Went straight to college...Now he makes almost 100k a year working at the Perry nuclear power plant...He brags alot when we go out..But you know,he never tells strangers how his old man got him that job and how he works with him daily!..Sure this guy's kid could probably use a nudge or two...But this is also a bad time for many people in general...Times are different now..Back in 15 years ago people could get a chance...Now it's a battle to be the perfect candidate for even simple entry level positions at many places..As a 26 year old,this is a very trying and scary time for many,young and old..The 80's and 90's were great to my parents and many other people...Times have changed along with the opportunities..As a young person I just wanted to throw this out there...


----------



## yonderfishin (Apr 9, 2006)

Iraqvet said:


> I think there are a few things people should keep in mind here...Times have changed..I am not siding with this guys son...But gas isn't 50 cents a gallon anymore and you are gonna be hard pressed to find a DECENT place to rent for under $400 a month...Some of you expressed how great you're doing and how great you were when you were young...Some of that might have came from luck and such..But not everyone can just start their own business or get lined up for a great job without some help..I went to high school with a guy who graduated with me in 2003...Went straight to college...Now he makes almost 100k a year working at the Perry nuclear power plant...He brags alot when we go out..But you know,he never tells strangers how his old man got him that job and how he works with him daily!..Sure this guy's kid could probably use a nudge or two...But this is also a bad time for many people in general...Times are different now..Back in 15 years ago people could get a chance...Now it's a battle to be the perfect candidate for even simple entry level positions at many places..As a 26 year old,this is a very trying and scary time for many,young and old..The 80's and 90's were great to my parents and many other people...Times have changed along with the opportunities..As a young person I just wanted to throw this out there...



Things are different now than they were years ago , but jobs are out there even if its working fast food or convenience store. You cant pay many bills with that but its a start and a contribution. Times are tough , thats for sure , but there is work out there. If nothing else , companies are always looking for truck drivers. I think the biggest problem is some have more trouble "leaving the nest" than others and need a little extra coaxing.


----------



## jallen100 (Jul 15, 2008)

WOW 28 and still acting like this? There is no excuse at 28. I would tell the girls they can stay and toss him.


----------



## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

My son graduated in Dec. I let him loaf for 2 weeks but I told him the day after Xmas we were going to sit down and put together a plan to get him a job. I yold him I don't expect you to find your dream job but you need to find something and once you find something you can always keep looking. He polished his resume , put together a list of possible employers and started the search. He landed a teller job with PNC bank at $9.50 hour. He was good at it but hated the bank. Within a month he had two other jobs offer and accepted one of them . Much Much more money.

Bottomline - Both him and/or his G.F. need to get off their butts and start working. Even if they don't have any education, they can clean houses, offices, churches etc. She can provide daycare , babysitting. Maybe he can't work at Lubestop but he can cut grass, spread mulch, paint houses ( I started an exterior house painting company while in H.S. just placing ads in the local newspaper). Both of them should be able to find something that they have the skills or knowledge to do!


----------



## lordofthepunks (Feb 24, 2009)

Iraqvet said:


> I think there are a few things people should keep in mind here...Times have changed..I am not siding with this guys son...But gas isn't 50 cents a gallon anymore and you are gonna be hard pressed to find a DECENT place to rent for under $400 a month...Some of you expressed how great you're doing and how great you were when you were young...Some of that might have came from luck and such..But not everyone can just start their own business or get lined up for a great job without some help..I went to high school with a guy who graduated with me in 2003...Went straight to college...Now he makes almost 100k a year working at the Perry nuclear power plant...He brags alot when we go out..But you know,he never tells strangers how his old man got him that job and how he works with him daily!..Sure this guy's kid could probably use a nudge or two...But this is also a bad time for many people in general...Times are different now..Back in 15 years ago people could get a chance...Now it's a battle to be the perfect candidate for even simple entry level positions at many places..As a 26 year old,this is a very trying and scary time for many,young and old..The 80's and 90's were great to my parents and many other people...Times have changed along with the opportunities..As a young person I just wanted to throw this out there...


$400 a month for rent, yes, right. whats minimum wage? $7.80? you got a girlfriend who will live with you, thats another $7.80

80 x 7.80 = 624 per week, thats 2500 per month, minus 30% for taxes equal $1750 per month, is that not enough to pay for section 8 housing? sorry im off track, i get so aggervated when someone suggests society is holding everyone down. if you work hard and smart enough you create your own opportunities and sometimes taking a crappy job is the only way to be responsible for yourself. its called self accountability, take responsibility for your decisions and actions, its not societies fault. 28 years old is plenty old enough to be self reliant, even if you have to do it with a low paying job.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

I know Muncie,Ind is probably worst than anywhere in Ohio when it comes to jobs.Even a job at a carryout store probably has hundreds of applicants applying.Regardless that guy needs to get on the ball.At 28 he should be contributing to ole Dad not sucking what resources he has away.Sit the guy down for a reality check tonight.


----------



## papaperch (Apr 12, 2004)

Not to pick on anybody or any idea. But I cannot help think of this quotation I read somewhere. " Man is the only animal that is stupid enough to enable his offspring to freeload off of him . " Where can one draw the line between mollycoddling and just trying to help ? I sure as heck on't know all the answers . But in 63 years of life that I have lived so far taught me this. The more you pet a child , especially a male child , the more reliant on you he becomes. To be a constant safety net for wrong choices and bad luck teaches the young adult to remain a child.

Nothing invigorates a job search like the " missed meal " cramps. Comfort and a full belly has the opposite effect. I suffered in the sixties through my tough times and again in the early 80's. So I am not talking with a silver spoon hanging out of my mouth.

Regardless of what some of the younger folk think these are not the only tough times that this country has gone through. Government and/or parents are not the way to prosperity. But they are a way to learn to rely on others .


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

There's two ways to get a job in America these days. One, join the military. Two, through a temp agency for minimum wage. Its the old farts that complain about how the world is these's days that made it this way.


----------



## Tokugawa (Apr 29, 2008)

Without knowing the details...it is hard to say what to do. There are a lot of folks without jobs right now and it is not their doing. If family falls on hard times, it always the right thing to take them in and live together again.

If he is looking for work and putting in an earnest, honest effort to provide, then encouragement might work better than anything else...especially if he is feeling down about not finding work. If he is not putting forth an honest effort, then instruction might work better than anything else.

As far as the car goes, it seems he was willing to work but did not pay attention. If you don't forgive, will your life be better with bitterness? Will his life be better? Will he know you love him more or less if there is no forgiveness? You can do it...but it is not easy.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

CatchNrelease said:


> There's two ways to get a job in America these days. One, join the military. Two, through a temp agency for minimum wage. Its the old farts that complain about how the world is these's days that made it this way.



Man now that's really showing we,"the ole farts" some respect.How do you think you got to where you are today?How do you think your very existence exist? Have you looked at your present and past employers lately? Chances are they are the "ole farts" you speak so disrespectfully of now.Not all of we "ole farts" as you put it so delicately brought our present economical situation upon us all.Most of those responsible now are younger than me.Didn't your parents ever tell you "respect your elders"? Many of those "ole farts" have died and suffered serving this country to give you the freedom to speak your gibberish today.Try to remember that please, out of respect if nothing more.


----------



## boatnut (Nov 22, 2006)

Iraqvet said:


> I think there are a few things people should keep in mind here...Times have changed..I am not siding with this guys son...But gas isn't 50 cents a gallon anymore and you are gonna be hard pressed to find a DECENT place to rent for under $400 a month...Some of you expressed how great you're doing and how great you were when you were young...Some of that might have came from luck and such..But not everyone can just start their own business or get lined up for a great job without some help..I went to high school with a guy who graduated with me in 2003...Went straight to college...Now he makes almost 100k a year working at the Perry nuclear power plant...He brags alot when we go out..But you know,he never tells strangers how his old man got him that job and how he works with him daily!..Sure this guy's kid could probably use a nudge or two...But this is also a bad time for many people in general...Times are different now..Back in 15 years ago people could get a chance...Now it's a battle to be the perfect candidate for even simple entry level positions at many places..As a 26 year old,this is a very trying and scary time for many,young and old..The 80's and 90's were great to my parents and many other people...Times have changed along with the opportunities..As a young person I just wanted to throw this out there...


Iraq,
I hear what you're saying....times are tough...BUT...one has to take responsibility for their actions. He's fathered two kids and still living off his parents. C'mon, is that responsible? He's gotta learn one way or the other.

Sherman....as others have said...time for "tough love". sorry! Oh, and can you put some paragraphs' in your posts? I know you can be long winded and that is fine but sometimes it's hard to read, at least for these old eyes


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Mike quit trying to read playboy and posts at the same time,it'll help


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

puterdude said:


> Man now that's really showing we,"the ole farts" some respect.How do you think you got to where you are today?How do you think your very existence exist? Have you looked at your present and past employers lately? Chances are they are the "ole farts" you speak so disrespectfully of now.Not all of we "ole farts" as you put it so delicately brought our present economical situation upon us all.Most of those responsible now are younger than me.Didn't your parents ever tell you "respect your elders"? Many of those "ole farts" have died and suffered serving this country to give you the freedom to speak your gibberish today.Try to remember that please, out of respect if nothing more.


Dude Peter, start over right now. You have no job, no home, zip....You can be one of the lucky people and have a job making 8 dollar's an hour. Now you solely provide for your family. At the end of the week when the only thing you can do with your paycheck is provide gas money to get to work next week, I'll hear your story again. I wasn't disrespecting you or anybody else, I'm telling you its a lot harder the you "old fart" make it out to be.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

First off the name is Puterdude not Dude Peter,having trouble with English tonight are you also.Secondly wise one you don't know me so you know nothing of any of the hardships I've faced in my life.Do you think you're the first one facing hard times? If you do you need to lose some of the self pity and replace it with some fortitude and make your life better.It's not my nor any older person's fault as already stated.Life is what you make it,during hard times you work two 40 hour jobs as I have in the past if need be.It's hard for most of us now just not younger people with children.Just because we are older doesn't mean we have a vault of cash at home to draw upon.
I feel sorry for everyone now during this hard time,everyone period and in case you haven't been told,bear down, for it's about to get harder before it gets better for any of us.I'm sorry you're having it rough as you've stated but if you look around you'll see some with worst situations than yours.With some luck all of our situations will improve in a few years.I hope anyway but I'm not seeing the sign now or anytime soon.


----------



## viper1 (Apr 13, 2004)

Sorry but at 28 no job and dad supports him you have bigger troubles.There is no reason that kid shouldnt be working.Know a lot of kids supporting a house and child on 6-10 dollars a hour. If thats not enough get two jobs. Worked two most my life. No one says life is easy. But no one owes you a living even your parents.


----------



## BigDub007 (Apr 1, 2010)

Guess what times are hard but Tim Hortons paid for my boat my house and my three cars.........I started at the bottom and worked my way up......You better have that boy of yours flippin burgers........


----------



## BigDub007 (Apr 1, 2010)

CatchNrelease said:


> Dude Peter, start over right now. You have no job, no home, zip....You can be one of the lucky people and have a job making 8 dollar's an hour. Now you solely provide for your family. At the end of the week when the only thing you can do with your paycheck is provide gas money to get to work next week, I'll hear your story again. I wasn't disrespecting you or anybody else, I'm telling you its a lot harder the you "old fart" make it out to be.[/QUOT
> 
> Eight dollars an hour can work If you dont live like a slob....When i got married I was a shift manager @ Tim Hortons making 8 $ I busted my hump moved up in the company now I live in a nice house, nice nieghborhood dont borrow money for gas , also am verry proud of everything I have worked for the past couple years......Its better than nothing and for anyone to tell me I am not sucsesfull I just show them a picture of my beautiful wife ,kid and home.....With a bad attitude you will just be one of the crew members I give 10 hrs. a week to ......


----------



## sonar (Mar 20, 2005)

Sherman,,I can respect your feelings for a son, and those 2 little granddaughters, also the frustration of a grown man,with so little motivation,to provide for their future?? The "TALK", & some jobs,are the way to build self respect,and pride,,,and a bank account ..Also make the money,(hand outs) a little harder to get, and keep an open ledger,of the money handed out on the 'fridge,so they are aware of how fast that crap adds up,,and occasionally, point it out to them,and sincerely ask them,what can be done to genuinely step up and be a contributor in this house, and not an expense??? Times are tough!! BUT,,,to compete with adversity,there must be more diversity, take that job that you may not want,, for the time being,and find,that there is a good chance something else will develop,from it,if not there,,maybe through there... God bless your good hearted'ness, Sherman,!%hang in there Trooper! ----->>>>>sonar<<<<<-----


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

puterdude said:


> First off the name is Puterdude not Dude Peter,having trouble with English tonight are you also.Secondly wise one you don't know me so you know nothing of any of the hardships I've faced in my life.Do you think you're the first one facing hard times? If you do you need to lose some of the self pity and replace it with some fortitude and make your life better.It's not my nor any older person's fault as already stated.Life is what you make it,during hard times you work two 40 hour jobs as I have in the past if need be.It's hard for most of us now just not younger people with children.Just because we are older doesn't mean we have a vault of cash at home to draw upon.
> I feel sorry for everyone now during this hard time,everyone period and in case you haven't been told,bear down, for it's about to get harder before it gets better for any of us.I'm sorry you're having it rough as you've stated but if you look around you'll see some with worst situations than yours.With some luck all of our situations will improve in a few years.I hope anyway but I'm not seeing the sign now or anytime soon.


I'm doing fine, don't worry about me. I just have compassion and respect for people who are struggling to make means meet right now. 30 years ago they were making the same as what there paying now. The difference? Gas, groceries, mortgages, etc. are sky high. I understand it makes it harder for you also, but your foundation was laid already. Starting from scratch these days is 10 times harder than starting from nothing back then. For any of us the think is was tougher back then is just being stubborn.


----------



## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

CatchNrelease said:


> I'm doing fine, don't worry about me. I just have compassion and respect for people who are struggling to make means meet right now. 30 years ago they were making the same as what there paying now. The difference? Gas, groceries, mortgages, etc. are sky high. I understand it makes it harder for you also, but your foundation was laid already. Starting from scratch these days is 10 times harder than starting from nothing back then. For any of us the think is was tougher back then is just being stubborn.


Thirty years ago I bought my first house. I got a VA loan at 12.5% interest. I was lucky when I applied the 30 year fixed rate was 14%. Mortgages are cheap now and so are the costs of homes if you are in the market to buy.....


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

Snakecharmer said:


> Thirty years ago I bought my first house. I got a VA loan at 12.5% interest. I was lucky when I applied the 30 year fixed rate was 14%. Mortgages are cheap now and so are the costs of homes if you are in the market to buy.....


In the 70's you could by a new home for 50,000 now there 200,000


----------



## boatnut (Nov 22, 2006)

puterdude said:


> Mike quit trying to read playboy and posts at the same time,it'll help


it's in-fisherman, dude peter!!!! LOL


----------



## sherman51 (Apr 12, 2011)

boatnut said:


> Iraq,
> I hear what you're saying....times are tough...BUT...one has to take responsibility for their actions. He's fathered two kids and still living off his parents. C'mon, is that responsible? He's gotta learn one way or the other.
> 
> Sherman....as others have said...time for "tough love". sorry! Oh, and can you put some paragraphs' in your posts? I know you can be long winded and that is fine but sometimes it's hard to read, at least for these old eyes



i am just alittle sorry about the long paragraphs. but my thoughts were just all running together, so thats just how i put it down. i,ll just stop at that.

thank you all for your input.
sherman


----------



## sherman51 (Apr 12, 2011)

puterdude said:


> First off the name is Puterdude not Dude Peter,having trouble with English tonight are you also.Secondly wise one you don't know me so you know nothing of any of the hardships I've faced in my life.Do you think you're the first one facing hard times? If you do you need to lose some of the self pity and replace it with some fortitude and make your life better.It's not my nor any older person's fault as already stated.Life is what you make it,during hard times you work two 40 hour jobs as I have in the past if need be.It's hard for most of us now just not younger people with children.Just because we are older doesn't mean we have a vault of cash at home to draw upon.
> I feel sorry for everyone now during this hard time,everyone period and in case you haven't been told,bear down, for it's about to get harder before it gets better for any of us.I'm sorry you're having it rough as you've stated but if you look around you'll see some with worst situations than yours.With some luck all of our situations will improve in a few years.I hope anyway but I'm not seeing the sign now or anytime soon.



hey dude peter.LOL,LOL.
i,ll gladly take your wisdom any day. you seem to have gained alot in your few short years. sorry about the intro but we all need alittle laugh sometimes.
sherman


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

I'm taking my ball and going home,you guys don't play fair


----------



## jiggerman (Nov 2, 2009)

The question is not how long you stay mad, you have a responsibility to your children to move them along with thier own life. You are a parent not a keeper. Help him set some goals an achieve them and explain it in a way that benefits him and his children, you are crippling him and his wife by keeping them under your wing. We as men are put on earth to achieve our own success. If your son is crippled or handicapped than i understand. There is a website called lifewithoutlimbs.org and i recommend this to people who are full of excuses and talk like they will never amount to anything. This a man that inspires me and my children to achieve as much as possible in life before the end comes. I wish you and your family the best in this situation and hope you find a way to help him and her become successful adults. Good Luck


----------



## FISNFOOL (May 12, 2009)

You are not helping your son by enabling him to not grow up and be responsible.

I used to work 2 part time jobs when I could not find full time work. Kept the family fed and a roof over their head.

Example: Almost 2 years ago my son got laid off from his career job and has not worked since. He could not find another INSTANT CAREER position. His girlfriend lives with him, she was not working either. Never kept a job more than a few months.

Two months ago I told them *the bank is closed*

2 weeks ago she found full time work at McDonald's. My son just applied for a *J-O-B* in the assembly department of a factory. He starts Monday.

Motivation??????????? Their Benefits run out soon and they would not be able to buy food or pay the rent. Strange how after I stopped covering the slack, they found work.


----------



## Mushijobah (May 4, 2004)

Lots of chatter on here about what should be done about lazy children, the economy, and jobs.....maybe we should all quit posting on internet forums so much and get back out into the world


----------



## Lundy (Apr 5, 2004)

Are the times tougher now or are the people just softer today.

It seems that all who want to state that times were easier in the "old days" weren't alive in the "old days" to see what it took to try and make it all work.

Can't find a decent job today? Then go and get 2, 1/2 way decent jobs. That is what I had to do. I am one of those old guys that had it so easy back in the days. I worked two jobs for 6 years, 16 hrs a day 6 days a week just to pay the bills. We had figgin sheets hanging on our windows, couldn't afford curtains, one car that constantly broke down, ate stupid beans rice almost very meal forever, had zero extra money for anything. I had to ask my parents for help one time for a medical bill and we repaid them over 6 months a little at a time. I wanted a boat for 25 years before i could justify, or had the spare cash to buy one. blah, blah, blah, blah

Fast forward to today. I have had custody of two of my granddaughters for 10 years, I have a daughter and son-in-law that sing the woe is me song all day long. Tell me how tough it is to find a job and make it financially. Actually told me it is my responsibility to help them because I'm her dad. She now has a 5 year old daughter that I make sure is Ok but them.....they need to at least make efforts to try and help themselves before they get help from me, blah, blah, blah, blah

All of you young guys that want to tell everyone how tough it is and it's not as easy as it was in the "old days" need to man up pretty fast and quit whining. You really, really, don't know what you are talking about, you only know what you have been told by all of the other woe is me crowd.

Personal responsibility and accountability. Only you can make your life better

Dude Peter I like it


----------



## Lundy (Apr 5, 2004)

I forgot.

I agree completely that right now our economy sucks and it is tough, much tougher than 2-1/2 years ago. Many of us old guys have actually lived through and survived some really bad recessions, economic conditions and policies. 

It will get better.


----------



## crappiedude (Mar 12, 2006)

You know I have to say when I look back to the mid-70's when I got out of the Air Force I kind of felt the same way as some of these younger guys on here. I thought life was just harder on our generation. With the Viet Nam war almost over and troops coming back in country and lots of guys getting early dimissals out of the military, it was tough getting a job. All the guys who's families had money sent their kids to college and they were getting the jobs. I kind of forgot about all that. It really isn't that much different than today. I think unemloyment was running aroud 10% but as someone mentioned interest was way higher, 12% was pretty good back then.
It's kind of funny how some of these guys think they invented "lifes tough".
I'm now and in the position to hire people on occasion. I have guys who call me to ask for work. I tell most of them the same thing. I don't have anything right now but feel free to call back. When they call back a second or third time I ask if they will come in and fill out an application and so I can meet them. I explain I don't have anything right now but I need their phone numbers just in case.
I know these guys have no training in our line of work.
I'm glad to say, I had the opportunity to hire a guy who was persistent enough to call me off and on for 1 1/2 years. I actually had a few other openings prior that he missed simply because I didn't have his phone number. The other guys I hired all did the same thing, they called and then called back. These jobs are all entry level jobs. If they do well they move up every 90 days till they get to a decent starting pay.
My point is "ya can just give up." Sometimes ya have to do something a little different.
I'll tell ya right now if you are just putting in applications, it's not enough. Follow it up with a phone call. Anyone who just leaves an application, I throw it away. If they follow it up with a phone call, I keep it. If they call a few weeks later, I'm interested.
A friend of mine who is in his late 50's was laid off. He got a new job but hated every minute of it. He kept looking and putting in applications. He wasn't getting any hits. He interviewed for a job that really peaked his interest, I told him he should call them back and tell them he really would like the job. He more or less told me I was nuts and I was just different. Well, he called them back and got the job.
Like others have said, there is plenty of work out there, you just have to find it. No one is going to come looking for you.


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

I know exactly what I'm talking about, and I've gave you example after example why it is harder. All you guys come back with is ohhh I worked 2 jobs blah, blah, blah. Good for you, you don't think people work 2 jobs these days? Tell me something about your early years that made it so much harder to get buy than it is now, I'd love to hear about it.


----------



## jcustunner24 (Aug 20, 2007)

Lundy said:


> Are the times tougher now or are the people just softer today.
> 
> It seems that all who want to state that times were easier in the "old days" weren't alive in the "old days" to see what it took to try and make it all work.


What a great point. I wasn't alive in the "old days" but I can tell you that my dad worked harder than I've ever had to just to make sure our family was comfortable. My generation (I am 31) seems to be comfortable blaming extenuating circumstances and previous generations for our issues.

I lost my job in February and the company I worked for fought my unemployment tooth and nail. I was told by several former coworkers that I had a "case" on my hands. I never sought a lawsuit. I never complained about the reason for our separation. I took a few weeks to enjoy myself and go fishing and then I went and found a job. That doesn't make me special or important, it makes me a product of the previous generation. Those who make the wild speculation that the previous generation is to blame for the current situation are terribly out of touch. Without the guidance and training that the baby boomers have provided us, we'd be hopeless. If you've chosen to neglect that, it's time to look in the mirror. My dad (63) and all of his friends, inspire me to always strive to achieve better things for myself. I've been working for 15 years, and this year was the first time I've "lost" my job, but I don't look for blame. I look for a path to make sure I never find myself in a similar situation.

Hopefully Sherman is able to let his son know there are paths he can take.


----------



## gobrowntruck21 (Jan 3, 2009)

I don't know about all the other stuff, but I just want to know how a guy forgets to put oil in the car after he just drained out the old stuff??? That sucks. I'd be mad for years about that one.


----------



## jcustunner24 (Aug 20, 2007)

crappiedude said:


> Like others have said, there is plenty of work out there, you just have to find it. No one is going to come looking for you.


I don't want to come across like the guy who agrees with the next generation just to say he did, but this is so accurate. The company I used to work for relocated/consolidated, and I've seen every level of the spectrum. If you make the effort to find work, it's there.


----------



## jiggerman (Nov 2, 2009)

Work work work makes fun fun fun amen god bless america


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

Iraqvet said:


> I think there are a few things people should keep in mind here...Times have changed..I am not siding with this guys son...But gas isn't 50 cents a gallon anymore and you are gonna be hard pressed to find a DECENT place to rent for under $400 a month...Some of you expressed how great you're doing and how great you were when you were young...Some of that might have came from luck and such..But not everyone can just start their own business or get lined up for a great job without some help..I went to high school with a guy who graduated with me in 2003...Went straight to college...Now he makes almost 100k a year working at the Perry nuclear power plant...He brags alot when we go out..But you know,he never tells strangers how his old man got him that job and how he works with him daily!..Sure this guy's kid could probably use a nudge or two...But this is also a bad time for many people in general...Times are different now..Back in 15 years ago people could get a chance...Now it's a battle to be the perfect candidate for even simple entry level positions at many places..As a 26 year old,this is a very trying and scary time for many,young and old..The 80's and 90's were great to my parents and many other people...Times have changed along with the opportunities..As a young person I just wanted to throw this out there...


There's jobs to had out there but people have to be willing to go get them. There's nothing for free or nothing is easy in this thing called life. If people think that way then they're in trouble from the start. Not every job is gonna pay ridiculous amounts of money but money is money and earning some is better than earning none at all and feeling sorry for yourself,blaming others,or wishing it was years past. No I'm not singling you out Iraqvet just that type of mindset in general. What's wrong with working two jobs at once if it pays the bills? Are people nowadays so willing to beg,borrow,or do nothing instead of whatever it takes to get by until brighter opportunites arises? Yeah some folks get lucky and get a good job by knowing someone but they're few and far between. Yup you betcha the job market is tough right now but it isn't hopeless. Shermans' son needs to grab his stones and do whatever it takes to get outta his dads' house and quit being the mooch he is plain and simple.


----------



## Whoknows (May 16, 2009)

I'm 24 and am back in College for the 2nd time, first time I went to a vocational college then realized lately that I hated what I went for and quit the job I was living on my own with a g/f then by myself for a while then needed to go back to college so I had to move back in with my parents due to me paying for my college I just couldn't afford living by myself and paying for college and I buy my own stuff cut the grass for them ect clean up and I work part time and work on the side with my brother for extra cash. It's honestly not hard to find a job. I went out one day got around 30 applications filled them out with in 2 days returned them and had a job within the next 2 weeks and was able to have the choice of going with a higher paying job with the same hours. 

All you need is EFFORT and MOTIVATION! It's sad I see a lot of kids my age with no motivation or having any effort to do anything with there life except working fast food type jobs with no higher education or strive to better themselves it is sad in my opinion. But then again my best friend is in the Marine Corps and he's always been by my side motivating me to always try to do better!


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

CatchNrelease said:


> Dude Peter, start over right now. You have no job, no home, zip....You can be one of the lucky people and have a job making 8 dollar's an hour. Now you solely provide for your family. At the end of the week when the only thing you can do with your paycheck is provide gas money to get to work next week, I'll hear your story again. I wasn't disrespecting you or anybody else, I'm telling you its a lot harder the you "old fart" make it out to be.


You do know that there's ways to save money even on $8 an hour. Ever hear of car pooling? Does everyone need cable,multiple cell phones,internet,etc,etc? Sometimes in life in order to provide what's essential people have to give up the things that's not important. I know a few people who survive on minimum wage and don't walk around blaming "old farts". Yeah they don't have the newest and greatest things in life but what they do have is priceless. A sense of worth from providing for their family. A sense of pride knowing they're contributing to soceity by not mooching off others. They have the love of their family. You bet it sucks to not make BIG $$$ but not every job can pay that kinda cash. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do until something better comes your way. My mother raised 3 kids on minimum wage all by herself without the help from family,friends,the state,or Federal goverment. She was able to pay for the house,utilities,and food on what little she made. She either rode the bus,took a taxi,or walked to work. She didn't have a car back then and did whatever it took to make it to work each and everyday. She didn't feel sorry for herself or blame others for one reason. She was too busy working and providing for us to be concerned with what she wasn't making per hour,how crappy the job prospects were,and all that other nonsense.


----------



## Nikster (Mar 14, 2007)

I can say that I have read every-one's post. Many good comments & some that I would not agree on.

Case being on the original topic. MAD! How long?

You will NEVER ever get any money back for the engine. Can't squeeze any more juice out of a drained whatever?

I would make them sit down with the 2 of you & MAKE them read (out loud) every point that has been posted & talk about it. Also ;

Never ever get into a heated argument with them about their situation. In a heated argument people spew out things that can NEVER be taken back & can ruin any hopes of future discussion. Stay calm & bite your tongue. I'm not saying that you should not push or motivate them, but stay calm.

It's easy for people to comment on your problem, & boy you have a big one. 

IMO;

He does need to "MAN-UP," something he is NOT DOING. If he's NOT looking for a job on a daily basis I'd put him to work at the house 6hrs. a day. I wouldn't care if that means cutting the grass every 3 days. Washing every window inside & out once a month. Washing the cars once a week. Waxing once a month. Anything, but not to have him sitting around watching t.v., & I bet thats what he does?

Good luck,

Nik


----------



## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

CatchNrelease said:


> I know exactly what I'm talking about, and I've gave you example after example why it is harder. All you guys come back with is ohhh I worked 2 jobs blah, blah, blah. Good for you, you don't think people work 2 jobs these days? Tell me something about your early years that made it so much harder to get buy than it is now, I'd love to hear about it.


Well besides the 14% interest rate, I actually had to put down a 20% down payment on my $80,000 house. Go figure......

1st job was $1.25/hr....When I went on salary it was $12,900 or a little over $6/hour....


----------



## bassmastermjb (Apr 8, 2004)

If your son had a father like mine, he wouldn't have seen his 22nd birthday. I had a hard time growing up, nothing was ever good enough, but it taught me to be better at everything I did. It also sounds like your son has no reason or desire to change as long as you keep providing for him..........Mark


----------



## bassmastermjb (Apr 8, 2004)

CatchNrelease said:


> In the 70's you could by a new home for 50,000 now there 200,000


Your correct,but you forgot something, I graduated in 1979 and was a welder by trade. My first welding job paid $2.00 an hour, I worked 10 hours a day with no overtime pay. By 1984 I was in the ironworkers union making $7.00 an hour and was able to buy my first home.Here's something else to think about. I started househunting in 1982-83 and the interest rates were 23%........Mark


----------



## lordofthepunks (Feb 24, 2009)

Snakecharmer said:


> Well besides the 14% interest rate, I actually had to put down a 20% down payment on my $80,000 house. Go figure......
> 
> 1st job was $1.25/hr....When I went on salary it was $12,900 or a little over $6/hour....


if muncie is as bad as im hearing, you can prob pick up a house for 50 to 75k. payments over a 20 year loan prob wouldnt be over $500 a month. but thats obviously too much when you getting a free place to live.


its not HARD for people to get a job. it might be hard for someone who is un-motivated, irresponsible, lazy and unintelligent to get a job but in my opinion, those are choices they make, much like having children in a hoooorrrriiiibbbble economy where no jobs are available. 

make a choice to get off your ass and provide for yourself, dont do stupid stuff like pro-creating when or if you dont have the means and place the blame and the responsibility on yourself not society and you will have a good life regardless of how much money you make.


being jealous of people that have become succussful for whatever reason should only be motivation to do something yourself, not give you an excuse for why the world is so against you.

32 years old, not an old fart, just hate when people think the world owes them something. everything you want is out there, go out and get it.


----------



## JamesT (Jul 22, 2005)

Another vote for Dude Peter!


----------



## Fish Scalper (Oct 31, 2009)

How long, over a decade and counting!


----------



## creekcrawler (Oct 5, 2004)

> Some of that might have came from luck and such..


Ummm, No. It came from working from 7:00 a.m. til whenever, sleeping on an office couch, getting up before dawn to load trucks, rinse, repeat. When we started the biz, we paid ourselves 5.00/hr.


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

spfldbassguy said:


> There's jobs to had out there but people have to be willing to go get them. There's nothing for free or nothing is easy in this thing called life. If people think that way then they're in trouble from the start. Not every job is gonna pay ridiculous amounts of money but money is money and earning some is better than earning none at all and feeling sorry for yourself,blaming others,or wishing it was years past. No I'm not singling you out Iraqvet just that type of mindset in general. What's wrong with working two jobs at once if it pays the bills? Are people nowadays so willing to beg,borrow,or do nothing instead of whatever it takes to get by until brighter opportunites arises? Yeah some folks get lucky and get a good job by knowing someone but they're few and far between. Yup you betcha the job market is tough right now but it isn't hopeless. Shermans' son needs to grab his stones and do whatever it takes to get outta his dads' house and quit being the mooch he is plain and simple.


I was agreeing with what people were saying..And yeah its pretty obvious you wanted to single me out...I dont believe anything is free or have the mindset to be a whiny baby who wants to be taken care of so I can sit around the house all day...I am saying some people have more limits on their options and that things are different these days...Their is no way I could do what his son does...But I am not his son so I don't know his mindset...I know this generation gets a ton of flack...But you know what, they had to be raised by somebody so is this the prior generations fault as well??..


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

creekcrawler said:


> Ummm, No. It came from working from 7:00 a.m. til whenever, sleeping on an office couch, getting up before dawn to load trucks, rinse, repeat. When we started the biz, we paid ourselves 5.00/hr.


Do you know how many start up businesses fail every year in the U.S.?.Sure hard work helps,along with being smart..But I also believe there was some luck on your side...I believe $5 an hour was below minimum wage 5 years ago..Was that legal?


----------



## Intimidator (Nov 25, 2008)

lordofthepunks said:


> if muncie is as bad as im hearing, you can prob pick up a house for 50 to 75k. payments over a 20 year loan prob wouldnt be over $500 a month. but thats obviously too much when you getting a free place to live.
> 
> 
> its not HARD for people to get a job. it might be hard for someone who is un-motivated, irresponsible, lazy and unintelligent to get a job but in my opinion, those are choices they make, much like having children in a hoooorrrriiiibbbble economy where no jobs are available.
> ...



All good points....I would imagine he either has no credit or his credit is shot...there's no chance he's getting a house anytime soon. 

Listen, Sherman is not alone in this...There are alot of 60 and 70 year olds where I work (automotive industry), they cannot retire because they are taking care of their Grand Children and raising them because the Parents refuse to grow up! 

I'm trying to think of all the crappy jobs that I had in my early life....cleaned golf clubs at the golf course on weekends (starting at age 12), cleaned horse stalls, detasseled corn, baled hay, de-nutted piglets, prepped cars for paint, used a hand hoe on the family 2 acre garden, etc....my Father was not a soft Man...he was a Teamster truck driver, car painter, and farmer...you pulled your weight in the family or else, you received good grades in school, you played sports or you worked on the farm full-time, you learned to become a man! Now that I have a son, I fully understand what he did for me, now...I love and respect him even more.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

JamesT said:


> Another vote for Dude Peter!


Knock it off ,ain't happening


----------



## JamesT (Jul 22, 2005)

I want to change my username from JamesT to Dude Peter, can you help me out?


----------



## bkr43050 (Apr 5, 2004)

There are some great points being brought out in this thread and I agree that it is beyond time that the son is forced to contribute to raising his own family. He has been given everything for so long that it has become the only life he knows. But the bottom line is he needs to grow up. Yes there are jobs out there to be had. No they are not necessarily dream jobs but most of us are not fortunate enough to have those fall in our laps. We have to earn them.

I would start out by laying down a plan with him that he start paying you rent for staying there. Make it something like $250/month for now but emphasize that this is only a temporary thing until they get their life in order. Make them pay for groceries as well. All the while it should be made clear with them that it is a temporary situation. I think some times people are simply too afraid that they can not make ends meet that they simply do everything they can to avoid that situation. Once they see that they can do it they will hopefully be encouraged to go out on their own. Many may say that this is too much and that parents should not need to do this with a 28 year old and that is really true because I think this ultimatum should have been presented to him 8-10 years ago. I see it as better late than never. If you simply dump them on the street there is more risk that they become a part of the welfare system and never abandon their lifestyle. I think this way gives them more of a positive and optimistic start while at the same time keeping a healthy relationship between the parents and son. And from a financial standpoint it does not really cost you as a parent much more than a time commitment.


----------



## creekcrawler (Oct 5, 2004)

> I believe $5 an hour was below minimum wage 5 years ago..Was that legal?


It was in 1985.



> But I also believe there was some luck on your side


Yup. Lucky were still here after 26 years in the steel biz.


Quit poking at me. You always poking at me. 

Happy Friday.


----------



## creekcrawler (Oct 5, 2004)

> they had to be raised by somebody so is this the prior generations fault as well??..


Know what, I agree with you completely on that.

And, I'm sure you've done your share of hard work if you were in the military.


----------



## Intimidator (Nov 25, 2008)

Iraqvet said:


> ...I know this generation gets a ton of flack...But you know what, they had to be raised by somebody so is this the prior generations fault as well??..


Not trying to single you out! You bring up a good point! 

Yes it is my generations (baby boomers) fault! We were worked hard by our parents and some of us took it too easy on our kids, gave them everything, and didn't do a good job of teaching them life lessons, morals, and values. They are passing this "lack of life knowledge" on to their kids! 

I'm 50 and have a 9 y/o...He asks why I am so hard on him....his friends, want to sit around and play video games, curse, have no respect for anything, rude, etc, etc, etc. It's shocking when they come over to play or to stay over...one time my wife asked a boy, who was staying all night for the first time, normal question (how do you like school, etc) he kept ignoring her...I ask him if he heard my wife talking to him and he said "Yup, my Dad says I don't have to talk to women because they are worthless!" Well by the end of the next day he was saying Yes Maam and No Maam.
So yes it is "Our" fault, But....the next generation has seen our mistakes and it's still not getting any better!


----------



## Iraqvet (Aug 27, 2009)

creekcrawler said:


> It was in 1985.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No lol,no pokin...I misread what you first said..I seen you say 23 then 28 ...Late bedtime lastnight...I agree with alot of your comments in general..



creekcrawler said:


> Know what, I agree with you completely on that.
> 
> And, I'm sure you've done your share of hard work if you were in the military.


Only because the Army doesn't have a MOS involving beer tasting...



Intimidator said:


> Not trying to single you out! You bring up a good point!
> 
> Yes it is my generations (baby boomers) fault! We were worked hard by our parents and some of us took it too easy on our kids, gave them everything, and didn't do a good job of teaching them life lessons, morals, and values. They are passing this "lack of life knowledge" on to their kids!
> 
> ...


I agree...People need to whoop more butts...They need to let the laws go back to letting people actually punish their kids..When we got punished, there was no getting around it by giving up a cell phone,we didn't have them..The only choice was enduring a a good whoopin..And with what,was not our call...I guess it really comes down to people's limits...I ride my nephew really hard..He tries to milk his ADHD around his mom..But he can't around here..I know he can listen,and he knows what happens when he doesn't...Sure he is only 11,and I love to laugh with him and all that good mushy stuff..But he needs to know unless you're God,you will always live a life where you you have to answer to someone for something...


----------



## bassmastermjb (Apr 8, 2004)

Sherman, Imagine you have no life insurance, have a car and mortgage payments and something tragic happens to you. What would your son do then? He better have some sort of plan if his free ride comes to an end.Your doing more harm than good by letting him neglect his responsibilities..............Mark


----------



## Muskarp (Feb 5, 2007)

gobrowntruck21 said:


> I don't know about all the other stuff, but I just want to know how a guy forgets to put oil in the car after he just drained out the old stuff??? That sucks. I'd be mad for years about that one.


I'm with you on this. Who dropped the hood before the job was done?


----------



## sherman51 (Apr 12, 2011)

puterdude said:


> Knock it off ,ain't happening


hey puterdude
i didnt mean any disrespect in my earlier post. i was just trying to add alittle humor to a bad situation. i wont make that mistake again. not in public anyway.LOL.

and something i think everyone should understand. my son got his behind busted when he needed it when he was growing up. and he was a good boy and young man. when he was in high school he detassled corn, he got himself up at 3:00 in the morning and got home about 9 or 10 at night. he has very light skin and was burned all the time he did that. and worked good for years. but after losing a couple of pretty good jobs the last couple of years he just didnt have anyplace to go. then it just seems like his head gets farther up his a$$ every day. he just seems so depressed lately. and he just started seeing a shrink about 2 weeks ago. so that may help him. i sure hope so.

i plan on letting him read this whole thread. so he can just see im not the only one that thinks any job is better than no job. and thanks to all who have posted. this is the first real problem i,ve posted on here and you guys have come through for me.
sherman


----------



## Bucket Mouth (Aug 13, 2007)

Dude pe-ter, dude pe-ter, dude pe-ter.........


----------



## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

sherman51 said:


> hey puterdude
> i didnt mean any disrespect in my earlier post. i was just trying to add alittle humor to a bad situation. i wont make that mistake again. not in public anyway.LOL.
> 
> and something i think everyone should understand. my son got his behind busted when he needed it when he was growing up. and he was a good boy and young man. when he was in high school he detassled corn, he got himself up at 3:00 in the morning and got home about 9 or 10 at night. he has very light skin and was burned all the time he did that. and worked good for years. but after losing a couple of pretty good jobs the last couple of years he just didnt have anyplace to go. then it just seems like his head gets farther up his a$$ every day. he just seems so depressed lately. and he just started seeing a shrink about 2 weeks ago. so that may help him. i sure hope so.
> ...


Good luck Sherman, We're pulling for you and your son. It's not too late for him. Remember solving this is like eating an elephant. You just got to take a little bite at a time. Small steps with success. And the GF can help too.


----------



## viper1 (Apr 13, 2004)

Oh by the way. People can stay mad for a life time. Im still mad about something 40+ years ago.


----------



## Dandrews (Oct 10, 2010)

What would he do if you weren&#8217;t there to help? I&#8217;m sure he doesn&#8217;t feel good about his situation but nothing is going to happen unless HE makes it happen. Depression and anxiety are only going to get worse by doing nothing. He has to learn to do whatever it takes; if you&#8217;re out there doing something things will eventually get better.
I&#8217;ve worked 2 jobs for 8+ years because of a situation that I never want to be in again.

...I'm still mad about something that happened when I was 12.


----------



## imalt (Apr 17, 2008)

Is it too late for an abortion? I am so sick of hearing in the news about there not being jobs. My company has been hiring for over a year and I watch one piece of s%$t after another come in here last a few days then start not showing up. Most live at home still in their late 20's or even 30's and their parents enable them. Eventually its time to get off the boob and start feeding yourself.


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

spfldbassguy said:


> You do know that there's ways to save money even on $8 an hour. Ever hear of car pooling? Does everyone need cable,multiple cell phones,internet,etc,etc? Sometimes in life in order to provide what's essential people have to give up the things that's not important. I know a few people who survive on minimum wage and don't walk around blaming "old farts". Yeah they don't have the newest and greatest things in life but what they do have is priceless. A sense of worth from providing for their family. A sense of pride knowing they're contributing to soceity by not mooching off others. They have the love of their family. You bet it sucks to not make BIG $$$ but not every job can pay that kinda cash. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do until something better comes your way. My mother raised 3 kids on minimum wage all by herself without the help from family,friends,the state,or Federal goverment. She was able to pay for the house,utilities,and food on what little she made. She either rode the bus,took a taxi,or walked to work. She didn't have a car back then and did whatever it took to make it to work each and everyday. She didn't feel sorry for herself or blame others for one reason. She was too busy working and providing for us to be concerned with what she wasn't making per hour,how crappy the job prospects were,and all that other nonsense.



I've made 8 bucks an hour before, after taxes and child support you know what I brought home? $170 a week.....a 45 minute drive one way to work everyday, there goes 70 in gas...whats left? $100 to pay rent, utilities, buy groceries....yea good luck just paying your rent. How again do you save up making $8/hr..?


----------



## lordofthepunks (Feb 24, 2009)

CatchNrelease said:


> I've made 8 bucks an hour before, after taxes and child support you know what I brought home? $170 a week.....a 45 minute drive one way to work everyday, there goes 70 in gas...whats left? $100 to pay rent, utilities, buy groceries....yea good luck just paying your rent. How again do you save up making $8/hr..?


for starters, dont put yourself in a position to have to pay for child support. if you dont have a child, you dont have to support one.


----------



## BigDub007 (Apr 1, 2010)

CatchNrelease said:


> I've made 8 bucks an hour before, after taxes and child support you know what I brought home? $170 a week.....a 45 minute drive one way to work everyday, there goes 70 in gas...whats left? $100 to pay rent, utilities, buy groceries....yea good luck just paying your rent. How again do you save up making $8/hr..?


Guess you should have thought of that before making children ......Its really not that hard dont work 45 mins away from your house......keep pluggin apps till you find what you are looking for, use that 8 $ job as a bandaid till you find what you are lookin for .....Most important stop looking at this website and use your free time to find a JOB......hustle, post on craigslist for side work......Do what ever it takes ...on your days off go to a temp agency....ect ect ect buy a power washer, make some flyers go to vistaprint.com and make a buisness card , network network use your facebook and twitter for free adverstisment....we are all just a bunch of squirrels trying to get our nut !!!


----------



## bkr43050 (Apr 5, 2004)

CatchNrelease said:


> I've made 8 bucks an hour before, after taxes and child support you know what I brought home? $170 a week.....a 45 minute drive one way to work everyday, there goes 70 in gas...whats left? $100 to pay rent, utilities, buy groceries....yea good luck just paying your rent. How again do you save up making $8/hr..?


I see a few options that would have worked in your situation. First you could move closer to your work. Or you could find another job closer to where you live. $8/hour jobs really are out there to be had. And then if necessary find a second job. The child support issue was brought on by you and your spouse. Blaming that one on the economy is wrong. We live and learn from our mistakes. Some hurt more than others and some cost us more. But placing blame everywhere else accomplishes nothing and at the end of the day you are still where you were unless you take control of the situation.

I recognize that this discussion really has very little to do with the original poster's situation but I added this because I feel that this is a thread that could help more than just Sherman.


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

BigDub007 said:


> Guess you should have thought of that before making children ......Its really not that hard dont work 45 mins away from your house......keep pluggin apps till you find what you are looking for, use that 8 $ job as a bandaid till you find what you are lookin for .....Most important stop looking at this website and use your free time to find a JOB......hustle, post on craigslist for side work......Do what ever it takes ...on your days off go to a temp agency....ect ect ect buy a power washer, make some flyers go to vistaprint.com and make a buisness card , network network use your facebook and twitter for free adverstisment....we are all just a bunch of squirrels trying to get our nut !!!


Some of you guys really are pathetic with some of your responses, acting like I'm some low life piece of trash. When I had a kid I was making $18/hr with a nice house living the dream....guess what..**** happens.....I found that out when she took my kid and moved 800 miles away, year life's a female dog....

I worked 45 mins away because thats all I could find, you don't think if I could've had something closer I wouldn't have...Trust me I didn't enjoy spending half my paycheck just getting back and forth to work everyday. 

You think if I was still making $8/hr I would be able to afford internet? Or even a computer? Like I said before, I'm doing fine now, don't worry about me. Everybody needs to take off there rosey glasses and realize doing it is much harder, sometime's impossible than just saying do this, this and this.


----------



## BigDub007 (Apr 1, 2010)

CatchNrelease said:


> Some of you guys really are pathetic with some of your responses, acting like I'm some low life piece of trash. When I had a kid I was making $18/hr with a nice house living the dream....guess what..**** happens.....I found that out when she took my kid and moved 800 miles away, year life's a female dog....
> 
> I worked 45 mins away because thats all I could find, you don't think if I could've had something closer I wouldn't have...Trust me I didn't enjoy spending half my paycheck just getting back and forth to work everyday.
> 
> You think if I was still making $8/hr I would be able to afford internet? Or even a computer? Like I said before, I'm doing fine now, don't worry about me. Everybody needs to take off there rosey glasses and realize doing it is much harder, sometime's impossible than just saying do this, this and this.


Some of you guys really are pathetic ........you are the one crying like a child about 8 bucks an hour I was just trowing some ideas out there.....you really do sound like somthing a girl would release with that attitude :[ If you want to start name calling do it in a p.m. so we dont have to read this kind of trash you are putting on a public forum.....with that being said I am going to drink a corona and kiss my beautiful wife:] Good luck out there Pal 
P.s sorry to the original poster is this gets closed ......my bad dude peter :]


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

Name calling???? When did that occur? All I have done during the entire thread was state facts, and when you guys can't defend them you try your last resort.. Attacking me, response after response, who needs to grow up?


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Ok enough.We will just all have to agree we all don't see eye to eye on the subject.When we don't at least be respectful to each other.Drop the pounding and get back to the original purpose of the thread.


----------



## sonar (Mar 20, 2005)

WOWEE!!!! SHERMAN, LOOK HOW PROVOCATIVE YOU ARE,MAN I hope we all have cleared things up a 'lil for ya??? OR at least realize that you are not the only one!! BEST of luck with your situation,& lots of stuff to read through to get to the core,which really does offer up an abundance of GOOD ideas that might just be applicable to the situation,, you are faced with!!! :C ----->>>>>sonar<<<<<-----


----------



## Muskarp (Feb 5, 2007)

puterdude said:


> Ok enough.We will just all have to agree we all don't see eye to eye on the subject.


I think you're wrong. 

We all agree you should change your screen name to Dude-Peter.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Me dragging the next person to the wood shed for suggesting I change my screen name


----------



## lordofthepunks (Feb 24, 2009)

hey dude peter, is that a pirate or a revolutionary war figure? im having a hard time envisioning which type of woodshed i will be dragged to.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

Well I guess if you guys are pounding on me at least you're leaving the others alone.So I can be the sacrificial lamb this time


----------



## pizzacouple (Jun 5, 2011)

I am 19, i live on my own with a girlfriend, two cats ( who seem worse than kids sometimes), and a basset hound. My dad owns a business in which i work 75 hours a week. Due to an earlier arrangement because of the aforementioned economy i make enough to pay my rent and that is it. no special treatment, no money for bills, just a three hundred dollar rent payment. I make tips and i save them. All the nice things i own have come from tips delivering pizzas. Sadly enough most people my age arent very driven, determined, motivated, or respectful of life or others around them...much less themselves. I guess my point is im doing everything i can to help out my dad. Any job and i mean ANY job will make money. both parents seem able to work. Welfare isn't a bad thing as long as you don't abuse it, and trust me i see my fair share of abusers... any way i figured i would give my two cents worth for all it helps. I just get tired of hearing of big time mooching. My uncle does it with my two grandparents who are 74 and 68 and hes a nurse 2 to 3 years into the job but he cant care for his own child. burns me up. i hope it all works out for the best tho.


----------



## Pigsticker (Oct 18, 2006)

lordofthepunks said:


> hey dude peter, is that a pirate or a revolutionary war figure? im having a hard time envisioning which type of woodshed i will be dragged to.


That was gold. Lmao!


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

CatchNrelease said:


> I've made 8 bucks an hour before, after taxes and child support you know what I brought home? $170 a week.....a 45 minute drive one way to work everyday, there goes 70 in gas...whats left? $100 to pay rent, utilities, buy groceries....yea good luck just paying your rent. How again do you save up making $8/hr..?


Don't get mad but I'm gonna use you as the example in this reply(I know you've stated you're doing alright now).Once again is there the car pool option?If so then you'd be dumb not to use it because it would save gas money and wear and tear on your vehicle. The child support is either because you're divorced or had a child outside of marriage but there's no way to get out of paying that. So you got $400 a month to pay bills and eat,well have you ever thought about a roommate? That'd help split some of the cost right there. If you are living with a chick then she outta be working and helping out as well. If both of you are working then there's a little $800 to get through the month on. Won't be living like a king but you'll be surviving.


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

CatchNrelease said:


> Name calling???? When did that occur? All I have done during the entire thread was state facts, and when you guys can't defend them you try your last resort.. Attacking me, response after response, who needs to grow up?


What facts have you stated? Maybe I'm missed them and if I did I'll blame it on the fact that I went to public school in a downtrodden city that has no job prospects and has more bars than one person can drink at in a single year.


----------



## spfldbassguy (Mar 23, 2009)

lordofthepunks said:


> hey dude peter, is that a pirate or a revolutionary war figure? im having a hard time envisioning which type of woodshed i will be dragged to.


I don't think it matter which type he'll drag you to because it probably wouldn't be a joyful experience anyways.


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

spfldbassguy said:


> What facts have you stated? Maybe I'm missed them and if I did I'll blame it on the fact that I went to public school in a downtrodden city that has no job prospects and has more bars than one person can drink at in a single year.


Fact: The cost of a new home went up 1000% since 1970, the price of gasoline went up 800%, the average household income only increased 450%. If you go back only a few years before 1970 its substantially higher. I don't make this up folks.


----------



## copperdon (Jun 3, 2011)

> one time my wife asked a boy, who was staying all night for the first time, normal question (how do you like school, etc) he kept ignoring her...I ask him if he heard my wife talking to him and he said "Yup, my Dad says I don't have to talk to women because they are worthless!" Well by the end of the next day he was saying Yes Maam and No Maam.
> So yes it is "Our" fault, But....the next generation has seen our mistakes and it's still not getting any better!
> 
> Read more: http://www.ohiogamefishing.com/community/showthread.php?t=176775#ixzz1QJdkQtdH


Oh man... that kid obviously never met MY mom. She'd have had his butt *saluting* by lunchtime.

I was actually more scared of getting into trouble with my mom than I was my dad.
That _"wait til your father gets home" _stuff didn't fly in my house when I was growing up. By the time dad got home from work, all the disciplining had already been done!


----------



## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

CatchNrelease said:


> Fact: The cost of a new home went up 1000% since 1970, the price of gasoline went up 800%, the average household income only increased 450%. If you go back only a few years before 1970 its substantially higher. I don't make this up folks.


Of course the size of a new house is also about twice the size of a new home in 1970. And average gas milage has probably doubled too.


----------



## Snakecharmer (Apr 9, 2008)

Not made up either:

The Question:
What is the average home size in the U.S.?

The Answer:
According to the National Association of Home Builders, the average home size in the United States was 2,700 square feet in 2009, up from 1,400 square feet in 1970.

Read more: U.S. Home Size &#8212; Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/askeds/us-home-size.html#ixzz1QJf7cpjg


----------



## copperdon (Jun 3, 2011)

> please let me know your thoughts on this mess
> 
> Read more: http://www.ohiogamefishing.com/community/showthread.php?t=176775&page=4#ixzz1QJfnWAJ5


28 is way too old to be living with mom and dad - at least on a permanent basis. I was holding a part time job at 14, all the way through high school, and by seventeen was kicking in for rent. I was out of the house by 18 and never went back... not because I didn't love my dad - he was the best guy in the world from my eyes and I miss him everyday - but because I *wanted *to be on my own and independant.

I can see if he's just getting over a very temporary 2 or 3 week bump in the road and just needs a little time to get his head above water, - ya know, if he was laid off, downsized, something out of his control.

But 28 awith a wife and children crashing at Dad's? No. Although what you've done is certainly admirable; looking after the little ones. As far as the oil changing situation, well, I'm gong to have to agree with other posters here - it certainly sucks and it's a lousy deal but there's more here than just a messed up oil change.

It's time for some tough love. Is he even looking for work? Is he gigng you part of his unenmployment check? Is he doing his best to contribute what he can in work around the house or giving you food from food stamps?

If not, then you're perpetuating this situation by letting him get away with it. I say that with total respect because what you are doing is the sign of a real stand up guy... but what he's doing* isn't*.

IMHO of course.


----------



## CatchNrelease (Mar 20, 2011)

Snakecharmer said:


> Not made up either:
> 
> The Question:
> What is the average home size in the U.S.?
> ...


In 2010 the average size dropped to 2400 square feet yet the median price of a new home went up $5,000 from 09'. So is it more square footage that drive's prices up or is it inflation? I'd say the cost to build a bigger house is minimal compared to the effect inflation has on it. Either way you look at it, it still takes 50% more of you pay check than it did in 1970.


----------



## puterdude (Jan 27, 2006)

I think this thread has ran it's course & sherman has probably got his answer and than some.


----------

